Do you ladies have any particular go-to polite way of saying no (especially towards pushy guys)

CountTheBees · 2021-05-22T22:10:39+00:00

That's a bit scary. I don't think there's a better way you could have reacted, especially with no warning.

If he's really pushy, he'll keep trying to pester you. Let him know you can't be pushed around. Stomping away is good. Making a lot of noise and letting people around you know you're uncomfortable is good too. If every interaction you have with him is publicly humiliating he won't talk to you anymore.

Ie, loudly shout "LET GO YOU'RE HURTING ME" if he grabs your wrist (even if it doesn't hurt). He doesn't sound like someone you have to be polite or truthful with at all. Or loudly "STOP BOTHERING ME I ALREADY TOLD YOU".

Learn to make noise. Predators rely on you being quiet and polite so don't be.

marypoaster · 2021-05-22T22:13:51+00:00

I’ve never felt the need to be polite to those who are aggressive in pursuing me. I think that man was completely inappropriate to grab your wrist. Men like that need to be told bluntly that you’re not interested. Mature men know how to read cues. You not texting was a major cue you weren’t into him so he should’ve approached you politely or moved on.

In normal situations where the men politely ask for your number, just tell them thanks but you’re not interested. If you’re worried they will get angry, tell them you’re seeing someone.

transdermalcelebrity · 2021-05-22T22:35:14+00:00

Pushy is one thing, touching me is something completely different. Someone grabs me my voice drops low, I let myself sound nasty and aggressive, and will say “LET GO OF ME NOW!” Stare them in the face with anger. Be angry. Not quite yelling but definitely loud. A command, not a request. And I’m normally a very quiet and soft spoken introvert with a high pitched voice.

But I had to use my other voice a few times with men much bigger than me when I was an 18 year old graveyard shift waitress in a rough part of town.

Verbally pushy can be obnoxious but you can either just say “No, sorry.” Or something like “I’m with someone.” Close ended, no discussion. And walk away.

Physical contact is a huge, disrespectful “no no” and that needs to get slapped down immediately. Do not be nice or polite. Grabbing you is neither of those things.

planterkitty · 2021-05-22T23:21:42+00:00

"You're making me feel uncomfortable" or "You are harassing me right now. Please stop". "Wow, you're being creepy right now." When you communicate plainly a lot of people don't like the implication that they're the bad guy, and will want to change their act immediately.

If they ignore or insist, just repeat yourself. "You're making me uncomfortable. Can you please leave me alone?"

Men like this also try to start small and then escalate. Resist the urge to agree to coffee, or being walked home, or being given someone's number. Resist the urge to answer intrusive questions about your personal life, dating history, or how you feel about someone. Don't justify, argue, defend, or explain your decisions as people who don't take no for an answer will just dismantle your reasoning and argue for a reason for you to go with their way.

OursIs-TheFury · 2021-05-23T01:17:08+00:00

Why do you feel bad about? He should count himself lucky that you didn’t kick him in his fucking nuts. Grabbing a women and dragging her somewhere else is not okay and you should tell your boss about it.

Jenneapolis · 2021-05-22T23:50:24+00:00

If it’s a stranger, I tell them I’m in a relationship (which I am but I did this when I was single too). Unfortunately many guys seem to respect that I am another guys territory more than they respect me just saying I’m not interested. But if it’s someone you work with, that’s probably not possible. You could try to say some thing like I don’t date people I work with but that probably would invite argument as well. You don’t need to be polite, you can just say you are not interested. If he follows up with why, I would just say I don’t owe you any explanation.

lensneko · 2021-05-23T02:03:18+00:00

It’s best to tell him directly that you aren’t interested politely the first time. If he doesn’t get it, you’ll have to make it more clear and speak up about it if it gets worse

_biryani_ · 2021-05-22T21:22:01+00:00

Sorry to hear about your experience! :( I just say "Thanks but I'm engaged!" They usually back off after that. Hope that helps :)

RRBeachFG2 · 2021-05-23T19:08:52+00:00

Tell them you aren't interested in them like that, if it requires anything more than that then its harrassment.

Thas_a_wickedgarden · 2021-05-24T05:35:08+00:00

I think your reaction wasn’t bad or uncalled for really. You have to be direct and say “I’m not interested. Leave me alone.” That is a direct request where he knows exactly what you expect of him. Of course since he was aggressive I sure as heck wouldn’t do that alone. I say text him that and maybe confide in someone to have your back. However, because this happened at work I would consider telling the manager about his behavior if it happens again. I think warning him before reporting him is fair.

I can’t say being rude and yelling at him will help you out in the long run. Why act brash when you can plan out your actions to get the same results?

BeachSunset20 · 2021-05-27T04:26:30+00:00

Him grabbing you is NOT OK. I’d tell the boss immediately. In the future you could lie about having a bf. I usually just smile and say thank you to any compliments and keep walking. Or walk away without responding at all if a random stranger is getting too flirty. If someone starts bugging you at school outside of class just lie and say you’ve got somewhere to be and bounce.

And if anyone gets reallllllyyyy creepy there’s nothing wrong with telling them to fuck off. That usually does the trick. And don’t worry about it not being a feminine thing to say because most normal guys would like that you can hold your own when needed.

countrylemon · 2021-05-28T13:31:25+00:00

I’m direct with men always. The moment you make me uncomfortable or feel disrespected any and all chances of me being polite are out of the window. Real men don’t behave this way.

You need to be FIRM, doesn’t matter particularly what you say but you need to be firm.

stripedtanker · 2021-05-22T23:00:31+00:00

I'd love to hear more about this. I'm a guy and I can read cues pretty well, but I also frequent clubs and people are hyperaggressive and usually don't read cues, which forces me to be hyperaggressive as well. And unfortunately for the girls who don't like it, some girls are receptive to it and if you aren't aggressive, you miss out. So curious as to what girls, who don't like it, do about it.

Title	Do you ladies have any particular go-to polite way of saying no (especially towards pushy guys)
Author	strawberrybananaemma
Upvotes	3
Comments	18
Date	May 22, 2021 8:51 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/nirt7k/do_you_ladies_have_any_particular_goto_polite_way/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/do-you-ladies-have-any-particular-go-to-polite-way.755460 https://theredarchive.com/post/755460

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