When you look at people in happy relationships, don't you feel like you're settling for less?

spoofedcat · 2019-10-29T19:21:00+00:00

No. I feel that what I see is only the surface, and beneath all that apparent "happiness", I know that probably there's a lot of ugliness.

tellmetogetoffthepc · 2019-10-29T19:46:18+00:00

I duno man. I keep denying myself pleasure. Like I do no fap, workout etc. I’m doing it for delayed gratification but I don’t know really why yet. Life is just weird

Bloodrain_souleater · 2019-10-29T19:03:56+00:00

Most relationships and I mean like 90 percent of the relationships, the man is unhappy, the woman is unsatisfied . There are a few relationships where the partners are happy but in most cases the honeymoon period is over and the people just cannot stand each other.

White_Mlungu_Capital · 2019-10-29T21:46:30+00:00

A relationship is always good, until it isn't. At some point you will always face a fork of

Do what she wants to keep her happy
Do what you want to keep you happy

No matter what you choose, the long term end result is the same. She will grow resentful of you. Choose 1 and she will resent you for having no spine. Choose 2 and you are controlling selfish asshole. Either way she will leave you or drive you away. Better off just accepting the relations are temporary.

liberamesse · 2019-10-29T21:53:53+00:00

When you look at people in happy relationships, don't you feel like you're settling for less?

Absolutely not. Freedom always beats modern relationships. I love not having to deal with a woman on a permanent basis or having them encroach on my free time. It's liberating having complete control over how I spend my time and not having it disrupted by the concerns of a woman.

It's hard to tell if a man is in a genuinely happy relationship unless you know him intimately and there is no reason to think that he wouldn't be even happier if he were free of that relationship. I don't envy any man in a permanent, monogamous, relationship. That's for the dogs and an inferior option to being free.

Master_Golan · 2019-10-29T22:03:06+00:00

No it can’t be a lasting thing in today’s society, it’s an impossibility & I’m speaking from experience.

I was that guy that had that relationship & I happily lay that life down to Rest In Peace

ulgulanoth · 2019-10-30T04:03:49+00:00

Those in "a good relationship" are only in the honeymoon phase, that always ends, then the fighting begins and it's all downhill from there

krenovinspired · 2019-10-30T00:23:57+00:00

I don't compare my insides with other people's outsides. I'm happy where I'm at, and don't need to change it.

Impossible-asset · 2019-10-30T15:06:23+00:00

Answering your questions in order.

I do not think there is any real comparison except that relationships demand that you give up more than you get.

No, I think mgtow is rather UN-compromising. I get to do what I want when I want how I want to do it and use all of my assets and resources to make it happen.

I chose to be mgtow because I have seen the aftermath of marriages and divorces and the destruction it can do to a man. I avoid relationships because I've seen what happens to men in either becoming "yes, dear" castrati, or recipients of crazy girlfriend drama. No thanks. I'll keep my freedom, independence, and money to use and enjoy how I see fit, while making it all work better for me. When I need a woman, I rent one for a few hours and I'm good to go.

GlassCommunication · 2019-10-29T21:23:33+00:00

When I see people in a happy relationship I am truly happy for them. It certainly takes time and effort from both parties to bring such a thing to fruition. I also see the opportunity cost the man paid. Good luck with the self-mastery bit when your energy is directed outward. But that's just what happens when I judge other on my values.

Coping with what? Loneliness ? Once I saw what i was capable of in solitude, I began to crave it. I cannot wait to get home from work to actually work on something I care about. This project requires solitude and soon enough I won't have to work for someone else.

Direct the energy you're wasting on observing "happy" people toward yourself.

get disciplined -> become self-aware (why are you the way you are) -> self-actualize.

N: So You're saying I can cope and live with with loneliness? M: No N, I'm saying that when you're ready; you wont have to.

Jake4523 · 2019-10-29T19:22:27+00:00

Got asked this today by a co worker. My reply was; "I don't want to try, why? What are they offering to me? What are they going to bring to MY table? Are they going to build me up? Are they going to support me when I'm down?" Followed by "The last time I was with someone they left me when i needed someone the most, so what do they offer me?" It is as simple as that.

trseeker · 2019-10-29T20:00:57+00:00

"Happy relationships" are short.

Why exchange long-term health, stability & growth for temporary hormonal "happiness," instability and loss of resources?

RedPillMissionary · 2019-10-29T20:16:50+00:00

Lol, yeah, until I talk to the dude privately and he tells me how miserable and broke he is.

bambambam10 · 2019-10-29T20:40:14+00:00

Some people only seem happy, but you don't know what's going on behind closed doors. A couple that I used to be friends with had what seemed to be a "perfect" marriage and I always praised them for being a great power couple. Inevitably, she ended up being a cheat and broke the marriage up, surprise, surpise. Appearances are not what they always seem.

I don't compare myself to others to validate my feelings, but I've also experienced being in an LTR and cohabitating, and as awesom as the "free" sex was, it was 100% miserable when you have to bend over backwards or get into petty fights for stupid reasons. The double standards, hypocrisy, and the lies, and mismatching promises to the actions just really wrecks you inside. I still don't understand myself why it hurts in the chest when it should hurt in the brain when a bad break up occurs or is incoming. All those bad feelings, I'd much rather have peace of mind and less sex. Unfortunately, if you're longing to experience the nuances of being in a relationship, you'll never know what it's like unless you do it, even if everyone tells you it's not worth it.

At this point, I don't feel like it's coping or settling, I really choose to be alone. Independence and freedom are way more valuable than any relationship can offer. When I see posts about men asking their wives for permission, or when I see my friends do the same thing, I just feel disgusted and sorry for them. How can a man be reduced to asking his wife to use his own money he earned. That's a grade A loser to me.

If you think you can do better than most men and lock in a relationship that will stay "good" until you die, then I say, good luck to you sir. I don't believe there is such a thing, and most MGTOW believe the same. That's why the term unicorn exists. Nothing good lasts forever, and all good things come to an end.

csehszlovakze · 2019-10-29T20:40:59+00:00

No. I've been there multiple times, and it always turns to shit. The same goes for anyone I know. Even if a couple stays married, they are always miserable in one way or another.

LetsGoAllTheWhey · 2019-10-29T20:43:05+00:00

When I was in a barber shop last week, the barber finished cutting a guy's hair and asked him how he liked it. The first words out of the customer's mouth were "What do you think, honey?"

No thanks. Not in this lifetime.

901735 · 2019-10-29T19:14:01+00:00

Yup. Less drama. Less wasted time pushing the shopping cart. Less volume. Less demands. Less irrational shaming and blaming. I'm missing sooooo much in life. Less of her "exciting (her) company" after I leave after the coffee in the morning. Yup, less.

[deleted] · 2019-10-29T20:54:22+00:00

[deleted]

AnotherPhilosopher · 2019-10-30T15:16:20+00:00

Locked.

Guys we don't need to dwell on uncertainty of relationships we start heading down the road of negativity. It's up to every man as an individual to find what works for them in regards to relationships.

Title	When you look at people in happy relationships, don't you feel like you're settling for less?
Author	IncelandrosOfAthens
Upvotes	2
Comments	41
Date	October 29, 2019 6:49 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/dou9h4/when_you_look_at_people_in_happy_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/when-you-look-at-people-in-happy-relationships.811872 https://theredarchive.com/post/811872

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