Good morning/evening, gentlemen. I hope all of you are doing well today.

I'm newly subscribed to this sub, and have read most of the sidebar in the last 48 hours. I've been considering an aspect of my relationship in regards to red pill ideology, and would like to know what you guys make of it.

Hypergamy. It's spoken of quite often in the manosphere at large as well as this sub. I've gleaned that it is a feminine trait that basically leads women to always be looking for the "bigger, better deal"...A richer, more attractive, higher ranking, or more alpha man to sate her need for constant improvement of her lot in life via her mate. I do not deny that the majority of women do indeed display such characteristics in one form or another. However, I disagree with the assertion that AWALT (namely that all females have a degree of hypergamy, not just it's use as a generalization...that part is obviously needed for regular conversation).

The only evidence I can present is purely anecdotal, as it is myself, but hopefully this will be enough for further discussion. Some quick background:

I am a 31 year old white woman, never married, and childless, both by deliberate choice. I have a consensual N of 1, my 46 yr old boyfriend of 10 years who was a good "just friend" for 2 years before that. Unfortunately, my true "first" was forced upon me by an uncle at age 9...such is life for some of us. Anyway, I still love and cherish my boyfriend exactly the same as I did a decade ago, and cannot imagine that changing unless I, idk, get a brain tumor that fucks up my core personality. My guy and I do not live together because of the cohabitation laws in our state and my dislike of the inequality of modern marriage. He also got a vasectomy 14 years ago, so we've never had to worry about any accidental pregnancies/need for abortions.

We share many interests, including comic books, videogames, novels, miniature painting, boardgames, and cooking. (First met at a local comic shop.) He is a Christian, I am an atheist. We're both what you might call "purple pill", but he is newer to the concept than I am, as he was previously a feminist. Though our careers often force our schedules into conflict, we still do our best to have sex and hang out at least once a week. Our finances are entirely separate except for when we go out for dinner, in which case I always pay. Otherwise, we go dutch. Health/body wise, I'm a 5'7" curvy size 6 shorthaired blonde and he's 6' silver haired 265 lb. I do a 30 min exercise routine every weekday morning, he does not work out at all. This is pretty much how it's always been.

In all these years, I've had innumerable men ask me out. Many were customers of mine from when I worked retail, though some were strangers from the tea shop, grocery store, library, or comic conventions. Based on their manners of dress, more than half were very well to do, and a very good amount were more conventionally attractive and physically fit. However, I always politely declined, as I already have a man in my life that is my treasure. As I've always reasoned, it is the height of folly to give up a good, safe, caring, boyfriend who treats me as an equal for an unknown man who may be either abusive or pedestalizing.

Is this ever present natural contentedness I have the reason behind the utter lack of hypergamy I experience? Is it the fact that I left my abusive home at 16 and had to make it on my own what enables me to truly appreciate the love of another person? Mostly importantly to this sub, can such contentment be made to grow in other women without subjecting them to any form of suffering? It would seem that if there was a method to cultivate true mutual admiration between partners, it should be found and expanded upon. This would be a great help to all the men who have been forced to Game their female companions in order to continue the relationship, rather than creating a sanctuary from the world.

Men of TRP, what do you think can be done?