I’m going to college this year and I’m terrified of being falsely accused of something.

goodmod · 2019-02-27T01:22:03+00:00

Here is a subreddit that provides support for survivors of false accusations

Rocky99433 · 2019-02-27T01:12:44+00:00

1.) Don't go to parties

2.) if you do go to parties don't sleep with girls there

3.) If you do go to parties and sleep with girls at the parties don't do drugs first and get their consent in text form or something. Generally, cover your ass

4.) don't worry about false accusations unless you are actively doing stuff with women, particularly feminist women or those who are goth, quirky or stuff like that.

Reptilian_Brain_420 · 2019-02-27T03:05:38+00:00

" Where again is my privilege? "

Your privilege is that you have a better understanding of the situation than most.

Also, your privilege is that you are going to focus on the long game (right?). Parties are part of the experience but should not be your priority. Work hard, study harder and graduate top of your class. Then when you get your dream job you will be livin' large. Focus on why you are going to college.

quackpot134 · 2019-02-27T03:14:20+00:00

As a guy who was falsely accused of rape while in college, don't be afraid to hang out with girls (or boys if that's your thing), just make sure that you have friends with you until you get into a committed relationship. Hookups aren't worth the chance these days.

masterdebator300 · 2019-02-27T03:01:06+00:00

Forget women. Focus on ur studies and hang out with your bros.

theanchorman05 · 2019-02-27T01:00:27+00:00

Make sure you have some type of evidence that there was consent if you do plan on being sexual active. Just my suggestion.

only_bc_4chan_isdown · 2019-02-27T05:13:55+00:00

Female MRA here, social work student as well.

I’m sorry for the things you have to worry about. No one should have to worry about it. Some have said get written consent, absolutely. But I do want to touch in one thing: if something bad happened and you need resources there are some available to you. I’ve worked as a Crime Victim Advocate here in Ny, we will never turn people away for their gender. I want you to know that there are people out there that will support you, in any way they can. I think a big support you can have for yourself is being around good people. Make sure you have good friends, and you know what? It’s okay to cut people out if they are toxic/ not good to you or if they seem off. DONT continue to be their friend.

Best wishes and god speed. Have fun but cautious. This is the best time of your life!

mgtowolf · 2019-02-27T02:12:13+00:00

You are better off just focusing on your studies, getting top marks, and party when you are gainfully employed. Yeah, I know boring, sacrificing. While most of my buddies went off to party at college, I went to work. I am now in my prime(30's), own a house, a few vehicles and have no real debt. The only "debt" I have is business shit like income taxes, liability, workman's comp etc.

unklestinky · 2019-02-27T03:16:53+00:00

Dude, don't listen to any of this advice. Live your life and enjoy college. Study hard focus on your future. Don't be scared that you are going to be accused of something. If you're really worried, about accusations don't drink and try to get laid. Don't do drugs and try to get laid. Don't fuck drunk or inebriated girls. Don't fuck chicks that are doing drugs. Basically, don't fuck girls who can't give 100% consent. Don't fuck feminists or chicks that are super into social justice. If you're worried about being taken advantage of while being inebriated, don't get white girl wasted. How hard is it to not get blackout drunk?

If you're worried about there not being shelters for men, don't move in with a female. I don't even get why you would worry about this if you're just going off to college.

As far as your white male comment... Don't engage the social justice nutters. If you have a real major, like something in the STEM field, you're not going to have to worry about those nut jobs anyway. The real world isn't like social media, I've never once interacted and had a heated discussion with an SJW douche. I choose not to debate feminists and SJW's in the real world. You have a choice to engage those idiots, just don't do it. This is why god created headphones.

If you're worried about your risk of suicide, you have bigger problems to worry about. You might want to seek some counseling now if you're worried about your risk of suicide.

Just enjoy life dude, don't live a life in fear.

cuteman · 2019-02-27T06:38:01+00:00

Get a consistent girlfriend try to keep the one timers to a minimum.

Always wrap your tool.

Generally don't be a fool.

Drinking and drugs and pretty much anything else significantly multiplies any issues.

summonblood · 2019-02-27T08:32:32+00:00

Holy, okay other people are basically giving advice for abstinence. You’re not going to do this nor want to do this. Parties are basically how you make friends in college and meet girls. You’re going to want to hookup with girls so let’s have an actual good plan. Not fool proof but will be a great safe guard.

This will be fairly long, but it’s what you’re really looking for rather than the other advice in here.

I am part of a fraternity and when I was in school I was given sexual assault training twice a semester and we talked about consent constantly because it could shut us down very easily.

I developed this process and it worked very successful:

Most important rule: if she’s blackout drunk or you’re blackout drunk DO NOT do anything sexual, making out may happen because blackout, but you’re basically rolling the dice on a bad situation. You’re not going to be making smart decisions and neither will she. Just for the love of God don’t do sexual things while blackout. Any stories I ever heard about bad stuff happening was because people were blacked out.

So, here’s the best way to do things. If anyone is actually honest about college, parties is where you mingle and meet other people, especially girls. And you’ll be drinking most of the time where situations to hookup arise. Where you’ll always be in the most trouble is when you’re very drunk and she’s very drunk. This is where it’s imperative that you are highly communicative and you should always be highly communicative, but especially so when drunk and she’s drunk. This is also when (to feminist disagreement) when women are most comfortable hooking up and same for you. People drink to feel more comfortable and less self-conscious. Girls don’t care about being slut shamed as much in the moment. But they will care when they wake up. So it’s important that she has a positive feeling about the night prior when she wakes up, which should always be your goal anyways.

What I did, and worked pretty well, is if you’re at the make out stage and things could potentially progress, and you’re making out, start kissing in a playful way elsewhere (clothes on) then confidently but playfully, not shyly or passively, something along the lines of, “If you’re uncomfortable at any point, just let me know and we can stop, no problem.” It should go without saying if she says she’s uncomfortable immediately stop and pull away. Stand up shake it off, you’ll be horny so it will be frustrating. Just tell her you need to cool off and put some clothes on. It’ll help you pull out of the moment.

So anyways, as things progress always take your clothes off first, it makes them more comfortable. Try to keep her involved or ask her to take your clothes off, or do things. Ask her where she wants you to kiss her, etc. You’re trying to get her used to communicating with you. Then at each stage 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th do a sort of check-in. Something along the lines of, how are we doing, does that feel good, what do you like? Faster or slower? Favorite position, etc. This is basically getting consent without the unsexy question: “do you consent to this, do you consent to this, do you consent to this.”

It’s also really important to pay attention if she’s uncomfortable or not communicating and check-in. It sounds like a lot of work, but once you get in the habit it can start to be natural and you can use dirty talk to improve and you’ll perform better because you know what she likes. The more comfortable you are the more she will be too. You can also communicate what you like & don’t like, it gets her more comfortable communicating.

Then afterwards take a breath and chat/cuddle for a bit afterwards then when the time comes walk her out/home and if you haven’t, get her number. This part is really important.

Text her right when you get home and send a text or Snapchat of saying you had a fun time with her and goodnight. If she responds with a text or a snap, screenshot that shit. Then in the morning/next day, make sure you text her and talk about the day/night before. Crazy things you saw at the party, ask her about anything she saw, or just causal talk. Invite her to a future party/event. Screenshot this conversation.

Just from all the stuff you’ve done thus far you’ll most likely be fine. You’ve already done more than most guys do. But you also have texts and screenshots confirming it was a positive experience. But of course, it won’t always save you like some others might point out. This is a safer way to operate.

Good luck my friend!

2019-02-27T06:49:33+00:00

This could be seen as kinda controversial but I think it works well.

Join a male-centered group on campus, like a frat. You can have fun and be wild but can do it with just your brothers. You can also have people on your floor you know and trust that can watch out for you and account for where you were on certain nights. You'll also have a social network of people older than you that know and can warn you if certain women (if you take the risk) are off the deep end and may levy accusations against you. And you'll have a group of men there to take care of you if you get anxious or stressed from classes. Frats or mens groups solve SOOO many problems, despite their image from the outside in.

2019-02-27T08:27:53+00:00

https://theboutiqueessentials.com/products/full-hd-handheld-action-camcorder?variant=12801532461090

https://www.zetronix.com/1080p-hd-ultra-wide-angle-video-recording-dvr-sunglasses.html

https://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/product/1378818-REG/lawmate_er_18_headset_camera.html

https://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=9SIA62V7H00530&ignorebbr=1&source=region&nm_mc=KNC

https://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=9SIA4P05NM2069&ignorebbr=1&source=region&nm_mc=KNC

https://www.bestbuy.com/site/sony-bx-series-digital-voice-recorder-silver/4679009.p?skuId=4679009&ref=212&loc=1&&ref=212&loc=1&gclsrc=ds

Nude-eh · 2019-02-27T15:09:10+00:00

I would not worry about it too much. It rarely happens.

But, I would tell you not to get totally wasted at parties (1 or 2 drinks is ok, 5 to 10 is not.) and not hang with a totally wasted girl. You can have sex with girls but get consent first. Try to get it in writing or video.

I really think you are blowing things out of proportion.

Vorpal_Spork · 2019-03-01T11:58:09+00:00

Don't go to college. The trades pay well and are always in demand.

2019-03-02T07:11:19+00:00

Lol just don’t have sex with any entitled girls

Title	I’m going to college this year and I’m terrified of being falsely accused of something.
Author	Rocky99433
Upvotes	85
Comments	31
Date	February 27, 2019 12:50 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/av703s/im_going_to_college_this_year_and_im_terrified_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-going-to-college-this-year-and-im-terrified-of.882922 https://theredarchive.com/post/882922

Comments