So I dumped my last boyfriend and homeboy is not taking it well. I realized, right around when Corona hit, that I had a lot of baggage I needed to unpack so I sought the help of a counselor and a grassroots counseling group. I engaged in psychotherapy atleast once a week, journaled my ass off.

Fast forward a few months and my calendar is nearly full with me-focused activities and homeboy is jelly. It sucked because if we lived similar lifestyles we could have meal prepped/exercised/discussed growing pains together but he wasn't on the same upward spiral.

In the beginning I cared about him a lot. I dreamed of our future and hoped we would grow together. We very obviously grew apart and I was not able to give him the attention/love that he demanded. He was incredibly supportive and encouraging so I feel bad that I wasnt able to match his love in that way although I did try my best to do so for him despite the circumstances he chose for himself...

When I broke up with him, while abrupt, I did without pointing out his flaws in an attempt to not hurt him more. He was heart. Broken.

Fast forward a week: hes messaging me how much he misses me and how it's painful. Then I get a message from a friend asking if we're together. Homeboy had been soliciting "cuddles" from other women, a women he met when I took him to an intimate birthday get together. Like wtf.

So I respond to his love bomb with hesitation and call out his attention seeking behaviour and ask him to not engage in it so close to my friend group.

Apparently I'm an asshole for saying that to such a "vulnerable " person. Oh yeah. In response to the message he showed up at my doorstep that night loudly banging... blowing up my phone. Has history of emotional outbursts, did not answer. Cannot make this shit up.

How do I move on without causing anymore harm to this person? Was I wrong for calling him out on his behavior?

After reading his messages, especially ones about my spiritual high horse, I'm genuinely questioning if I'm some fucked up, insensitive person who brashly hurts others.