My SO want's to DJ, I have doubts about our relationship.

Buckley92 · 2021-01-30T19:11:35+00:00

My ex who is 25 years older than me and a banker was a DJ as a job in the 80s and early 90s, mostly at weddings and birthday parties, to earn extra money. He still has his records, and is very passionate about his music, especially that era of music. It didn't affect his mental state, it didn't turn him into a drug or sex addict, what it did do was turn him into an 80s and 90s music fiend who if he could get away with it probably wouldn't shut up about it. May God have mercy on the woman who dates him who has no passion for that era of music.

littleudonbowl · 2021-01-30T17:42:18+00:00

I can empathize a bit. My husband was wary that I was a bartender for all of university, up until Covid-19. Some context: I'm turning 25 and studied part-time while interning at tech companies.

Bartending wasn't a full-time job, but it made him very uncomfortable. I would dress up and talk to other guys, which was part of my job, and he felt betrayed that I'd use my feminism to get more tips. But obviously, these tips supported HIM when he lost his job during Covid!

We needed to share our feelings and apprehensions with each other. I wasn't even aware that he felt this way for over 2 years, which was bad on my end. It sounds like it's time you explain what you're feeling to your husband. I think it's normal to feel jealous, apprehensive, annoyed, etc when our partners make a different life decision that the one we envision. Now, it's up to you to open up and work through your insecurities together.

Mewster1818 · 2021-01-30T19:39:23+00:00

Making a little bit of extra money at events, doing something that one is passionate about is completely reasonable so long as it's balanced with everything else.

Maybe try suggesting that he focus more on events rather than night clubs (quinceneras, anniversaries, birthday parties, weddings, etc). That would give him the flexibility to schedule out when and how long he wants to work in advance, and for the most part involve more tame atmospheres than a night club.

2021-01-30T17:56:38+00:00

That's not a lifestyle that appeals to me. What about it do you think makes having a family a problem? I would have a discussion with him about that about it appeals to him.

FunkOff · 2021-01-30T19:34:45+00:00

You are right to worry about this. On top of what other commenters have said (the temptation of other women), it's not clear that DJing is a stable or well-paying job with which one can support a family. The irregular hours and likelihood of frequent work travel also can make family life more challenging.

I don't have advice for you one way or the other, but certainly you should speak to him and have him weigh his desire for a stable job and family versus his desire to go live a rock-star life with no commitments. You should also weigh the benefit of leaving him to find somebody more interested in family versus the value of loyalty and commitment to the relationship you started and invested in.

DeLovehlyCoconute · 2021-01-30T20:36:30+00:00

That makes sense, OP. Night clubs are full of promiscuous women who try sleeping with the DJ. It would give him a bunch of sexual attention, lots more options, and plenty of chances to cheat.

reddishrobin · 2021-01-30T19:08:05+00:00

I'd be wary too, lots of opportunities for him to stray when partying around other women

pearlsandstilettos · 2021-01-30T20:15:10+00:00

[removed]

Title	My SO want's to DJ, I have doubts about our relationship.
Author	Throwawayyy97555
Upvotes	12
Comments	12
Date	January 30, 2021 4:34 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/l8pdnl/my_so_wants_to_dj_i_have_doubts_about_our/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-so-wants-to-dj-i-have-doubts-about-our.742783 https://theredarchive.com/post/742783

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