Hello! I'm new here and very happy with what I've seen, but I have a few questions if that's alright

[deleted] · 2013-11-14T21:05:05+00:00

to be 22 and not be able to secure even the most nominal pretense of commitment from a man you want doesnt bode well for your imagined "monogamous" relationship when youre even older and have had a few more weiners in you

sugarcrush · 2013-11-14T19:40:56+00:00

Personally I don't think the male domination aspect has to carry over to the bedroom, although it often does. If you both enjoy switching, then switch.
I strongly believe that (in general) sleeping around has negative effects on long term relationships. There are people who are exceptions to this, but unfortunately there is no way of knowing if you are one until it's potentially too late. I can tell you right now that you won't find much if any support for you being in an open relationship as a woman. So, I just wanted to give you a warning in advance that you are going to get some harsh words thrown your way. Develop thick skin if you haven't already.

Anyways I'm happy you enjoy our little community here and I hope you stick around despite your differences!

anotherthrowawaybiff · 2013-11-14T20:33:42+00:00

Dude here, with a question for OP - When you're in "dominant mode", which are you more turned on by, a completely submissive man or a dominant man that you somehow have under your power?

The reason I ask is that wifey and I enjoy some kink too, where I am the dominant one about 80% of the time and she switches when the mood strikes her. This often involves "ambushes" where she will sneak cuffs onto me or something similarly sneaky. We've talked about it and she tells me that what turns her on is having a strong, dominant (I really fucking hate using the term "alpha"), generally in-control man suddenly under her control. That what excites her as much as anything is knowing that if I got loose, I'd have her down on the floor pinned and probably getting some very fun "payback" :D By contrast, she is totally uninterested in submissive men.....She doesn't want me to willingly offer myself or ask for "punishment" or any of the typical sub male things. Which I wouldn't do anyway because I'm just not wired that way (I don't understand men who want to be spanked and such).

I thought this was an interesting perspective from her because it seems to me like she still wants a "masculine" submissive instead of a feminine submissive, even when she's in control - That a big part of the turn-on for her is being temporarily in control of a stronger guy. It made me curious about the mental dynamic going on with women who prefer more submissive men, and what they're getting out of it and why.

I hope the above makes some sense. Don't think I've worded well today.

steadymotion · 2013-11-14T19:18:11+00:00

This is women's spot to discuss objectively and realistically sexual strategy with the focus on long-term goals that bring long-term happiness.

If you believe your strategy is going to bring you happiness in the long-term, or if you believe it won't but you're looking for a strategy which will, then you're in the right place to have a discussion.

FleetingWish · 2013-11-14T21:04:17+00:00

As far as I know there's no elements of the red pill that talk about what should turn you on in the bedroom. More what should turn you on in terms of social dynamics.

I also don't see anything particularly anti-red-pill about open relationships. A lot of trpers have more than one partner. It's not really that common with rpw, but as long as you respect his decision on who you can sleep with, I see no reason why it shouldn't work. But, I don't really have enough information about open relationships, and the conditions for which they work, to know for sure. Not enough data points.

calliethedestroyer · 2013-11-14T20:27:16+00:00

We really have to rewrite that welcome message

TempestTcup · 2013-11-14T20:44:29+00:00

opening up the relationship was in both of our interests

I read the 911 Relationship ER on MMSL, and it is pretty enlightening as per open relationships and swinging. Usually they tend to cause problems, but not always. Personally, I think that when you introduce another person into a relationship, they generally become a wedge and break the relationship. But that's just me and I am absolutely not an expert!

[deleted] · 2013-11-14T21:18:15+00:00

I think the most important thing is to ask yourself what you're looking for in your relationship with these men - what are your long-term goals with them?

At your age, a lot of what you learn and grow accustomed to in your relationships will affect you for the rest of your life. It is easy to get into habits with relationships, so as someone who is obviously introspective, I believe it's important you try to make sure you're building the type of relationships that are going to serve your life goals in the long run, and to be learning the relationship skills you will need to attract the type of partners you want to be with for the rest of your life.

If you want to have a monogamous relationship with one of these guys down the road, you need to really consider whether you are acting in your best interests by setting the standards of your relationship this way. If you are just looking for fun (or if you're filling a void in your life), you may want to ask yourself if you may be driving your life in a direction you don't want to go.

As long as your actions now are a reflection of your true desired outcome, and you are moving you in the direction that you believe will make you happy, I believe there is nothing wrong with being in a mutually respectful relationship where you both feel like you are getting what you want.

MrsStrom · 2013-11-16T18:31:38+00:00

BDSM wife here, specifically: Stepford wife/slave/masochist. Hubby is Dom/Ward Cleaver.

I'm not sure RP has a stance on poly relationships because we're not exactly a unified, homogenous group. So these are MY PERSONAL responses, not meant to represent RP or BDSM.

Switching/topping can be fun. And even my Dominatrix friend enjoys being topped and being submissive to a strong enough Dom. Really, I think she'd enjoy being submissive more often if she hadn't married a bottom/sissy boy. She's very high strung and the only time she really relaxes is when she's subbing.
Poly relationships are very difficult to manage. That's not to say they aren't possible. Mr. Strom and I occasionally have third party play partners, but no SOs. Truly poly situations require a ridiculous amount of communication and trust. And even then, I'm not sure they work. We're biologically wired to develop feeling for whoever we're having orgasms with. It can get messy.

Also, IMHO, too many partners (for women) can cause attachment issues. The alpha male high is addictive. You'll never forget the first time you lose yourself in his charisma. I've had many firsts with Mr. Strom and I'm glad all those memories are with him, and not some ex-boyfriend. Even when Mr. Strom is away for work, the ghost of being fucked silly lingers all over our house- even when I'm not ovulating. I crave him like a smoker craves one more cigarette. I'd hate to have that with a man other than him.

TempestTcup · 2013-11-17T01:26:33+00:00

Let's break this down, shall we?

Hey! My name's Hanna, I'm a 22 year old woman living in the UK. I've been reading TRP for quite some time and just recently discovered that there's a version for women -- awesome!

I'm 22 and have next to no life experience! :) LOL! Sex is fun!

I agree with pretty much everything here, but I was wondering if I could ask a few questions just to clarify some things that I'm a bit hazy on (sorry if this isn't a suitable post here, just let me know and I can delete it if so).

Super, go for it.

First of all, what's TRP's view of sexually dominant women? I'm in the BDSM scene and while I'd call myself a switch, I definitely lean towards the sadism/domination side. Can that correspond with a redpill lifestyle? If so, how?

We really don't have any rules here for what happens inside a monogamous relationship.

Secondly, I am currently in a polygamous relationship with a very alpha man (though he loves me hurting him in bed, heh) who I really enjoy spending time with. We had a serious talk and decided that as long as we both have veto power on our "other" partners, opening up the relationship was in both of our interests. While this was per his request I am very satisfied with it. What is the RPW view on open relationships from the woman's side, so long as she is 100% honest with all parties and everyone consents?

He is bored with you. He wants a more exciting partner, but he's not so bored with you that he is setting you loose. He's looking for a more exciting partner while still fucking you until he finds one and then you will still continue on as one of his plates.

He is fine with you fucking other men because he has absolutely no feelings for you.

Those are pretty much the only things I wanted to clarify. I love that this sub exists and I look forward to meeting you all!

Smooches! You should hang at /r/TheRedPill because there are plenty of fellows there who would love to have you in their rotation!

luscious_lannister · 2013-11-14T21:02:03+00:00

you didnt really actually read one particle of any red pill material, did you?

Title	Hello! I'm new here and very happy with what I've seen, but I have a few questions if that's alright
Author	luscious_lannister
Upvotes	5
Comments	60
Date	November 14, 2013 7:10 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1qmt8n/hello_im_new_here_and_very_happy_with_what_ive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/hello-im-new-here-and-very-happy-with-what-ive.84049 https://theredarchive.com/post/84049

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