I don't know if this is the right sub, but I can't handle the role I've been put into.

steadymotion · 2013-11-04T15:17:52+00:00

He's your boyfriend. You're not married, meaning you have made no promises to stick with him and support him no matter what.

You're only enabling his bullshit by not dumping his ass.

You're 23, meaning you have 2 years (on average) before your sexual value begins to go down. Don't waste time.

sugarcrush · 2013-11-04T15:56:13+00:00

First of all: you were not "put into" this situation. You put yourself into this situation. You are a big girl and can take responsibility for it.

What do you want out of your relationship? Yes we prefer the traditional model of relationships here with the man leading, but that doesn't mean we are all June Cleavers. Myself and others have full time jobs and are just as red pill as those of us who stay home. Do you want to be the stay at home wifey type? What is he looking for in his relationship, does he want a stay at home wife?

Don't just quit your job though, at least not right now. Credit score is incredibly important single or married and being unemployed is pretty much a one way ticket to debt city.

I think you need to stop enabling him to be lazy and get his alcohol use under control before you make any major decisions. Maybe a month or two to pick up a part time job and get the alcohol out of the house or seek treatment if it's that bad again?

Whatever you decide remember that youth is fleeting and don't waste the pretty.

margerym · 2013-11-04T19:56:41+00:00

First off I agree with what people have said here. Dump him.

I'm trying to be supportive and make him feel like he's a "man", but honestly he kind of sucks.

So dump him.

He doesn't make any money, he doesn't contribute jack-shit, meanwhile I work between 40-60 hours a week and then I have to come home and cook and clean. I'm the man and the woman and I have this bum of a roommate that lives rent free.

So dump him.

Reading your post and your responses you are either 1) a troll or 2) have no idea what TRP for LTR is.

If the latter let me address a few points you are missing about TRP for LTR:

So you guys are apparently into stereotypical gender roles. Should I just quit my job and make him figure it out and be a stay at home wife type?

Traditional/natural gender roles =/= being a Stay-at-home wife or mother. This keeps getting throw around and we keep correcting it. There are women here that work out of the home, women that don't want to be mothers, etc. You don't have to quit your job to be a Red Pill woman.

It'd be a nice vacation, sitting on my ass all day (it's not like it takes that long to clean the place and cook dinner- maybe 5 hours total).

LOL If you look at homemaking as being a "nice vacation" you've never actually done homemaking. It's more than just throwing together a few meals and vacuuming. It was once and still is an art form and a science. If you want to excel at it, anyway. If you want to just sit on your bum and eat bonbons after wiping down the kitchen counters and throwing in a Lean Cuisine that's something else, entirely. Your stance on staying home says a lot about how you feel about home and work. These are things you need to fix about yourself if you want to catch an alpha. Work ethic. It's more than bringing home a bunch of money, it's excelling at what you do no matter what it is.

Actually after looking around at the viva la manosphere shit, I don't think this red pill stuff is really for me. I took the "dating worth" test and apparently I'm not attractive enough to get a man. So what's the point?

You have no idea what Red Pill is if that is what you have gleaned in your skimming. But I can't blame you one bit for that. Just take a look at 99% of our trolls and snarkers and you'll find people that have skimmed one part of the Manosphere and think they know it all. It's easy to do as the Manosphere and the Red Pill in general can be hard to navigate. Rest assured the trolls and snarkers and you are missing some key points about TRP and the Manosphere.

As Tempest already pointed out there is the PUA part of the Manosphere that is only interested in pumping and dumping. Ignore them. You are looking for an LTR (long term relationship) not for a guy to screw you and move on so what they have to say isn't really relevant. That datable quiz? It's half BS half useful. My husband doesn't find the women that purports to be the male ideal actually ideal, either. First off, every man has different tastes. Secondly, when looking for a wife/LTR there is more than just looks involved. That quiz is useful in that it helps to understand that 1) looks matter and 2) caring about your looks matter. But it really is that simple. All the other stuff is what some (maybe even the majority) of men find attractive. It doesn't mean all do, it doesn't mean there isn't more to it, it doesn't mean if you fall off that list's good graces you are a lost cause.

The Red Pill for women is also that simple. In no particular order:

Sex matters. Have it. Change it up. Don't restrict from your partner.
Looks matter. Don't let yourself go. It sucks for all involved if you do.
Work ethic matters. Be willing to do what you do to the best of your abilities. Take pride in what you do.
Your relationship and man matters. It comes first. Not career, not your looks, not your friends. If you want your relationship to work it is priority.
Let your man be a man. Men are shamed for being masculine in our society. Don't be that girl. Let your man be a man, don't emasculate him.
Femininity attracts masculinity (and visa versa). It's okay to be a girl. A feminine girl, even. It both attracts and brings more masculinity out in men.
Gender roles have been around for as long as they have for a reason. This is where him being Captain and you First Officer comes in. This isn't the same as being a slave or the like. First Officers have a say, they are invaluable to the "ship", etc.

That about covers it. Of course Red Pill Wifey hit it out of the park months ago. TRP boils down to embracing masculinity and femininity as naturally prescribed and traditionally accepted to enhance ourselves, our lives, and our relationships. Full stop. What people do with that knowledge is something else entirely. Some use it to both gain and enhance relationships be they marriages or just long term commitments. That's what this subreddit is about as well as some of the Manosphere blogs. Some use it to snatch a one night stand and add notches to their bedpost. That's what TRP subreddit is generally about and some of the Manosphere blogs. You aren't going to get an accurate picture of TRP in an LTR framework by skimming TRP in a bump-and-dump framework posts and blogs and visa versa. For information on TRP in an LTR framework check out our resources side bar. I highly recommend Married Man Sex Life and his books.

TempestTcup · 2013-11-04T17:13:20+00:00

He is not going to change. If this is what you want to commit to, then have at it, but remember, you will have this EXACT relationship for as long as you are with him.

Commonsensical22 · 2013-11-04T18:50:04+00:00

Get out and run. I was married to this man, he even stayed sober for 3 years and went back to school. Things got a bit rough for both of us at work last year and the marriage ended with him quitting his job and binge drinking during the day while I was at work. I should have ended things years ago but gave him chance after chance to change. He did, but it didn't last and I doubt it ever will.

I'm 28 and thought I was doomed, having no real dating experience and nearing the wall. But I lost weight, started working out more and eating better, and learned through many online dates how to have decent girl game. And finally I have met an amazing 35 year old man who is everything I could have ever wanted. I too thought all the good older men were married, but there are some out there who just haven't found the right one and are still waiting.

You are only 23, don't make the same mistake I did by staying with him hoping he'll turn into the alpha male you want. You can't force it. It will be hard being alone for awhile, but once you start dating after that you will have more confidence. After my divorce I felt worthless, but soon realized it was my ex who had lowered my value. You are worth more than you realize, and very valuable for having RPW ideas. If you want to talk or have questions, Feel free to PM me.

secularist42 · 2013-11-04T15:39:50+00:00

First thing a Red Pill man has to be is credible. Your boyfriend is showing a good bit of immaturity and a lack of responsibility...therefore not credible, therefore not RP.

Early to mid-20's you're going to run into this...often men, including myself don't get our shit together until out late 20's or even early 30's. If you are looking for long-term and serious, you might need to date a bit older to find what will satisfy those RPW desires properly.

2013-11-04T17:47:40+00:00

he is just a boyfriend you ARENT MARRIED...this is the time you leave, not AFTER youre married

killabee88 · 2013-11-04T19:01:35+00:00

Can I just say kudos for being young and having your shit together? I aspire to be like you, minus the bummy boyfriend. (I mean this as a compliment)

2013-11-04T23:35:43+00:00

This is why I talk about salary and stuff. It's not being judgmental, it's the sad truth that love doesn't pay the bills.

And I personally don't think anyone, man or woman, should provide financial gifts to their partner. unless they are married. It's one thing to support your husband through grad school-- the life you spend together will be benefited since your incomes will be combined. But it's another thing to do that for a boyfriend. Five years down the road you guys might not be together.

2013-11-04T21:33:55+00:00

The guy is a loser.

2013-11-04T15:24:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

CptDefB · 2013-11-09T15:12:24+00:00

Random Male's PoV:

I don't think this guy understands how good he has it. If I understand correctly, this guy is basically a stay at home dad with no kids. Yes, he has school and stuff but... what other responsibilities are there?

He doesn't make any money, he doesn't contribute jack-shit.

Sounds like barely any responsibilities at all.

If I had a woman paying my way, the house would be pretty decent once she got home. Spend one weekend getting everything looking proper, maintenance of 1h or less every other day and then I get to do whatever the fuck I want because my lioness goes out and brings me food. Lions have it very good, and they know that. Lions do not fuck this up. I use this analogy because gender roles are cool and all, but you'd probably be surprised how many men would be willing to take up the stay at home dad position these days.

My suggestion, since you are basically the source of money, is to act like the Man. Tell him you have expectations, and that you expect them to be met. Like... what is his situation again? His girl is younger, richer, working her ass off, and is hopefully not bad in bed. What room does he have to argue your expectations? Yeah yeah, love and so on, but you said it yourself, he kinda sucks.

If he can't see where he's at, and at least put effort into making your life easier (because relationship, right?) then do what any self respecting individual should do; make your own life easier and ditch him.

MdPhdVictor · 2013-11-05T02:17:21+00:00

Get yourself a Doctor (wink)

Title	I don't know if this is the right sub, but I can't handle the role I've been put into.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	23
Comments	67
Date	November 4, 2013 3:12 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1pvm0c/i_dont_know_if_this_is_the_right_sub_but_i_cant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-dont-know-if-this-is-the-right-sub-but-i-cant.84036 https://theredarchive.com/post/84036

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