As asian female who grew up in japan and moved here few years ago, I always had specific type of guys I was attracted to physically. Tall, slim with boyish face. Meaning pretty boy. Little did I know most of these guys are considered low hierarchy men’s social circle and actually feminine.

My first ex was from Saudi and he had really cute face, 5,11 (180cm) with sick mentality. Really sick and never met anyone so screwed up than him. I was ofc foreigner so I didn’t know how he used to be more of left out and nerd. When he moved to uk from Saudi he was desperately trying to fit in the crowd and fit in the style and actually he went Wayy out of his way to fit in. Don’t get me wrong. When in Rome, do as romans do. I believe in that. But he was acting like a boy who suddenly lost all his standards and morals and desperately wanting to fit in the ‘in crowd’ in London. It was pathetic.

My second ex- he was from Germany, tall and slim with broad shoulder. Honestly, physically he was the hottest guy I’ve ever met in real life. He just turned me on whenever I saw him. But he told me German girls aren’t into him and he was bullied. I once saw a photo of him and his friends and all his friends looked like Big Bang theory cast. Short, weird and ofc nerdy. He was the odd one sticking out. When I tried to visit him again, he suddenly started calling me stalker when I didn’t do anything that indicated stalking behavior. I didn’t beg or neg. I was never emotionally clingy. Because of his bullied past, he assumed I’d be up for something.

Both of them were at the bottom of their social circle. I was told for men, they care about their status in friends circle more than anything. Even if it means being bottom of the hierarchy they still want to be included. If you notice, most of the times guys who are at the bottom of this group act like a servant and beta among his friends and let’s out his resentment and suddenly try to be dominant when being with his woman. And somehow oddly most of these are usually pretty boy types. So girls think they are good guys with genetically cute looking face. But after my experience I prefer to date someone who’s masculine, even with uglier face. Someone who’s confident in their status and comfortable and have their own standards which doesn’t change according to country he moves to. Who has firm sense of self.