Any day now!

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-07-19T19:17:04+00:00

The point of marriage isn’t to endure it. There is no prize for making a miserable marriage last a long time. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership cemented by attraction, affection, respect and love that you enter into to make it easier for both of you get through life together. It’s like you become a team of horses, and you both help pull the wagon, and it’s easier with two than with one. But being yoked in a team with a partner that isn’t pulling is worse than having no partner at all. Sometimes you have to give up on her. Not because you don’t care, but because she doesn’t.

jimsmythee · 2021-07-19T15:44:01+00:00

I was in the same boat. Not married to an alcoholic. She was (and still is) a pill popper of narcotics, muscle relaxers, mood stabilizers and sleeping pills. But she always had valid prescriptions. Her addictions made it so that our whole lives revolved around her; her 10 different doctors, ER visits, pharmacies, Urgent care, and the disasters that happen when she gets behind the wheel. We had been sued multiple times because of those disasters and that led us to bankruptcy and almost losing everything. In the end, the final straw? The hail-mary pass that got me out? She got pinched on a felony DUI because the kids were in the car when she crashed while driving high as a kite. As soon as she took the DUI conviction and did her jail time, I filed for divorce.

We had 2 things we argued over. I told her, "I don't want to be financially responsible for you and your disasters anymore." In more or less words, she told me, "Even if we are divorced, I want you to be financially responsible for me and my disasters forever." She was expecting to be given everything in the divorce -- full custody, loads of alimony and child support, the house, my car. Hell she even expected me to pay her $7500 in DUI fines, because she put them down as a "marital debt."

It's been 4 years post-divorce decree and in the divorce she got $0 alimony and I got 50/50 custody, and I kept my house and my car. All she got was half of my 401k. She's destitute now, living with her parents. She had a 6 month marriage that no one thought was going to last. She doesn't work, as there's no job she could do while in that fog of pills. She has no friends, as they all couldn't deal with her anymore.

All I can say is -- File for divorce now. She may be a functional alcoholic for now. She can probably drive and hold down a job. Give it time. They all become dysfunctional addicts. But when the disasters hit (and give it time, they will start happening), they're not going to come after your wife with their hands out, expecting to be paid. They're going to be coming after you, with their hands out, expecting to be paid.

CoachBob19 · 2021-07-19T16:15:27+00:00

What are you afraid of losing that is still important to you?

pegleg_legal · 2021-07-20T03:34:31+00:00

Like so many bread crumbs, leave a path of alcohol for her to follow out of your life.

Title	Any day now!
Author	fatherofamazinggirls
Upvotes	9
Comments	14
Date	July 19, 2021 3:18 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ong4r1/any_day_now/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/any-day-now.816468 https://theredarchive.com/post/816468

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