Dating

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-03-17T10:59:26+00:00

Dude, you're one blow job away from clearing out closet space for a woman. You are super vulnerable right now to a predator and need time for reconstruction.

Read this about post-divorce dating. It's the most useful info I've come across in the 3 years since I divorced: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=81647

LongTimeOn · 2021-03-17T13:54:43+00:00

Seriously dude, just stop dating women for a while until you get your head straight. It's clear you're still hurting and if you continue you're going to end up in a world of hurt, either by getting a date pregnant or getting some form of false accusation against you. You are clearly co-dependant and need some counselling to learn to live and be happy on your own before you even think about a LTR.

Sandylees · 2021-03-17T13:46:04+00:00

You need to be by yourself for a while and be happy in your own company. Have all the fun you want as long as your honest, but make sure you're careful and don't create a baby while you're at it or you'll have many years of regret.

rsmiley77 · 2021-03-17T16:17:59+00:00

I agree that everyone is different but I am of the opinion you probably need to slow down on your drinking, dry out for a bit, and allow yourself to move on from your past. Of course I don’t know you and may be 100 percent wrong.

tikias · 2021-03-17T08:08:48+00:00

Wow when I clicked on your post I was ready for a adventure romance novel than it fizzled out into a realistic buzzkill. Sorry brother that's a long time marriage to die. Yeah really sorry. I thought about going the route you have chosen but instead I have taken the no blame no drugs or alcohol no rebound love affair only reality which has been very depressing I have been neurotic and ah just fucked I didn't want to blame her or take a negative view nor have I any relationship with her so whats done is done I don't even see her or any talk at all I figured I wanted to feel it all and I hoped get over it fortunately we had no children so easy to never see each other again so it has been about a year I moved out when the pandemic began into a lonely craigslist add for a room I went against my normal routine and talked or told people about my biz briefly and gradually I began to be able to communicate without feeling like I'm going to have a crybaby tantrum or something now almost a year later I feel like I have a lot of love in my heart and still some sadness but very doable smile a lot now days the gym has opened up recently here in the pacific northwest and also I'm going to start running daily again as I have added 40 lbs being a dumb dumb depressed guy for a year so getting back to life I guess just now! but it has taken a year. I hate to say this not trying to be a jerk maybe that is your personalty and how you deal with shit but if I did what you have done I would consider myself sort of hiding out and avoiding the whole drama and heart break. I mean on christmas I was pretty depressed and alone I watched the movie "Nocturnal Animals" & it is a fucked up movie about O teaser alert here !!! it is a dude that writes a novel about murder which is really a story about his break up from a women it was violent and and just fucked up but it made my day because I thought wow somebody takes heartbreak like I do so I might not be neurotic sloppy mess that will never heal ha yeah so no parties no lovely ladies just this long dark road. It all seems like the hard part is over now though I still wonder how I allowed myself to be in the situation I was just in but I have told myself it was my first marriage and I was a apprentice so it was a learning experience. The lady told me how she loved me forever and all this bs so quickly I was shocked and I told myself if she keeps this up for a year I'll believe she can do it and marry her to me I thought of it as just making a commitment and putting in the work because I have love and humor and all the extras to make it lovely so when she kept up the act for a year I says to myself maybe this is how all the little round married people talk to each other I mean I don't no from experience so I rolled the dice and invested it all even started to believe and I liked having someone to give my love to and think about. I don't want to be dumb again but fuck it gotta go all in or whats it worth? SO I don't no you brother but in case it helps you might want to try to just feel it alone and not be to hard on yourself.

Jonger1150 · 2021-03-17T14:50:24+00:00

Everyone is different. I started dating after separation and already have a steady girlfriend. My separation from the ex-wife (15 years) started in September.

I was the one who pulled the trigger on the divorce, so it wasn't shocking or unexpected, I just really wanted a better relationship.

My situation, I'm tall and probably an 8 or 9 for my age (41).....so I can bang whatever I want...but I really wanted a relationship. Life is boring alone unless you have a lot of friends, which I don't have.

BeardLife4ever · 2021-03-17T13:49:02+00:00

"Little round married people", made me smile. Like Weebles,

NohoTwoPointOh · 2021-03-17T16:58:30+00:00

Counseling/Therapy.

Learn why you don't know how to be alone first...

rickyspanish12345 · 2021-03-21T05:18:02+00:00

Idk what these other guys a thinking. I say you keep plowing away and enjoy yourself. Everyone is an adult and women aren't stupid. Have your fun bro. Good for you!

Title	Dating
Author	Atkinson2554
Upvotes	13
Comments	12
Date	March 17, 2021 7:20 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/m6uq43/dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dating.817319 https://theredarchive.com/post/817319

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