Throwaway account.
We've all been seeing the recent craze of DNA testing and whatnot, so my dad and I decided to jump in the bandwagon and we bought 2 from 23andme. We got our results back a few days ago and I went into the DNA relatives section to check out my matches. At the top it listed my dad as only sharing 29.2% DNA with me and being predicted to be a half-brother, which is impossible. This didn't make sense to me since we also shared a paternal haplogroup and we just look so alike, so he was definitely my father. My cousin also had taken the test a while back and she shared 24.6% with me, also predicted to be my half-sibling. We're supposed to share around 12%, being 1st cousins.
I couldn't think of a genetic relationship that would explain what I was seeing and I had doubts in the accuracy of the percentages, so I made this post on r/23andme, asking for help. Basically, the shared percentages are extremely accurate and highly unlikely to be false. The only realistic explanation for what I was seeing was that my uncle, my cousin's father and my dad's brother, is my father. Reality hit me in the face like a flying bag of bricks. All the dots lined up and I felt a sense of loss. I sat in my room for an hour just in shock and then I had a feeling of anger come over me. I needed some fucking answers.
Without even thinking, I rushed out of my room and confronted my mother downstairs. My mom is a business women and is often away on business trips. She had no idea my dad and I had done one of these tests since she was away on a trip and just got back. My mother and I never had a 'traditional' relationship. She was always focused on her work and my dad ended up mostly raising me.
My irrational self didn't even sugar coat it. I asked her if she cheated on dad with Uncle David (name changed for obv reasons). I have never seen the color drain from someone's face so quickly. She looked dumbfounded and then mumbled "What kind of question is this? Of course not." I told her everything; the test, percentages, DNA matches, ALL OF IT!! Shit hit the fan. My mom fell to the ground crying, begging me not to tell dad.
I left her there and went back into my room. I called my cousin (now half sibling) and told her everything. She ended the call screaming. Dad (now uncle) then came home and stumbled into my room asking what's wrong with mom. I told him everything too. He didn't say anything after calming down. He left the room and I locked the door.
For the next few hours, I heard my entire family fall apart outside my door. My parents got into a heated argument and my grandparents rushed over to see what was going on. My aunt in law and David showed up shortly later and I'm pretty sure I heard my Dad and David get into some physical fight. Utter chaos.
I feel like fucking shit. Ik it's not my fault but I can't help feeling that this is all because of me. If I had spent my fucking birthday money on something else, none of this would have happened, but another part of me is glad to know the truth. I'm too scared to go outside. I don't even know what the outcome was. The only noise I hear in the house now is the occasional sobbing coming from my mother, and I sure my dad is out of the house. Fuck my life
TLDR; Mom and uncle, both having spouses of their own, fucked, made me, and proceed to not tell anyone. I take a DNA test 19 year later and it all comes crashing down. I've locked myself in my room and I'm pretty sure my family has ceased to exist outside
UPDATE: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/bbcqlk/tifupdate_by_destroying_the_entirety_of_my_family/
[–]Fuckoff555 22 points23 points24 points (2 children) | Copy Link
Man I really feel for the father, poor dude, after all those years he got the news that the kid that he raised for 19 years is not really his child. Paternity fraud is probably the most MRA's issue that I empathize with.
[–]mgtowolf 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah that could be me. Not the wife fucking brother part, I don't have a brother. Getting the snip saved my ass though lol.
[–]destarolat 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Not only that, but that the genetic father is his brother. Betrayed by your wife and by your brother...
It is life changing.
[–]SC2sam 14 points15 points16 points (2 children) | Copy Link
Honestly it should be a legal requirement to have a DNA paternity test when ever a birth certificate is created. No more fraud and forcing men to raise other people's kids bullshit.
[–]gbBaku -3 points-2 points-1 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Part of me agrees, but that's a lot of wasted tax money.
[–]JustHereForTheSalmon 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
If there's anything worth paying for in a society, verifying lineage would be quite useful. Child support, probate, next of kin, predisposition to disease... cheap insurance, really.
[–]mgtowolf 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
That's fucked up yo.
[–]jaesharp 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
They just balanced the books their mother and uncle spent years defrauding - sucks, but at least now they know the real balance of account.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Well... there it is.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
It's terrible that this person feels guilty for telling the truth. They did nothing wrong.
[–]azazelcrowley 13 points14 points15 points (3 children) | Copy Link
He didn't destroy his family, the mother did.
[–]alrun 12 points13 points14 points (2 children) | Copy Link
it takes two for sex.
[–]azazelcrowley 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
It wasn't the man who betrayed his nuclear family. He betrayed his brother though. In most cases, it's just the mother who has destroyed a family and betrayed her children and her partner and done them all psychological damage. This is an edge case, as the man involved was an "Uncle". He is also culpable, but to a lesser degree due to being more removed from the immediate family.
He didn't lie to them literally every single day.
[–]gbBaku 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Well we don't know every detail, but if they shared a deep bond based on trust for all their lives ever since they were little, it's hard to argue the level of betrayal is not comparable to the two cases. I don't know who I would be more mad at.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
While this whole situation is fucked up, not sure why it's here
[–]thwip62 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
The hell of it is, even as recently as 20 years ago, the mother would have gotten away with it. If the real daddy is the supposed daddy's brother, the kid would look like both of them, as in this scenario, and no one would have cause the question the kid's paternity. I don't know whether my brother being the real father of my kid would be worse than if it was some guy who isn't a blood relative. In the first instance, I'd still have a biological kinship with the children I raised, which would be somewhat mitigating. On the other hand, my brother betraying me would hurt more than if it was just some other dude.
[+]Doobie_23255551 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
This is an ad.
[–]valenin 7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
If so, their marketing team is pretty twisted.
‘Domestic strife, blow up your family, end a marriage, start some fights! Only $59.99 from Acme!’
[–]antilopes -2 points-1 points0 points (1 child) | Copy Link
It is aimed at fathers.
And maybe it is a warning to everybody and particularly children, that blurting the results might not be the best thing to do.
[–]lemmechoosethisname 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't know about you - but if I found out that the man who raised me for 19 years while my mother did barely anything for me wasn't my dad, I would be pissed at my mother for basically using the father (using "father" as he pretty much was one to Op) as free child care + child support without going through court.
I would want everyone to know what happened and to ruin their goddam life (legally of course) for using my father like that.