I am not able to cope for some reason lately. 42m, divorced a year, separated for 2.5. I don't love her or miss her, but I am so angry at her, I am so angry that she did this, I am so angry she might be with someone else now. I am so angry and because of her I now simply cannot trust women. My good friend who's been through this was so right. He said that the most decent, sweet, and loving women can absolutely destroy you. She did and I am. No kids, but a ton of pain. I was doing just fine. Trying to get in shape, eating healthy, gym, hiking, taking care of my soul and just loving myself, but I can't let go of the anger and I can't put an end to this irrational resentment towards all women. I seriously do not trust any woman right now besides mom, grandma, and sister. They are different type of women and I simply don't meet these type of women in LA. I was born in Central Asia (white guy), very cultured, not stupid, good career, witty, intelligent, can hold a conversation on almost any subject, a gentleman, and good looking from what I have been told by many. But I simply cannot make myself date Western women these days. After a few dates and almost having to stick two fingers in my throat to puke, I realized that I just can't date these women. There is something seriously wrong with them. I've had much better luck dating non-American women and I now finally have some sense of reality where I understand that not all women are that bad. Anyway, I am just lost because I have so much anger from the past and I just want to heal. I want to move on, but I can't. I am absolutely alone. All my friends are married with kids and all these other people who I thought were friends are actually random douchebags. I value my friends and I am generally very grateful, but I am absofuckinglutely alone and I am having a hard time coping. I am literally afraid of losing my mind because the loneliness deafening. I am not afraid to die. I am afraid to continue living like this. If not for my dog, who is my everything, I wouldn't be here most likely. I am not a religious person and don't believe in any type of clairvoyance nonsense, but I wish someone could tell me that things will be better down the road. I can't take this anymore. I am really afraid my mind will snap. I've already barked any various women, who were just being total bitches, but I should have kept my cool. I am not violent towards people, I am just tired of being this. =\
Sorry about the rant.
TLDR: Can't get over my divorce and my ex walking out, and it's causing me to be irrationally angry at all women. I don't believe women at all anymore, but I also don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. I am tired of the pain
[–]4agreements 10 points11 points12 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nonamesfound 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]icanbreatheundrwatr1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
You need to stop thinking so much. Live in the moment. Meditate. This time on earth is fleeting. Sometimes sooner than we think. Don’t waste your time with anger or the past. The past doesn’t exist anymore. And your feelings are all manifested by your perspective; that doesn’t make it factual in the least. Externalize these emotions and let them pass as well. Stop spying about the future or what your friends have or how little friends you have; none of it matters. Seriously. None of it. Just be here now, appreciate that you are here now and enjoy the fact your body works and you are still here experiencing this wonderful adventure.
[–]shjo3024 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Enlightened-Soul 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ast01004 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ast01004 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[+]felyasocal1 points [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link
She didn’t cheat. She walked out because of hard times. I had the worst couple of years of my life. We were together for 7 and after three years together everything fell apart. Death, loss of job twice, patents, and serious health issues. After things normalized I started to rebuild my life, but she wasn’t willing to try. It was easier for her to betray our wedding vows and just walk away. I tried to reason and obviously it’s useless. I am trying to meet new people/women through hobbies and activities, and even thought I grew up in US I always had a hard time finding common ground with Muricans. Our mentality is just so different. Plenty of American friends in my life, but on an romantic or intimate level I never could connect. My ex from the same culture as I am
[+]icanbreatheundrwatr1 points [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
She gets that choice and that is fair. Stop expecting someone to live their life for you. Stop having so much intention with people and stop blaming them for not sacrificing their own life for you; not everyone has to stay and it doesn’t make them bad for leaving. Respect that autonomy.
[–]ikubyo 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+]dazedANDconfused20201 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
This guy gets it. Marriage has failed in America because of selfish, warped, perverted, immature, people.
[–]ikubyo 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]dazedANDconfused20201 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
It’s actually not fair. Once you marry someone, you give up a part of you. Why? You have asked them to do the same. You don’t get to just choose a different path anymore. Vows are vows. And what divorce is, is betrayal. Marriage is meant to be permanent. A union of two people.
Your warped view of love and marriage are why we have a 50% divorce rate in America.
[–]SilverGraphSurfer -2 points-1 points0 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[+]icanbreatheundrwatr1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I agree with you. There are some bitter people on this thread. This mindset is the exact reason divorce is often pursued most often by women. What a fucked up mindset. Like once you marry, fuck your life, dreams, goals and happiness, you’re fuckn married and that’s the end all, be all. Screw that.
[–]SilverGraphSurfer 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]durvtho 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nonamesfound 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SilverGraphSurfer 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[+]felyasocal1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Nah. I don’t need to call. I am not a danger. I just need to work harder to move forward. Take a chill pill friend. I am sad, but I’ll get over it. Time heals and I’ll be fine. It’s just painful.
[–]SilverGraphSurfer 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sadkratom 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link