I need advice. What would you do? *pregnant

I’ve been following fds for a while, love it - But you know I’m human and prone to a few slip ups, well 2 months ago I had a one night stand with my ex, (we have a 4 year old daughter together) great father, shit partner. narcissistic, very toxic. I don’t want a relationship again with him, but I was feeling you know h*rny that weekend so ya know I called him up , come over!

Anyways - this is where the story gets messed up.

One of the reasons we broke up, is because when we were together he forced me to get multiple abortions, birth control doesn’t agree well with my body and he was very bad and refused to use condoms most of the time.

So anyways during a relationship of five years, I had 3 abortions to him, (plus our daughter - she was our first pregnancy) I also had one miscarriage - that was the last pregnancy, that one I decided to keep the baby because I was tired of aborting and I felt guilty and wanted the baby, he told to abort but I said no, long story short I ended up miscarry at about nine weeks so I have to get a D&c to remove the baby, as it didn’t pass naturally. I was so upset. I felt I deserved this for killing my other babies. The guilt killed me. Then something even worse happened during the procedure to remove the baby due to my miscarriage the hospital accidentally perforated my uterus causing extensive scarring. After that I stopped getting periods, I just knew something was wrong with me

We broke up shortly after that…

Fast forward a year and a half later I was worried about my body and the non-return of period so I started seeing a fertility specialist even though I was single because I wanted to know my options for the future as I have always pitching myself having a big family.

I was told I have Ashermans syndrome (scarring on the uterus) and unless I have surgery to remove the scarring or did IVF it would be practically impossible for me to get pregnant naturally again. I was gutted. (Felt I deserved it cause I wasn’t strong enough and aborted my other babies cause of his pressure)

Anyways a few weeks ago you guys know I had that one night stand with him, I don’t know how but I’m pregnant . I’m in complete disbelief I can’t believe this. I think the fact I recently lost 80 pounds helped?

But anyways now I’m pregnant, he’s telling me to abort and in a way I’m kind of conflicted. Having another child to a LVM. Gross.

I can’t believe I’m put into this position but I caused it myself - if I have a termination I could probably never get pregnant again in my life- but it pains me to be a single mother to 2 to a man I will never have anything to do with like that again. Another child growing in a broken family I have the financial means to take care of another child but it irks me to have another tie to him.

Fds I’m conflicted help me. If you were me what would you do?