Hi, yesterday i found this sub, i read all entries. First of all, english is not my native language, i'm chilean woman, 19 years old. Sorry if my grammar is wrong, i write this with help of a translate.

So, here is my history:

I met a man at the RedPill, I didn't quite know what he was yet, but I knew some concepts.

When we started talking, I told him that an another man treated me badly and that I left him.

He didn't believe me.

We kept talking about a lot of things, outside of the whole RedPill, he is a very smart and sensitive man. I liked him a lot when he was more open to me.

But after a problem, he stopped asking me how I was feeling, or my thoughts. While I was worrying about him or praising him. He stopped talking to me a month after he told me that women disgusted him. All that time I was feeling very bad, sadness and suffering cuz he left me after saying me that.

It turns out that he stopped talking to me because I had had a talk with one of his friends and showed him a screen grab with a message from him. That offended him. So instead of telling me what was wrong, he told me that women disgusted him and he left me for that month.

In my sadness I went into crisis, and I read RedPills like crazy. Very few nights that month I slept without crying. Sometimes I couldn't sleep; I would read RedPills and then cry, in a loop.

When we talked again, I apologized and continued reading RedPills.

He in turn was becoming increasingly insensitive and emotionally distant. I don't know if he was happy for me when I told him I made new friends, but he asked me about their money. That for some reason drove me crazy, I snapped, I discussed everything with him. Then I apologized for being irrational (I was) but I told him I was walking away because I didn't like his ideas about women; when we argued he 1) didn't apologize for leaving me depressed for a month, without clearly telling me what was wrong. 2) He told me that all women were prostitutes.

So I blocked him out from all sides.

I can't stop to cry and feeling sad and guilty. Maybe he Is right, maybe i am a whore. I desired him quickly, i think that he was masculine (even when he described himself like a "beta male") and sexy, and smart, and sensitive. He is autistic like me, for him i accepted my autism, i admire him because he speak with me about him autism. I can't stop to remember all the good things of him. I can't stop to think that he will come back to me and ask for apologyze and love me again.

What i can do for overcome him? What i can do for overcome this feelings?