How do I become more interesting to the woman I am trying to date or ask out?

CompassRoseGaming · 2020-07-21T14:55:04+00:00

Simple; do what you want. Don't be afraid of being seen as a dork, or a jerk, or a nerd.

I had a similar discussion with my mom about this, and since I am now mature enough to know what she is talking about, she said this; Women hate men who don't have an opinion.

What she means by this is that women (and people in general) will respect you more when you aren't just being a chameleon for their approval.

Stick to your guns, within reason.

SaperER · 2020-07-21T08:10:54+00:00

I think your frame is wrong. You don't become interesting to a specific woman. You broadcast qualities attractive to all women: dress nicely, smell good, being aware of your body language and stuff like that, which you can find videos about on youtube.

Then, when you got that down, you narrowcast the qualities that you are most likely to have in common with the type of women you want to date. So have an identity, be it a vegan or a carnivore, someone into crossfit or Dungeon and Dragons, whatever. Then figure out where these women are, and ask them out there.

misiepatysie · 2020-07-21T13:38:33+00:00

Don't try to be interesting for a woman. Just have some hobbies, passions and try finding a date within fans of the same activity.

Inareskai · 2020-07-21T08:31:44+00:00

I don't really know if this is the right sub for this question, it feels more like a question for dating advice etc.

That being said, what are you interested in? Find women who are interested in the same things.

frappuccinoCoin · 2020-07-21T08:22:42+00:00

Be a more interesting person by travelling, doing interesting things and having experiences, this is incredibly appealing not just to women but to make male friends, as you'd have had an interesting life, one worth sharing with others.

tomowudi · 2020-07-21T15:16:45+00:00

Why are you interested in dating someone that doesn't find you interesting the way you are?

luridlurker · 2020-07-21T16:57:29+00:00

What do you want to attract? Contrary to the opposites attracts cliche, like attracts like. If you want a woman who's successful in her career, be successful yourself. If you want a woman who's well-read, be well-read yourself. If you want an educated woman, focus on your education.

PollyannaSpock · 2020-07-22T05:53:09+00:00

SELF. CONFIDENCE. That's always the most sexy thing in a man. And you get that by stilling your critical inner monologue.

A critical inner monologue is what makes non-confident people look non-confident. It spills out of them in the form of shy body language, stammering and/or low self-esteem words, or uncomfortable silence.

Basically practice some stress management skills like spending 15 minutes a day listening to your breath to get your mind in the habit of shutting the hell up. And then, practice fixating on uplifting thoughts (but not unrealistic ones that you don't believe). Be aware of critical, negative thoughts, and let them pass out of your mind.

(((This is how you retrain your mind)))

When your mind isn't all balled up with garbage and critical thoughts, you'll be "in-the-zone" and you'll be able to be in a high creative state and you'll be able to come up with clever things to say whatever the situation or person.

And of course, as philosopher Alan Watts said: '"t is obvious that the only interesting people are interested people, and to be completely interested is to have forgotten about 'I'." Confidence + compassion + interest is an unbeatable combo.

Funkydirigidoo · 2020-07-21T14:44:58+00:00

Diagnosis: Oneitis

PenguinIntrovert · 2020-07-21T15:25:49+00:00

Find a hobby. Or two. Be willing to talk about those hobbies. Be able to be patient if she wants to learn about those hobbies from you. Don’t be obsessive, and don’t only talk about yourself. If you find things you’re passionate about that you have fun doing and that make you happy, then you’re going to be interesting to the right person.

Also. Don’t focus on just dating. Look for friends. Look for people who also are happy doing what you do. Most people find a person who is excited about something interesting. Besides, you’ll be happier if you stop focusing on what you don’t yet have.

kitzdeathrow · 2020-07-21T17:25:08+00:00

I think r/dating might be a better place for this sort of question. But, since I'm here I'll give my 2 cents.

It really depends on what you mean by "interesting." I would assume by that word you mean something past just basic physical attraction and more of an emotional or personal connection. With that in mind, I would say that most women don't really care what your specific hobbies are when they are getting to know you. What they care about is that you are passionate about them and can articulate why you like them or the special things about thing in a way that is approachable and understandable.

I play D&D, I'm even DMing a campaign right now. Times are changing, but D&D is still viewed as a fairly nerdy, "don't talk about this with certain people," type of thing. But, I'll bring it up when I'm getting to know someone. I don't frame it as "me and my nerd friends like to make believe we are wizards and go slay dragons." I frame it as "I like to get involved in telling a story with my friends and roleplay as a character who is not myself. Its the creative aspect of it that really appeals to me." That type of framing opens the door to a conversation with them about their creative outlets or what type of things they do with their friends to escape from the BS in the real world.

Your interests are you own and you should never be ashamed of them (unless its something like necrophilia or something like that). Use your interests to establish a common ground with someone and then use that common ground to learn about what makes this person different from the others you've spoken to. Treat them like individuals and respect them. You might not end up having a romantic relationship, but I've made a lot of friends by just being open, sharing, and listening with an open mind.

YesIamALizard · 2020-07-21T22:59:12+00:00

Women find you attractive then being attractive they find what you do interesting.

stopannoyingmeyall · 2020-07-22T08:06:25+00:00

Be yourself. Thats it. You dont know how incredibly sexy I find men who dont give a fuck about what people think of them. By that I dont mean weirdos. But people who dont let bandwagon thinking taint their personality. This guy I met thought I was weird and embarassing because his friends thought so (it was actually because I refused to date one of them, them being the incels they were badmouthed me). Fast forward 6 months and I became a popular girl. But who did I end up dating? The guy who stuck up for me even when everyone around him disapproved.

Title	How do I become more interesting to the woman I am trying to date or ask out?
Author	philo_soph1a
Upvotes	10
Comments	18
Date	July 21, 2020 8:00 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/hv3f6u/how_do_i_become_more_interesting_to_the_woman_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-do-i-become-more-interesting-to-the-woman-i-am.716586 https://theredarchive.com/post/716586

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