I have lurked here for awhile and made an account to solicit some advice.

My husband and I have been married for a year. I have lived independently since I was 18, working full-time, sharing an apartment with two friends, went through college, got the degree, lived in my own place alone for two years/relocated and worked in my field of profession before meeting and marrying Husband.

Husband moved out when he was 21, and always lived with roommates, usually one who owned the house and included all bills in the rent. This is relevant for the problem we are currently facing.

Since discovering the red pill, I have worked extremely hard at not nagging, being gentle and deferring to Husband in decision-making, running our small household, where we go out to eat, vacation etc. I'm far from perfect, but I think I am getting the hang of settling into an RP dynamic within the marriage.

I have always been the one to handle finances and shared bills in roommate situations in the past. I pay each bill early or on time, and I budget to the dollar. After we married, my husband and I agreed to split some of the household tasks down the middle: he would take care of certain bills, certain chores, certain tasks, I would take care of others. We have different standards of cleanliness, so I took on chores where we would not clash or I would not be tempted to nag at him to do a 'better' job. In other words, we both adjusted to be of help to one another and to avoid little very day problems.

Unfortunately, my husband and I did not thoroughly discuss how we handle finances. I pay everything manually and on certain dates that line up with how the monthly budget spreadsheet is set up. I assumed he knew what I was doing by looking a the spreadsheet. Instead, he put his share of the bills on automatic payments. One bill in particular, was not being paid. He has a separate checking account, and I again, assumed he was paying it from there. I did not see that the payments were failing to be made three months in a row.

We finally caught it, had to make a late payment and exhaust one of our savings account that took months to build up.

I am so angry and disappointed. He tried to hide it from me and fix it thinking I would never know. I figured it out when I saw a huge chunk of our savings was wiped. We usually have great communication

In your opinion, how is the best way to handle this situation? I want to offer to take the rest of the budgeting off of his plate. He is overwhelmed by it, feels bad about what he did. I have refrained from reacting other than saying, "we can fix it." and changing the topic quickly. He can tell I am mad. I really do want to support him and be gracious towards him through this snafu.

Is it against RP to handle the finances? Should I let him decide who does them? How do I support him even through my disappointment?