I keep thinking I wasn’t good enough

LunaValley · 2020-08-02T18:18:15+00:00

Take this time to work on yourself and channel your queen energy. He negged you incessantly to knock you down several pegs. He's a fart in the wind compared to what you deserve and will get in your future. Invest in yourself and start reading the handbook like the Bible, Why Men Love B*tches and watch SheRaSeven1 -- that woman is absolute therapy. Also feel free to vent in the gc here as we will always support you too. 💝

Flufferly · 2020-08-02T18:29:22+00:00

Think if it like an emotional hangover. You've been drunk on this guy for so long that withdrawal is going to be a b****. It's just part of the process. And hey, you don't have to be good enough for someone else. You just have to be good enough for you.

MalloryDame · 2020-08-02T18:32:27+00:00

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way but know it's very normal. They can be extremely manipulative, especially after realizing YOU are dumping THEM - in order to avoid feeling rejected, they'll make you feel rejected instead. It's a really, really shitty tactic but very, very common. If you feel undesirable, not only will it empower them (you're just not good enough for THEM) but also will assure you won't go try and find someone else straight away (because your self-esteem is too low for that), which means you keep the door open for them - they know they're the first person you'll look for when you're feeling at your lowest (they're safety, familiarity) and they'll be right there, ready to "accept you back" even if only for a one night stand. I know how you're feeling right now, believe me, and it sucks. But it gets better - to speed up the process, make sure you're taking good care of yourself - mentally, emotionally and physically - and it doesn't hurt to get a little more generous with your exterior either. Put on make up, do your hair, put on some great clothes and just generally try and act like you're on top of the world even if you're not - fake it til you make it - because one day you'll believe it and start feeling good about yourself again. It takes time and patience but hang in there. The first sign you're not "undesirable" is when you get attention from both men and women. It's not your main goal, but it certainly helps with your self-esteem to find a guy looking at you with interest or a woman admiring you from afar. Don't let this guy get to you and just keep doing you! You'll do fine.

VioletRomantic · 2020-08-02T19:28:26+00:00

It helps to remember that those comments he made weren't from a genuine place. They were designed and said specifically with the intention of hurting you, lowering your self esteem, and making you smaller in your own life. They aren't any more true than if he had tried to convince you the sky was green with purple stripes. It can be hard to let them go, but lies designed to hurt you dont deserve space in your mind.

eveninghope · 2020-08-02T19:25:33+00:00

Learn positive self talk. When you talk to yourself imagine you're talking to the 8yo version of you. What would you say to her? "Well, sweetie, let's think about what we learned here." "You tried really hard but sometimes things just don't work out." "It's ok to be sad for a little while." "There's nothing wrong with you - you're so smart/funny/cute/whatever."

TheOGJammies · 2020-08-02T18:55:46+00:00

The first mindset shift is understanding you have value and the right to feel good about yourself and pursue your own happiness. Meditate on it until you beleive it and know what self love and self beleif feels like with every cell of your body.

princessskittyxoxo · 2020-08-02T19:23:24+00:00

Yes to all these comments. You are enough and you are beautiful. Don't listen to that trashbag. I am still working on my confidence after years of it being torn down by LVM. Little things here and there help like putting more effort into self care and appearance. I invest a lot into my hair, skin, and outfits. Even something as simple as trimming my damn cuticles makes me feel better. The other day I wore a fancy bra and panty set fron Victoria's Secret under my outfit just to prance around the grocery store like a damn queen. Baby steps!!

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-08-02T18:09:08+00:00

It will get better. Give yourself time.

LunaValley · 2020-08-02T18:59:20+00:00

[deleted]

Title	I keep thinking I wasn’t good enough
Author	LunaValley
Upvotes	47
Comments	18
Date	August 2, 2020 3:49 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i2e7kb/i_keep_thinking_i_wasnt_good_enough/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-keep-thinking-i-wasnt-good-enough.722101 https://theredarchive.com/post/722101

Comments