Stay-at-home Dads Report Being Shunned by the Moms on the Playground

Lethn · 2018-02-16T23:13:43+00:00

Enduring gender stereotypes are hard to ignore. Humphrey speculates he was asked to leave the park because he lives in Charlotte, where social progress tends to lag behind the rest of the country, and where stay-at-home dads are especially unfamiliar. “Living in the Bible Belt, one of the biggest stereotypes is that the woman is supposed to stay home and raise the kids, and the man is supposed to the breadwinner,” Humphrey says.

It's nothing to do with 'gender sterotypes' this paragraph ticked me off especially and is more of that same bollocks where people try to find scapegoats for the behaviour of people generally in society. The women who are openly trying to shun and discriminate men are the fucking problem here. That being said it's not just them, you inevitably have some twat trying to make himself look good that backs them up in order to screw over the male parent who's just looking after their kids.

HeForeverBleeds · 2018-02-17T00:52:09+00:00

Jenks thinks fathers are being too sensitive when they complain about being left out on the playground. "I tell the guys on Facebook that their level of hurt feelings is ridiculous."...As men, we often don’t have to think about security [when interacting with a stranger]. Women think, Who’s this solo guy, coming here without any friends? That’s why I’m sympathetic to the moms — a man at the playground is out of the norm.

This is less about women actually being more at risk around strangers (as when it comes to stranger violence, in fact men are more likely the victims) and more to do with negative and inaccurate stereotypes about 'all men being potential rapists constantly looking for an opportunity to rape", "lone men at playgrounds are pedophiles", etc.

As much as he wants to justify it, shunning men on playgrounds because he's a man so he must be a predator is as prejudice as, for example, White people shunning Black people because he's Black so he must be a predator

Besides that, it's a great article. I'm glad the dads have a community where they are accepted

Luchadorgreen · 2018-02-17T02:17:10+00:00

I've had a cop spontaneously show up at the park asking my kids if I was there dad. I once encountered a mom who interacted with my kids but refused to acknowledge me or even make eye contact. I've become less sensitive about it because I know longer have expectations. I simply don't give a fuck what they do. It's fine if I happen to encounter another adult human and engage in nice conversation. It's fine if I don't.

Luchadorgreen · 2018-02-17T02:24:57+00:00

As men, we often don’t have to think about security [when interacting with a stranger].

This guy is a freaking idiot. I'm so sick of the "women have to worry/think about this or that" crap when it doesn't even apply. A dude is literally more likely to be a victim of violence than a woman is. And I especially doubt a woman "has to" worry about being attacked by a random dude in the middle of the day on a public playground. Like, that is just paranoid narcissism.

rainyday85 · 2018-02-17T00:59:50+00:00

I'm a mom and when my kids were younger than school aged , I saw my first stay at home dad. I raised my kids on military bases , the dad's were almost all active duty and gone all the time so it wasn't common .

Immediately I noticed how well organized he was and his kids were so much better behaved than mine. He was homeschooling them and everything and he just had this whole parenting thing figured out , while I was struggling so hard with it and I wasn't even homeschooling but parenting was so hard for me. Honestly sometimes I think dad's are definitely the better parents. They are so logical about everything and don't worry about everything like mom's do.

I went and talked to him and I met up with him a few times for playdates with the kids but I was worried his wife would think there was something going on so I stopped. That's the only issue I have had stay at home dads , is being worried if I talk to them too much that their wife is going to think something weird about me .

I knew another guy who was working full time but had full custody of his kids, he was an amazing dad, he took them to the zoo all the time, he played outside with them and made crafts with them. His wife ended up getting the kids away from him and taught them to call her new boyfriend Dad (that she cheated on him with ) absolutely vile woman.

drunk-astronaut · 2018-02-17T02:08:10+00:00

Yeah. I was a stay at home dad for about a year. I can relate. They definitely are more cautious about you than other stay at home parents and woman are generally clique-y. I felt a bit like Jane Goodall trying to study the chimpanzees. Everyday getting a little bit more accepted.

Nude-eh · 2018-02-17T10:31:09+00:00

The guy should have told the women to fuck off and that he has as much right to be in a public park as they do.

2018-02-17T03:04:49+00:00

I shun everyone on the playground. Leave me alone.

2018-02-17T07:33:13+00:00

Can confirm this.

6 years as a stay at home dad and its not just limited to the playground. It's also soft play centres, nurseries, swimming, play groups, school pick up and so on.

I still would never change being a stay at home dad.

nforne · 2018-02-17T09:04:54+00:00

In my daughter's school, the mums are highly social. Each year has a Whatsapp group where they discuss their kids, homework, the school, gossip, and arrange nights out. At the school gates they congregate in groups and flit between them.

The dads on the other hand might have one or two friends who they chat with at the gates, but most stand alone and apart. Their only interaction with other parents is when they can't avoid it.

The mums seem to instinctively gravitate together for support, and it begins well before school. I noticed it with my wife at pre-natal classes, and parent-and-baby groups.

If you're a stay-at-home dad, or any male who wants to join in with the mums, it's going to be an uphill battle. Even if you're accepted enough to discuss kids and school, you surely won't be welcome on "mums' night out", so I doubt you could ever be considered a full member.

These are just my observations, I'm not trying to judge anyone. If anything, us men should make more of an effort to be social.

Zero5045 · 2018-02-17T01:32:53+00:00

Stay at home dad and so far I have never had any negativity with moms at the park. We talk and joke like adults. But after reading I guess I lucked out

dashingThroughSnow12 · 2018-02-17T00:04:52+00:00

I'm a single father. I felt a bit of kinship with reading

....dads are on their cell phones....These men are usually “evening dads,” Sliozis’ term for dads who only parent after the workday is done....When moms do see a father on the playground during the day, they often falsely believe it’s the rare “daddy’s day out” with the kids± — and not a full-time stay-at-home dad.

Actually my favourite time to go to the playground with my child is right in the middle of the day. (I work so this is rare.) When it's 2 PM and I'm at the park, it's obvious to every other parent and kid that I'm not the unfortunate weekend access dad. No offense to the weekend dads, those dads denied access except on some weekends, but on the weekends I feel judged. For me at the park on the weekends, it feels like how the article explains grocery trips.

(The dads say they frequently receive the “daddy’s day out” comment when they take their kids grocery shopping. They’ll be in the grocery line, and an older woman — it’s almost always an older woman, Darcy says — working the register will make a comment about it being “dad’s day with the kids.” And the dads will have to correct the cashier. “It gets old, but I’ve learned to shake it off,” says Darcy. “It’s a generational thing.”)

2018-02-17T06:43:40+00:00

Someone comes up to me while my daughter and I are at the park and asks me to leave, guess what? I'm not going anywhere. In fact, I'm parking my ass right there for hours. I'll even turn up the socialization with everyone else there except you.

And people gossip about me? So fucking what? That just means I've got fans.

Jesus what a bunch of whiny assholes.

v574v · 2018-02-17T13:11:46+00:00

It's mel magazine.

A years ago they came to reddit looking for an ex-MRA to help write about MRAs.

They are a men's magazine that is hostile to men's advocacy so expect nothing but garbage from them.

Ted8367 · 2018-02-17T11:54:07+00:00

The conversation at Jenks’ Dads Group in Alaska revolves around everything from math lessons, to preparing healthy meals, to the latest NFL game. More importantly, with the group, he and the other stay-at-home dads have been able to replicate the social circle they were once shut out of — only this one is exclusively for men.

Isn't that illegal?

Title	Stay-at-home Dads Report Being Shunned by the Moms on the Playground
Author	mcdermottj
Upvotes	149
Comments	24
Date	February 16, 2018 10:47 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/7y2ltj/stayathome_dads_report_being_shunned_by_the_moms/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/stay-at-home-dads-report-being-shunned-by-the-moms.905828 https://theredarchive.com/post/905828

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