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New Subreddit Rules

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April 13, 2016
9 upvotes

Since we've taken a new direction for the subreddit, it makes sense that we should outline some new updated rules to govern the discussion here on RPW. These rules will always be available on our Participation Rules page, which is also linked in our sidebar. I will post them here for convenience.

PARTICIPATION RULES

Rule Zero: Stay On Topic

This is a spot for like-minded Women to objectively and realistically discuss sexual strategy. Content therefore must serve for the benefit of women. Anything deviating from this goal is off topic.

Male-centric advice is not permitted.

Do not give advice to women which is primarily intended to benefit men, or is based around male desires without considerations for women's desires or goals. Male users will be scrutinized more closely for compliance, but this rule applies to both sexes.

All posts and comments must be in good faith.

All information you choose to give about yourself and your situation must be true.

Hypotheticals for discussion are allowed, but must be clearly stated as such, not presented as a real situation. All requests for advice must be made with the actual intent of receiving helpful information, and all advice must be given with the actual intent of helping the person requesting it.

Recently created reddit accounts will be scrutinized very closely for compliance.

Do not insult the community or its members

The community values truths, even harsh and unpleasant ones, over pretty or comforting lies. However, this is not allowed to cross the line into personal abuse, either of individuals or directed towards the community as a whole.

You may (are encouraged to) call others out for bad or foolish behavior when you do so with the intention of helping them to realize their mistake and do better. However, harsh speech motivated by personal rancor, or direct insults for any reason, are not allowed.

Strategies should be from a Red-Pill Perspective

Strategies or discussion of actionable advice requires either a thorough red pill rationale or must be backed by currently existing and accepted red pill theory.

Strategies for securing no-commitment sex from men will not be discussed. This is not only incongruent with the desires of the vast majority of women, it is also so easy to do that no "strategy" is required.

See a Note on Plates.

No Feminism

This is an anti-feminist community, and as such, we are not interested in being "saved" by feminism. Anybody stopping in to weight-in with the feminist perspective will be shown the door, as it is off topic.

This is NOT Purple Pill Debate

RPW does not exist to justify our beliefs. If you have a problem with this sub, its overall mission statement, or any of the users on this sub – move along. We are not going to engage in useless debates.

No Concern Trolling

Concern trolling is the act of complaining or attempting to gain the support of others by appearing to have the best interest in the subreddit in mind, hoping only to change small details ("it's too xyz," "can't we just"). Concern trolling is banned because it can be used to derail the topic of discussion, and in itself does not add to the quality of discussion.

Guidelines for Asking Relationship Questions

If you are asking a personal relationship question, please provide context by updating your flair, and answering:

  • What is the problem, and what do you think is the root of the issue?
  • How have you contributed/attempted to mitigate the problem?
  • What is your current relationship status?

Be honest with yourself about what background is needed to help the community answer your question. Withholding information doesn't make it less true or relevant. Include the state of your sex life.

Posting Requirements

Please make sure not to post a wall of text. Familiarize yourself with reddit formatting and use linebreaks properly.

  • Poorly spelled, formatted, or capitalized posts will be removed.
  • No inter-reddit links. Use Archive.Today
  • If you post a link or video, please elaborate with a discussion on the content.
  • Low effort posts will be removed.
  • No memes or image macros.

Post Information
Title New Subreddit Rules
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 9
Comments 21
Date 13 April 2016 03:55 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit RedPillWomen
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/86117
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4em77o/new_subreddit_rules/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
platethe purple pillthe red pillfeministfeminism-pill
Comments

[–]FleetingWishEndorsed Contributor7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Does this mean the "man here" rule is no longer a thing?

[–]redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whoops, oversight. Will re-add that to the line up.

[–]SkylarWyte13 points14 points  (19 children) | Copy

Do not give advice to women which is primarily intended to benefit men, or is based around male desires without considerations for women's desires or goals. Male users will be scrutinized more closely for compliance, but this rule applies to both sexes.

Great. So are you going to show us that this is true and we can feel safe in this space and supported by you and the mods by deleting Whisper's comment here, where he tells women they have no choice but to be plates? ('The question isn't the whether you are ever a plate... that's unavoidable.')

That is obviously not true, as many of the women around here, myself included, have never been plates. I'm LDS, and sex before marriage was not an option for me or my husband, so saying being a plate is 'unavoidable' is simply factually inaccurate, and spreading ideas like that around only serves to help men who want to trick women into being plates by telling them it is the only way to get commitment. What possible benefit could lying to them about how being a plate is 'unavoidable' provide to women? Absolutely none. It's advice designed to benefit men at the cost of women.

I really hope you will prove to us that you actually have our best interest at heart by taking action on this matter. Whisper's advice hurts women. We see those studies about how much harder it is for high number women to pair bond. He is lying to women and saying they must do that to themselves, ruin their bonding ability, because there is "no other way." Frankly it's shameful.

[–]redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm away from my computer at the moment so I'll weigh in tomorrow, haven't had a chance to read this thread you linked to.

The short answer is I agree, being a plate is neither advantageous nor inevitable.

I'll follow up tomorrow.

[–]SkylarWyte5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you. I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to consider the issue :)

[–]CrazyHorseInvincibleModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (15 children) | Copy

"I don't like this."

is not the same as

"This is damaging."

I've read the linked article, and it's clear that two of you are using different definitions of the same terms. Now, the term "plate" might rub you the wrong way, but when he says

Even if he wants a relationship as badly as you do, it takes time to build.

and then says:

So, at risk of arguing semantics, "plate" isn't a status you avoid altogether. It's a danger zone you get out of as quickly and irreversibly as you can.

and then says:

Now, deliberately staying a plate, well, that's insane. Women who do that are working against their own long-term happiness, and it doesn't make any sense to discuss that here, any more than it makes sense to discuss tactics for how to shoot yourself in the foot.

He is clearly talking about something different than being content to be a fuckbuddy.

His language may not have gone over well with people, but I am not comfortable removing stuff based on tone when it is neither a personal insult directed at anyone, nor an insult directed at anyone in the community. The problem with censoring tone is that not only does it remove things that shouldn't be removed, it also causes people to self-censor, because they fear rubbing someone the wrong way.

We are here to stop people from giving advice in bad faith, not from having disagreements or arguing semantics.

Feel to state your disagreement with him, and/or downvote.

[–]SkylarWyte19 points20 points  (14 children) | Copy

His language may not have gone over well with people, but I am not comfortable removing stuff based on tone when it is neither a personal insult directed at anyone, nor an insult directed at anyone in the community. The problem with censoring tone is that not only does it remove things that shouldn't be removed, it also causes people to self-censor, because they fear rubbing someone the wrong way.

"Lie" is a not a "tone." Whisper presented being a plate as a necessary step to building a relationship that all women must endure. And that is simply untrue. If it were true, my marriage wouldn't exist because we never went through a "casual no strings attached sex" phase.

Even if he wants a relationship as badly as you do, it takes time to build.

So, at risk of arguing semantics, "plate" isn't a status you avoid altogether. It's a danger zone you get out of as quickly and irreversibly as you can.

Now, deliberately staying a plate, well, that's insane.

I didn't think he meant women should aspire to be plates. What he is saying is very clear... There is no way to build a relationship without being a plate for some period of time. It takes time to get to know a man, and build a bond, and during that time you must be having sex with him. That's not true. Nor does it help the female sexual strategy to spread that lie around. It helps the male sexual strategy, because women will submit to being plates out of a false belief they have no other options.

[–]LuckyLittleStarModerator | Lil'Star-1 points0 points  (9 children) | Copy

What he is saying is very clear... There is no way to build a relationship without being a plate for some period of time.

Even if he is saying that, I don't think it is against the rules. If you read the linked article it states:

Although commitment-free sex for women does not require much in the way of strategy, commitment-free sex may very well be part of a strategy.

Plate theory is allowed, as long as it with the intent of serving a long term goal. If Whisper's comment was:

There is no way to build a relationship without being a plate for some period of time.

He is saying in order to get a relationship, you must be a plate first. If you disagree with him, you are free to rebuttal this, using logic and rational thinking. If you disagree that this is an appropriate strategy, tell him, so that other users can be well informed. This is now a place where there is an exchange of ideas, and disagreement isn't silenced, but rather discussed. The intent of this is to foster a learning environment, so people can be presented with both arguments.

[–]SkylarWyte20 points21 points  (8 children) | Copy

He is saying in order to get a relationship, you must be a plate first.

Exactly. He's using his respected position of authority to tell women there is no way for them to avoid being plates, which is promoting male sexual strategy to the detriment of the women here because what he is saying is simply not true.

There is no need for logic or rational thinking to refute the claim that all women must be plates to secure a partner, just eyes! There are so many women here, myself included, who have never been plated. Unless you are trying to say that on my wedding night I was my husband's plate, lol.

If he were saying something like that a woman who has already given herself to a stadium full of guys before she finds the pill might have to work her way up from plate, and providing her with tools to do that, that would be discussing plates in a way that is beneficial to women. Claiming that all women MUST start as plates is not that. It's a lie, that promotes male sexual goals to the detriment of young women. That is damaging to them. Because of what I already said, about pair bonding. It's taking a woman who has not already given herself to too many men, and convincing her she must if she wants love. A really old, sad trick.

[–]redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Claiming that all women MUST start as plates is not that.

I think the miscommunication here is suggesting that he's prescribing platehood rather than analyzing the beginning of relationships. Perhaps there's a better word for it than "plate." Early-relationship risk is what he's describing.

I understand your position and I tend to agree, if there is a way to secure commitment without having sex, this is a valid and less risky approach. It obviously worked well for you, and for many others. This approach puts more risk on the man than the women. (which an optimized sexual strategy for women should do).

The reason there's even a conversation taking place is that there is some debate here about how much of the risk will need to start to shift from men to women as the market changes, and I think that's what Whisper is getting at, certainly he is not saying women should strive to become plates- nor would that topic be allowed on this forum.

That is damaging to them. Because of what I already said, about pair bonding. It's taking a woman who has not already given herself to too many men, and convincing her she must if she wants love. A really old, sad trick.

This is absolutely why there's such a risk involved. I agree entirely.

I'm going to make it clear here and now that Whisper's approach is clearly more about asking the questions than it is actionable advice right now, and that as a subreddit we don't have an official position on what he's saying, rather we're welcoming him to continue the discussion so that some answers can be found.

The lesson we learned on /r/theredpill was that sexual strategies of years past no longer work today. What worked for our fathers don't work for their sons. What worked even ten years ago seems to have changed. Feminism is changing the landscape in ways we can't completely measure today.

Sex without commitment is risky and a bad idea for women.

To compare to the male side, a majority of our options are risky and bad ideas for men. Increasingly so compared to the options of our fathers. The discussion must continue to evolve.

We're learning now what needs to be compromised to find success, and what doesn't.

[–]SkylarWyte13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy

I'm going to make it clear here and now that Whisper's approach is clearly more about asking the questions than it is actionable advice right now, and that as a subreddit we don't have an official position on what he's saying, rather we're welcoming him to continue the discussion so that some answers can be found.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I appreciate that. I think I would have more faith in this if he seemed to be listening and adapting his opinion based on what the women in that thread are telling him, but he's not. I decided to look through his contributions to this sub more last night, because CrazyHorseInvincible said Whisper has "known intentions, with heavy investment in the community" and I thought maybe knowing more about Whisper would change my mind and help me understand his true intentions towards us. What I found did not make me feel any better. Specifically, here he says:

"Keep in mind that I don't really have any particular need for this or that woman to learn anything.

That's up to them.

They can either learn what men like, and have husbands, or rationalize and have cats.

I'm just here to say what I have to say, and it don't make no nevermind to me.

It's very hard for me to believe we are really trying to find some answers when he is convinced his path for women is right, and he simply dismisses any disagreement.

I think that maybe with my religious beliefs this community is just no longer a good fit for me and that's OK! No hard feelings. It's the nature of change :-) I do believe that both an examination of the hard facts of what works out well for women, and my religious beliefs align, but with this direction towards letting men come in and say being a plate is unavoidable... They just don't anymore. But I do sincerely appreciate you taking the time to look into the issue I put forward, thank you.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think that maybe with my religious beliefs this community is just no longer a good fit for me and that's OK! No hard feelings. It's the nature of change :-) I do believe that both an examination of the hard facts of what works out well for women, and my religious beliefs align, but with this direction towards letting men come in and say being a plate is unavoidable... They just don't anymore.

There's a difference between allowing men to post here, and endorsing what they say. In this case, Whisper is not an Endorsed RPW contributor, so his contributions should not be considered an official stance of the sub.

The widening of acceptable content for this forum gives us many interesting avenues for discussion and exploration, and I hope you'll continue to share your thoughts here :0)

[–]SkylarWyte4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

In this case, Whisper is not an Endorsed RPW contributor, so his contributions should not be considered an official stance of the sub.

I understand, thank you. That is good to know.

[–]redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire[S,M] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think it's a bit of a stretch to expect a forum that welcomes both religious and non-religious views to be discussed to cater strictly to only one of those views. Your views are more than welcome, but we won't be silencing people who don't break the rules simply because you disagree.

I'm sorry if you feel that means you should go. For the record, anybody else reading this- her views and viewpoint are more than welcome and should surely be discussed.

[–]SkylarWyte7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it's a bit of a stretch to expect a forum that welcomes both religious and non-religious views to be discussed to cater strictly to only one of those views.

Oh yes, of course! Sorry if you felt I was saying the community should change for my religion, I absolutely do not believe that.

[–]WhisperTRP Founder3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't speak for the community. Not here, anyway.

This community is, in fact, still finding a consensus, after most of old mod team left. (RPS wouldn't let them use mod tools to promote a monoculture anymore.)

Sounds like you were upset because you felt like policy was being dictated to you.

I'm not a dictator. I'm a theorist. I'm doing R&D.

The only thing I willing to say for certain right now is that traditional conservativism is almost certainly not the answer, because it collapsed. That's why we're even having this conversation.

So the question is, how do women survive in the rubble?

At this point, I'm tossing out hypotheses for others to play with. That's how we start.

[–]CrazyHorseInvincibleModerator[M] -4 points-3 points  (2 children) | Copy

"Lie" is a not a "tone."

Now that borders on personal insult of another user. Be polite.

Whisper presented being a plate as a necessary step to building a relationship that all women must endure.

You interpret what he wrote as "You must provide NSA sex, then build a relationship."

It can also be interpreted as "when you are in a new sexual relationship, the level of attachment is low, and this is platelike, regardless of what both people call it".

I come to this conclusion by reading his other comments in context.

I'm not comfortable removing material from a user of known intentions, with heavy investment in the community, because there is a possible negative interpretation of what he said. I am not looking to turn into the old mod team, banning people for unorthodoxy. There would have no reasonable positive interpretation of what he said for me to do that.

I am NOT going to assume someone is acting in bad faith just because he has a penis.

[–]coffeedynamics-7 points-6 points  (1 child) | Copy

If women from this sub are downvoting this, can you explain why? This sub was just reopened to allow free discussion of RP ideas without being confined to a singular perspective or set of goals. Even if some RP guy was to come here and say that all women should be plates and never ask for commitment, would that be so bad? Who cares as long as we have the space to discuss and question different ideas? If he is wrong, why not explain why instead of requesting thay the comment be deleted? Girls, I don't get you right now.

[–]CrazyHorseInvincibleModerator[M] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, I can't do too much opining, since I am a mod.

But "taking the red pill" means accepting unpleasant truths, and that's not easy to do. A lot of people come to red pill subs with the idea that it's about getting things. Whisper is telling them that the world now is a tougher and riskier place for them than it was 50 years ago.

No one likes to hear bad news, and blaming messenger is easy.

Unfortunately, if getting what we want didn't involve pain, we would already have it. Are Whisper's ideas useful? Not for me to say. Mod. Neutral.

But anything that is useful, whether it's him or someone else, is going to be hard to hear, so people are going to have to get used to that.

[–]coffeedynamics0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think he was just saying that there is always a grey period at the beginning of a relationship when the woman is vulnerable. She is not entirely sure if she can trust him yet. You disagree with this?

[–]SirNemesis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just wanted to say the new rules are great!



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