When I was 21, I gave up on women. College was one big black pill in that regard. Every girl followed the same routine - use smart, nerdy guys to help them get good grades and use the attractive frat boy jocks to meet their sexual desires. Oh yeah, and then go into the workforce and steal jobs from more deserving men in the name of "diversity and inclusion" or "gender equity."

Now that I'm 25, I've realized that I've also given up on men, and society as a whole. Back in school I had "friends." People who I thought I could trust. I was wrong. You can't trust anyone in this world except for yourself, and possibly your close family members (and even that is not a guarantee). This happened all the time in college where your "friend" would choose an attractive girl who they haven't ever met over you.

I've phased out a lot of my old college friends. Not because they ever wronged me necessarily, but because I could tell that they weren't ever truly my friend. More my drinking acquaintance that I could never trust with anything meaningful. It really does seem like everyone is stuck in the matrix. It's not even an analogy anymore, it's straight up reality.

As a result, I've become more and more "safe" over the years. I don't let anyone in, physically or mentally. I likely feel how most 80 something year old men feel - tired and annoyed of all of the bullshit that is going on in the world around them.

Work is another piece of this puzzle as well. I have an engineering degree and make good money, but as I alluded to earlier, my industry is flooded with women. The women spend at least a few hours out of their day planning "social events." Usually we have at least one or two "social events" per week, which end up being a complete waste of an hour of my time where I could be A) Working or B) Doing something that I actually want to be doing. Talk about a complete waste of corporate dollars.

If I were to do it all over again, I would have gone to a trade school where I am either more isolated or with more like minded people. At this point I think I'm just going to keep grinding until 30 and then reassess financially and chase my dream when I have more wiggle room in that regard.