How do you handle someone more charming/better looking in your group?

Omnibrad · 2017-04-21T17:29:50+00:00

Marcus Aurelius: “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

Nucka574 · 2017-04-21T17:33:03+00:00

Social Proof - engage the dude and bring him into your frame, make him acknowledge you in front of girls.

There are always people bigger, stronger, faster, smarter, etc out there sometimes the best answer is to next and try again.

mrpoopistan · 2017-04-21T18:39:55+00:00

There are two views, and neither is wrong.

1) If you can't be Tom Brady, being Tom Brady's friend is likely to be a decent substitute.

2) Better to reign in hell. The oppositional defiant's creed. Fuck your friend's social cricle -- go find another one.

Neither choice is wrong, but the choice you make says a lot about you. (FTR, I'll take a big #2 all over #1, because I'm an asshole.)

_the_shape_ · 2017-04-21T17:35:26+00:00

In some capacity, there will always be someone "better" out there - someone smarter, someone funnier, someone better looking, someone richer, someone taller, someone stronger etc.

Readjusting your mindset so that these discrepancies don't eat away at you can take some time. You will likely have no choice but to be your own voice of reason and continually remind yourself of this inescapable fact of life. This is how you draw the line and begin to concern yourself with things in your control, with how you receive these facts instead of allowing yourself to endlessly indulge in "not fair!" conversations taking place in your head.

Every girl has to deal with this too (probably worse). Don't become one of them.

Peter_B_Long · 2017-04-21T23:49:32+00:00

Just befriend him. It definitely depends on context (if you can avoid him if the girl you're gaming is giving him IOI's) or if he's someone who is often around, etc. I can't remember the last time I was in a situation like that.

But, there are some huge ass dudes at my gym who are pretty attractive (no homo) and instead of getting intimidated, I befriend them. Chances are, the new hot girl who switched gyms is probably going to be eyeing chad, but when she notices my status (all the regulars saying what's up to me, girls saying hi (that I've approached already)), and by me approaching her and displaying game, strong frame, and a better than average physique, I now have a better chance than the buff ass dude. (It's a work in progress, but you catch my drift)

My point is, just be happy for the dude for not being a beta bitch, accept that he is probably living an easier life than you, and then be cool with him. The devil you know, is better than the devil you don't.

TheRedStoic · 2017-04-22T11:58:07+00:00

Stop worrying about how you look in regards to him, you can't change him.

You can change yourself, so take notes and keep working hard on you. Don't get discouraged, use him as a motivation, learn by watching him. He's another source of information and you're lucky that it's a real world one you can experience frequently.

ButtslamAndGhostGuy · 2017-04-21T17:51:02+00:00

Take the guy out for drinks one on one, he sure to have a strong drink (80 proof or higher, no mix no ice) and a cigarette lighter on you at all times. At some point in the night while you're making small talk, "spill" your down the front of this guy's pants then, in the same motion, "accidentally" swipe your lighter across his crotch - as if you were going to light your cigarette but were too buzzed, lost your balance and dropped the drink. As he's standing there with his nuts on fire, you just walk away smirking.

salezman12 · 2017-04-21T17:48:59+00:00

When you see your buddy Chad, your frame buckles. Stop that from happening. Its the guy with the biggest frame that gets the attention, not the guy who looks the best. Granted, it's easier to have a bigger frame the better you look, but that doesn't mean you can't out frame this guy.

oldredder · 2017-04-21T19:44:15+00:00

There's nothing to handle. Do whatever you want and improve your life however you can.

As much as I try to fight it, I still end up shutting down a little bit and going into a jealous pout while I watch girls complimenting, staring or giggling at Chad X.

Has never happened to me.

If some girl is acting stupid-dazed like that but was acting like she was into me I'll either move on / ignore her or I'll lean on her shoulder and stare at Chad with her and mock her like "oooh, he's so DREAMY" so she's self-conscious about it and also is forced into laughing about it so she stays positive. But only if I feel like turning it into minor-fuckery for my own entertainment

Cunt_Robber · 2017-04-21T21:49:02+00:00

Im better looking than most of my handful of friends I go out with, albeit not as successful in all areas. Some are more advanced in their respective careers, for example. I'm conscious if the perceived SMV discrepancies and in a social situation like at a bar I try to not only elevate and establish myself as alpha, but also bring my friends up with me. I do this by introducing them to girls I open, including them in conversation, telling stories involving them that makes them seem impressive, humble, and mysterious. If you're the alpha of the group and you like your friends and want them to succeed you should elevate them to your level. An alpha exerts a positive influence among his friends. If you think he will be receptive to it, go ahead and tell your friend what's bothering you. Maybe you two can work out a wingman strategy.

GreenPiller · 2017-04-21T23:13:02+00:00

"If you can't beat the leader of the pack leave and find another pack." In other words, keep doing one on ones and don't let Chad steal your spotlight

harkrank · 2017-04-22T00:59:22+00:00

Befriend him and try to learn as much as you can. Being hostile to a man that's better than you shows scarcity mentality. Train away your scarcity mentality.

dahcima · 2017-04-21T18:39:06+00:00

Lol, I'm better looking than almost everyone I meet. Never had this issue. Sorry op. Maybe just hang around uglier dudes?

I've noticed guys get jealous of me when girls start giving me attention or suck up to me, usually it gets awkward quick. If you think you're being awkward, they know you're being awkward too. It's just a shit scenario for everyone involved.

Title	How do you handle someone more charming/better looking in your group?
Author	clubfugginfooted
Upvotes	13
Comments	24
Date	April 21, 2017 5:07 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/66qj26/how_do_you_handle_someone_more_charmingbetter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-handle-someone-more-charmingbetter.89882 https://theredarchive.com/post/89882

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