How to Not Get Mad When He Doesn't Want To Spend All His Time With You

jeezydasnowman · 2016-08-16T00:56:23+00:00

Either be needy and turn him off, learn to compromise your needs for delayed gratification, leave him for a more needy man (ugh), or get your own friends/life to where y'alls time apart isn't wasted.

Aholahi · 2016-08-16T01:44:24+00:00

Sometimes I imagine a super glamorous woman (Marilyn Monroe comes to mind) and ask myself, what would she do? Would Marilyn (this is a bad example, there's better role models but let's go with it) be super clingy or would she have her own interests and keep her man's attention in other ways...IE, stay fit, stay on top of your appearance, stay up on current events, etc...that usually helps me pull back a bit and cultivate my own life. After all, the kind of man you want, wants a woman that is interesting & has her life together, not someone that exists just when he's around. For example, if I'm getting that needy feeling, I ask myself, what would you like to do? And then I go do that, whether that be time with friends, shopping, cooking, or just relaxing. Sure enough, husband will want to spend time soon, but everyone needs space. I myself LOVE reading. I bought a new book light and started checking out books at the library again (free, so no excuse not to). When hubby goes off to play video games or makes plans with his friends, I'm off to get lost in a good book and really? I love that time alone now. It's a special time for me to focus on what I want and what makes me happy. What do you like to do?

sharontravels · 2016-08-16T04:20:09+00:00

In the beginning of my relationship, I was super clingy and would actually start crying if my SO left. He would invite me to do things with him, but I didn't want to do them. He, understandably, started getting very frustrated and angry. One day, it sort of clicked in my head what I was doing. I started to see that I was being really selfish and insecure. So whenever he went out with his friends or went to see a scary movie (I get bad nightmares, so I can't watch them), I would make plans to do other things. We have planned time during the week where we do stuff together. We use a calendar to visually see when is me time and we time. I hope that helps.

Whisper · 2016-08-19T20:01:36+00:00

The first thing to do is ask yourself why you want more time.

Insecurity about attachment? Feeling like this automatically means a strong relationship? Loneliness? You're an extrovert and he's an introvert? Doubts because he looks like he wants to be somewhere else?

Bring your captain your problem, not your solution.

I want your time is your solution. What you need to do is figure out just what problem it is you are trying to solve with that.

[deleted] · 2016-08-16T06:47:04+00:00

I feel this way a lot of the time as well, but when he's already giving you a lot of his time it's important to recognize that. What I've been trying to do is dedicate more and more time to my hobbies and interests. Sure I'd rather have that time with my SO, but I'm learning to feel less and less clingy every day. I hope you can find renewed interest in your own hobbies as well or pick up a new hobby. Good luck to you! (:

gimmealldemcats · 2016-08-16T12:33:36+00:00

Maybe try learning a little about his hobbies and interests, and let him know u find his hobbies interesting and ask him questions about them and im sure he will be more inclined to wanna include u in his 'alone times'

jb_trp · 2016-08-16T17:04:21+00:00

Why do I feel that if he did spend more time with you, you'd feel "suffocated" and "turned off?"

I know in reality he makes a lot of time for me and that oftentimes I take up most of his free time

So he already makes a lot of time for you, and you take up most of his free time? No wonder he wants to have more of a balance and to hang out with his guy friends.

Honestly, I think in a LTR the woman shouldn't be the man's top priority. Top three, yes, but what's his mission in life? What's his number one goal? You should be along on that journey. You can't be his top mission, because that can go sour pretty fast.

Mentathiel · 2016-08-17T11:58:24+00:00

I have this feeling sometimes and I've told him about that, but I never express it.

First of all, being empathetic helps. You know your guy and you know how much he ravishes in other activities and you know it's good for him. He's not doing them instead of you, but alongside with spending time with you. It gives a healthy balance to his life and you should remind yourself it's something to be happy about.

Second of all, you're clingy because you don't have things to fill your own time with. Find hobbies, work on yourself, meet friends. Check out this week's weekly challenge. The more things you do, the less time you have to think about what he's doing and whether or not he enjoys it more than he enjoys you.

Third of all, if you're young, give it time. Young women can have these clingy feelings, especially if they've recently started sexual activity with this man. It doesn't necessarily stem from insecurity, you're a hormonal mess right now and seek security and affection instinctively.

Title	How to Not Get Mad When He Doesn't Want To Spend All His Time With You
Author	cclgurl95
Upvotes	16
Comments	17
Date	August 15, 2016 11:52 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4xwl5f/how_to_not_get_mad_when_he_doesnt_want_to_spend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-not-get-mad-when-he-doesnt-want-to-spend.86391 https://theredarchive.com/post/86391

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