My efforts are proving futile. It's so tiring.

NittanyLioness84 · 2017-02-10T02:35:15+00:00

Welcome to dating :)

You might have to weed through a lot more...candidates to find your man. Stay focused on the prize.

You are only 22 and are not running out of time, so don't let that make you compromise your standards. Enjoy this part of your life, because this will make your LTR so much better when you find him.

Happy hunting!

teaandtalk · 2017-02-10T04:25:32+00:00

Online dating has two components:

Vet, vet, vet. If you have dealbreakers (which you do), include them in your profile. No point in meeting inappropriate men when there are lots of things you can screen out in your initial interactions online.
Numbers. There are a lot of people online, and it's hard to know whether you have chemistry with them. So yes, you're going to have to go on more dates. Day-time dates can be a good way to keep things relaxed, and possibly discourage some of the guys who are interested in getting you straight to bed.

But seriously. You're 22 and you've had two bad dates. Chill out.

VigilantRedRooster · 2017-02-10T02:47:40+00:00

I'm 22 and feel like I'm running out of time.

It's good that you're aware that time isn't unlimited, but you're not going to expire like milk at 22.

He ordered one drink and then said it was nice to meet me

Sounds like a proficient RP dater interested in plates and ONS, not a relationship. It's good that your vetting processes stopped things here; improving your dating funnel will help unqualified guys drop out sooner, ideally before they even approach.

he proceeded to ask me my religion and I told him I'm Christian. He then informed me he believes all religion is bullshit.

Again, this can be screened for, before he even approaches. This is one of the powers of online dating that many users leave on the table. Some people make short, vague dating site profiles for maximum responses, then find themselves spending their days and nights dating people who turn out to be poor matches in serious ways. This is easy upfront, but loads the back end with a lot more work, effort, and frustration.

My own approach is to front-load the work of the dating process by making a longer than average, and very specific and polarizing dating profile. This results in a small number of very well matched, very interested responses.

I resorted to online dating. I met two guys who seemed decent online.

It's not only acceptable, but I believe mandatory to include significant boundaries in your dating site profile. Spin them as neutral/positive attributes, not a long list of disqualifiers. Discerning and self-aware is good; the appearance of impossible expectations not. For example, you might include Christian, looking for a serious relationship/marriage, and a few other things in this vein; as opposed to "You must be a god-fearing man, NO PLAYERS move on if you just want a hook up!"

testmypatience · 2017-02-10T06:42:54+00:00

Atleast buy me dinner jeez.

You are owed exactly nothing. Being bought something from anyone is because they want to, not because you have earned it or are deserved it by existing. To feel so entitled is repulsive behavior.

Goodfortune20 · 2017-02-10T07:43:29+00:00

I don't know how old they are but try to aim a little higher in term of ages. Between 24 up to 30 (if you're comfortable/attracted to those ages).

Older men are already more stable financially and have already had a lot of years to go wild so they'll be more inclined to settle down.

Personal opinion of course because you'll still meet older dudes that just want to rack up their numbers with girls on their 20s.

Plus that's so rude of the guy to bash your beliefs. Chivalry these days u.u

Kiddingyoself · 2017-02-10T03:44:56+00:00

It's all about numbers. You need to just keep dating, and I think you should put your religion on your dating profile. Better yet, have you considered a Christian focused dating site? You might have an easier time finding guys who aren't looking for one night stands.

For what it's worth I am very happily married, been with my husband for 10 years, and if I just do a quick count in my head I think I went on about 25+ first dates that had no second date because I wasn't interested. In addition to those first dates I also had one high school bf and one college bf. I still ended up meeting my guy at 21, and I honestly believe it's because I was super open minded when it came to first dates, but also really quick to vet guys and not waste time on second dates if I wasn't into it.

It sounds like you're already great at vetting, which is half the battle, now you just need to keep doing what you're doing. Go on a bunch of dates and just know that most guys aren't Captain material. It takes time to cycle through the duds, but you're doing it right! I'd also consider not outright saying you want a relationship unless you're propositioned for something physical, telling someone that on a first date without provokation can read a bit desperate.

[deleted] · 2017-02-10T21:08:46+00:00

Online dating is not the issue. That guy was going to be that way whether you met him in person or online. There are lots of good men trying online dating. You shouldn't get discouraged from finding a good one just because the bad ones are in the way.

frpilled · 2017-02-10T05:37:12+00:00

Well at least you know what you want and have good boundaries! I think that is a really positive attitude to have actually! It just means you have higher standards, so it will take more time to find the special person...but once you do, your'll be so much happier for not just settling down or fucking around with time wasters.

Also like others say, its dating, so enjoy the dating while you can! Even if you have a shitty experience, at least it'll be a fun story to tell your girlfriends later :)

[deleted] · 2017-02-13T14:17:40+00:00

Oh love, you have plenty of time ahead of you. At 22 you should be vetting these guys thoroughly - and making sure that you choose someone who aligns with your values. I went on so many dates before I met my current bf - and it was always difficult because I just wasn't interested in these guys...until I was!

There is a pot for every lid and you have plenty of time to find your lid. Dating is a numbers game - don't give up after just 2 dates!

a5aprocky · 2017-02-10T12:46:45+00:00

Well, religion is bullshit...it's 2017 not the 12th century

Title	My efforts are proving futile. It's so tiring.
Author	missjulie94
Upvotes	6
Comments	21
Date	February 10, 2017 2:06 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5t4kkg/my_efforts_are_proving_futile_its_so_tiring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-efforts-are-proving-futile-its-so-tiring.86947 https://theredarchive.com/post/86947

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