California divorce

miniyodaz · 2020-01-11T04:45:09+00:00

In California too, was married for 15+ years and ex wife had an affair too and served me the papers. Like you I was the bread winner and over time got a good career going on.

Unlike you we had no kids, and after 15 months at a settlement meeting with the judge we came to an agreement where I only pay her a total of 4 installments (one installment a year) and I am done dealing with her. Of course we had to split all my accounts and savings. So she did get a good chunk but the most important for me is that now 3 more payments to go and I am totally done with her. Already now she can’t get any of my new income : left my previous job to accept a big promotion (higher salary, more equity, big sign on bonus), and it was great to know she will get $0 of it, and not even a small % of my new salary.

She is ending up with a good amount but I know that in 5 or 6 years from now she will have spent every $$.

Karma has already hit her in her face since her bf broke up with her, and since then has been in limbo while on my end I did end up meeting an extremely gorgeous and extremely intelligent woman (a medical Doctor), and we are definitely a great match when compared with my ex. Oh and she is 10 years younger than my ex too: did I mention she is not only intelligent but extremely beautiful to the point that many people in stores or in the street ask often if she is a model. So despite the initial divorce was a mess with me and my head, she granted me my life back in a manner I was never expecting: not only I am happier but in addition I have lost over 50 pounds.

Final advice : get a good lawyer and try to stick with him/her up to the end. It will cost you less than switching lawyer.

lemmingsrevenge · 2020-01-10T21:59:25+00:00

The threat is the biggest thing facing you right now. Start talking in text. If you can get her to threaten to kick you out with a false DV charge then things swing. Get a lawyer, try your best to lose emotions. Get a therapist so you have an emotional vent. Don't worry so much about how bad she's going to screw you, ex's tend to spout all sorts of veiled threats but reality is far different. Alimony isn't guaranteed, and lifetime isn't after 10 years despite what people say. It's all a formula that takes into account a great host of factors.

In the interim get a lawyer, think about a custody schedule. Gone are the days where mom gets everything. Also be on your best behaviour. don't yell, threaten, or even touch her.

Brokenbyher2019 · 2020-01-10T21:52:56+00:00

Not a lawyer- but if it goes to trial then yes. If you can work something out with her in mediation then that is up to you. Likely you will pay it.

Now, if later she re marrys then you have to file a motion to reassess spousal support.

If you lose your job, do the same so you can reduce your obligations.

Lastly if she gets a good paying job, you can motion also to show courts she is fine... and no longer needs support, unlikely but possible.

Best advice really become familiar with ca family laws and speak to an attorney.

XJR555 · 2020-01-11T07:47:54+00:00

She might even have waited for 10 years to guarantee that you are given a life sentence of payments so she can milk you fully.

Treat it like you’re at war and suggest you lawyer up quick.

SpearCatcher1 · 2020-01-11T22:56:31+00:00

Lawyer up. Collect evidence. I know somebody said treat it like going to war, and I get that, but I would say make it your job: get a lawyer who is determined but dispassionate and follow everything they say methodically. You can win.

Talubaty · 2020-01-10T21:33:46+00:00

Get her to marry the John she's whoring around with. That sucks.

Title	California divorce
Author	Talubaty
Upvotes	5
Comments	13
Date	January 10, 2020 9:26 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/emxh7s/california_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/california-divorce.818794 https://theredarchive.com/post/818794

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