Anyone feeling empty and pointless?

JohnPettimore · 2021-06-08T00:29:30+00:00

Okay, listen.

The whole "solitary, fringe-dwelling" characterization, along with "quiet, old strange guy who lives alone" thing is not your voice. It's not what you believe. It's a social construct. It's someone else's opinion, someone else's standards, someone else's interpretation of what's important. You're reacting to a pattern that's designed to keep you in line. This world punishes the shit out of anyone who doesn't fit in.

The traditional social structures were created to keep you under control. They were constructed for mediocrities. You don't have to do any of that shit. You can dig deep, decide for yourself what's important, and then fucking do it.

The problem with freedom, which is what MGTOW is all about, is that you have to learn how to use it. You have to give yourself permission to be free, basically, which means thinking for yourself, and learning how to really use that freedom to be and do what really matters to you. What is it?

The rewards are incredible. Somewhere deep inside you is something that really resonates with your soul, and your identity. Now that you've ditched the wife, you get to find out what it is, and more importantly, you get to do it. Don't waste the chance.

trump4president2024 · 2021-06-08T00:09:35+00:00

Show me a man who is bored and I will show you a boring man.

I am MGTOW. I own several thriving businesses. I have friends. I date every now and then when I am in the mood for it. I have more hobbies and interests than I have time for. Being alone and solitary is a privilege whenever I get to enjoy it.

Dude.... whatever your problem is, I don't think MGTOW has anything to do with it.

12E21C6 · 2021-06-07T23:45:08+00:00

I'm not even 30 and I feel the same, but I really have no one. You have a kid, man. That's plenty of purpose. Go on camping trips, take him dirt biking, teach him practical skills, play video games together, talk about girls.

plainnsimpleforever · 2021-06-08T00:12:51+00:00

I (and wife at the time) migrated to Australia when my son was 13 months. We had a daughter 4 years later. We had no family, friends, nothing... just showed up at the airport and took it from there. So my kids had no family, no grandparents for grandparents day at school, no aunts/uncles/cousins. We divorced when my girl was 8 so it was even less of a family.

But we made it work. My daughter loves it in AU and wants to live here for good. My son ironically wants to go back to where he was born. But it's been a good life and I thank myself every day that I made the decision to come here, albeit with the family drawbacks. But even with family, once my parents died which is normally the glue that holds the siblings together, my family at my home country moved all over the country. So even if I had stayed I would have only seen my family 2-3 times a year.

Yes, lack of purpose is a serious issue with men. Women can get older and putter around the house keeping busy but men need a drive. I wrestle with this same issue now that I am 61. What do I do? And my kids have certainly seen this slowdown. But I have become very active in the autism community and run a social group for adult autists to help with their social interaction skills. You have to find out your purpose at that time and it certainly doesn't have to be money-driven. It may change in 10 years and that's fine, but men need to find it and always ask themselves if they are on the right path.

GYOWAndy · 2021-06-08T02:03:30+00:00

I'm somewhat confused by your loneliness.

You know have time to pick up a hobby or three, time to read, enlighten yourself with books and other online sources, to spend time researching what to invest your money in, to pursue some college course, to hike, surf, kayak, enjoy yhe outdoors, exercise, or whatever.

While many here just prefer the freedom to play games, you have the opportunity to enrich yourself. You have the freedom to pick whatever options or others I didn't list to fulfill your time. But stagnating, just doing nothing will give you ample time to feel loneliness. Don't give yourself that chance.

kakramer1211 · 2021-06-08T04:18:40+00:00

Teaching your son how to be a man who creates and then satisfies his own interests in not nothing. Take him to do manly things when he is with you. Talk and be honest with him in you words and in your deeds, in what you do and what you don't do. My sons liked and still do like, music, shooting sports, archery, hunting and fishing. camping and motorcycles, general aviation etc. Have you thought about bowling, how about teaching him how a man should eat, stay fit, and perhaps dress and even have proper hygiene? There is a lot that young boys learn by what we say, but mostly the learn by watching us. Enjoy what you have with your son. Your days are not a know quantity. Moreover women can make you MORE lonely. Another woman would only serve to split your son away from you. Have you ever thought of that? My Jeezus, I would not allow that to happen.

ImmortanV8 · 2021-06-08T00:26:44+00:00

How often do we feel down on our knees, not knowing how to go on? Life is a hallway where you enter through the door of birth, struggle for a time, and then leave through the door at the end. If you continue to do good in your capacity then any life you live will be a success

me-dgaf · 2021-06-08T06:57:08+00:00

Find a purpose. A man should be more than just a slave to support the plantation.

NoSignalCharlie7954 · 2021-06-08T00:35:09+00:00

Some of your post just doesn't make sense to me:

I’m 41 now and have been on my own for 2 years

I have a son, he is 9 now, and he has never known his parents to be together.

I had a great life for the first 39 years

doesn’t seem to be a lot for a man to do that doesn’t revolve around a family or working to support a family.

You and your son's mother have not been together, so what "family" have you been working to support?

Were you living with your parents for the first 39 yrs and now you're finally out on your own?

baulrog76 · 2021-06-08T00:59:44+00:00

Sounds like Your just starting to burn out from the solitude it happens

bamabeatsny · 2021-06-08T11:32:26+00:00

Check out this site - https://www.artofmanliness.com/

YES, I realize there are several articles about keeping a thriving marriage and such - the owner of the blog is married - but, there is lots of information and ideas to help men. Skills men need, and need to teach their sons. Books that a man should read. Inspirational articles. Ideas for adventure. There's a LOT there.

MotorAggressive5115 · 2021-06-08T08:05:00+00:00

You have to find a social outlet because yeah we all feel lonely (although not as much as women because they require feedback and validation). A lot of people complain they cant make friends because of the internet well not in the old way where people left their apartments because all there was to do in there was read but with the internet you can find likeminded hobbyists locally and start going to their events etc

hell fake a drug or alcohol addiction and go to substance abuse meetings, churches (so many freaking churches you can turn the heat up and down in terms of the intensity) boys and girls club mentoring volunteering

and then the occassional sex worker or tryst or f buddy and mgtow it baby

AriaEarthMars · 2021-06-08T08:36:50+00:00

camping, projects, science museum trips. show him how the world really works.

nigelh · 2021-06-08T17:12:55+00:00

You need to get some OW items going then you discover why MGTOW is so good.

Currently you are just sitting doing nothing so the draw of the Plantation is strong while I am frustrated that I'm having such fun on the things I'm already doing that several of the things I really wanted to try are slipping out of reach. I've already had to admit that I'm too old to break into base jumping now.

velvetunderground111 · 2021-06-08T17:44:14+00:00

I felt this after six years of being on my own and began dating a 29 year old at 40 who I wasn't even that into. I just felt like I was wasting my life away, so I jumped back into dating. We had some "ok" times, but it's not the same when you get older. It's not like when I was 26 and dating a 21 year old. She was hyper focused on her career, couldn't hang out much and was kind of a drag to be around. Not very fun. So I dunno, you aren't missing out on much. We made it two years and it was honestly kind of "meh". Spark was not there.

Reddit1984Censorship · 2021-06-08T18:27:46+00:00

You will feel much worse with a women leeching your soul.
Freedom is beautiful.

FanofLemmy · 2021-06-09T04:25:13+00:00

Go buy a motorcycle. Easy fix. Trust me.

Its better to be living alone on the corner of a roof than in a house with a quarrelsome woman - from the Bible or some shit and I'm paraphrasing

Highflyer147 · 2021-06-08T04:36:25+00:00

I’m 29 and I’m in the same boat but without a kid. I’m starting to wish a had a son to hang out with. Biking, camping, shooting, learn how to hunt, help toying around with cars. Ask what shit he wants to do & do stuff that he genuinely is excited about and that will make you excited ! Get around it mate 👍🏼💪🏼

yogurtboi69 · 2021-06-08T03:54:03+00:00

If it were me in your situation, I think I'd feel useless because the woman I had a child with is with some other dude. I'd feel like my attempt at a family had failed and I'd been "replaced" in some sense.

I know a guy with a similar story to yours, except he's older. His demeanor is that of a man adrift. I think this can be somewhat alleviated by finding a new woman. Many here will hate that advice, but my view is that we are naturally programmed for this. Some can overcome the programming and that's great, but most cannot.

Title	Anyone feeling empty and pointless?
Author	grover997
Upvotes	0
Comments	25
Date	June 7, 2021 11:33 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/nuqtp9/anyone_feeling_empty_and_pointless/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/anyone-feeling-empty-and-pointless.781396 https://theredarchive.com/post/781396

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