Ok so I matched with this 22 year (I’m 20) old girl on Bumble last weekend. She messaged me first of course. Added on her Snapchat and we hit it off and I got her number. Arranged a date a couple days later. Which was yesterday. Here’s how I went. I should just be straight up with you all. I was being extremely beta and I’m going to obviously mention a lot of mistakes I made on these two dates.

Yesterday we met up for coffee. It was nice and we hit off real well. We held conversation very well and I made her laugh a lot. Lots of chemistry. No awkwardness whatsoever. After an hour or so of being there I tell her let’s go to the park that’s nearby. She said yeah. We went in my car. Once we arrived I started establishing kino as we walked around. Held her hand at first and put my arm around her as well. We then sit down on a slide and continue talking. She leaning on me and everything and it’s now awkward at all. As I have my arm around I’m obviously looking her in her eyes a lot and putting my face more closer. Eventually she catches wind of this and asks “why are you trying to kiss me” in a gigglish way. Just kind of give her a smirk or something. Don’t remember. She says “I don’t kiss on the first dates”. I just ignore it and try a couple minutes later. She gives me the cheek.

No biggie. There’s awkwardness or anything and she just keeps the rejection light and fun. I don’t take it bad or anything and just laugh it off. Eventually she mentions that she needs to go the restroom. Tell her my house is nearby and she can go there. She’s like yeah ok let’s go. We go and we go to my room. She’s to the restroom and I lay down on my bed. She comes out and lays down with me. We’re talking and then grab her arms and pull her toward. We start cuddling. Holding each other. I’m grabbing her waist and whatnot. During this I try to kiss her a few times but I don’t succeed. She continues to give me the cheek in a light hearted manner. Whatever. I don’t get butthurt and continue conversing. Eventually she has to go, so I drive her to her car. Walk her to it. We hug. Like in intimate way. With her head leaning on my chest. She looks up to me and says “I want to do something tomorrow.” Tell yeah sure we’ll plan something. We say goodbye and kiss her on the cheek.

She texts me as soon as gets home, like 15 minutes after the date has ended. I notice that she’s texting in a more wordy way and using more emojis. More flirty.

Sorry being long so far. This date I’ll summarize shorter.

So today I arrange the date. She continues to text me first. In morning she actually sent me a video snap of her in bed, and even puts the camera to her waist, showing off her butt. She sends me another snap of her face later on in the day.

I set up the date for mini golf. 7 o clock. I pick her up this time. We go. We shit the stick the whole time. Just goofing off and being “competitive” and having a good time. We’re there maybe 45 minutes. Here we do lots of kino. She’s obviously into the hand holding and me having my arm around her. Many times she would hug me and lean into my chest in an intimate way. Minus kissing we practically looked like BF/GF. We then drive to the park just to chill and continue our date.

Here is why my social fucking retardness shines brightly. We get there, sit down on a bench and we’re just chilling. However the topic of sex come up. Asking how many girls I been with and when I lost virginity. Basically shit test. But I was failing epically. Answering “ a few” of “a couple months ago”. Being straight up instead of witty. She then proceeds to tell me stuff like how she used to fuck around a lot and how it gets real boring. Saying stuff like “I used to tell me ex to slap me hard but he never would. I would either reply with silence or a light gay ass chuckle. Being very passive aggressive. On top of that, she begins using her phone while we’re. Sending messages and looking threw her newsfeed. I stay quiet. Or a chuckle at the memes or videos she’s showing me. Again, being passive aggressive. Didn’t know what to say. I suck at being assertive. Don’t know how to do it without sounding awkward due to my crap social skills. I tell her let’s go, that I want to leave. We go to a store first because I wanted to see if something was in stock. Then I take her home. We chill in the front for like 20 minutes. We’re talking and making stupid jokes. When she says bye, I try to go for the kiss. Again, gives me the cheek. However then she gives a small kiss in the lips. It was really more a pity kiss I think. Like “here, I’ll at least give you this since I feel bad”.

I know. I fucking suck. Damage is done. I’ve already ruined this because I’m a social fucking retard. This post is for you all to give me advice to prevent this in the future, not to fix this with this girl. It’s obvious I’m fucking beta. Had I not been, this chick would’ve fucked me by now. But sadly I ain’t no chad for sure. “I don’t want to fuck around anymore chase it’s gotten boring” translate to “ I don’t want to fuck around with you immediately cause you ain’t no alpha”.

Questions:

How do I deal with a girl using her phone on a date?

How do I deal with a girl who’s taking about her sexual history?