LTR wanted to invite a male friend over to help her move stuff around the house.

vandaalen · 2017-06-06T11:17:21+00:00

The length of her text alone is fishy as fuck. If there was absolutely nothing else about her meeting him than just giving her a hand, she wouldn't write the second part of "War & Peace" and she would phrase it much less friendly. Women will absolutely rub it in your face if you are in the wrong.

I agree with /u/Reformed65 that you should start to build a road out of there and game other women. Ignore what happened and don't talk about it anymore, but silently demote to plate status in your head already.

EvolvedA · 2017-06-06T11:56:52+00:00

I don't think that you made a big deal out of it, I think that is how she wants to put it, her next move in this game of chess called LTR.

If I were in your shoes, my response would be that this is not about my own rules or my personal preference but something that is common sense and that she should know, even if it hasn't been a topic before.

Actually this is a beautiful example for how subtly women act. "Sorry, didn't know the rules"

And I think it is correct and honest to say that you need to think about if it still makes sense with her.

max_peenor · 2017-06-06T18:26:49+00:00

No one has put the moves on me and it wouldn't work if they did.

That's the funny part, because logistically she put the moves on him. She invited him into her venue to do stuff with her.

[deleted] · 2017-06-06T12:19:22+00:00

This guy I used to fuck came over and we spent the day alone together.

Nothing at all fishy about that.

You should have made a big deal of it.

Disrespectful.

I agree, the overly long text is suspicious too.

But, apparently it worked on you because you're now softening your stance.

[deleted] · 2017-06-06T12:49:51+00:00

She is very loyal yet does this.

Watch her actions and disregard her words. Regardless of what is in her head she would likely write what she did so it holds no meaning.

She's either very socially inept, trying to mindfuck you by playing female dread game, or wants to check this guy out for fucking or a branch swing.

A woman that is LTR material should not be in contact with guys she used to fuck (especially casually) unless she has to be by family etc.

As others suggested, reverse this in your head and imagine under what situation you would be in touch with a former fuck buddy and then hanging out with her alone while in a relationship. Also realize no woman would stand for it.

Edit: It doesn't matter that she had an excuse to be alone with him. Of course she would even if actively wanting to cheat. It's called plausible deniability. Also how heavy is her furniture that she needs a man there and another female won't do? Also how much furniture does she have that she needs this dude around for very long? Can you imagine a woman calling you up and saying "hey come over and move my couch so I can clean behind it". What would you think? I'd think she either wanted me alone, was a user or lazy, or just a dumbass. And if you weren't gonna fuck or be social alone imagine how awkward it would be "ok moved the couch gonna stand here awkwardly until needed again" Have you ever gotten in your vehicle and drove to help someone shift furniture around to clean? I've maybe helped my mom when over there anyways. But my 60 year old mom can still do it by herself. If you ask women about this or blue pill dudes, they will ignore common sense and just call you insecure and say "dude she just needed her former fuck buddy to slide a couch over, ok shitlord?"

FuckboyAWALT · 2017-06-06T11:05:20+00:00

Was it that important that she couldn't wait for you? I doubt it.

I go cold and soft next without explanation. ... Some time after she asks what's wrong and I mention him and >say blablabla yada yada billy beta stuff

Next time set your boundaries more clear.

Ofc its disrespectful soft next was good but you NEVER explain yourself! Billy beta has spoken out of you. Frame is lost.

Next: Don't forbid her to see someone. Thats one of the most beta things you can do. If she wants to see her ex let her and block everywhere. She can join you on your path but doesn't have to.

I'm sorry for making you angry or upset.

Now she knows your armour and frame has crackles, she has the power to brake your frame --> you are a beta in her eyes.

Set your boundaries. Apply some dread game. She probably comes up with shit tests to see if you really became / are a beta. Pass them and you might have a chance to fix this. Fail them and you are her BB.

No_senses · 2017-06-06T11:10:11+00:00

she asks what's wrong and I mention him

Messed up here. You have to let her mind make up the scenario. Instead of wondering what you were doing and who you were with she now knows that you just ignored her because you were upset/jealous. Instead of feeling anxious, she probably breathed a sigh of relief when you mentioned the guy. The spell was broken. Remember, the language of women is covert, not overt.

Her attraction seems pretty high, so this slip-up can be forgiven. Remember, you can't convince a woman that she is in the wrong. Eventually it's going to come back and bite you in the ass. Stick to your boundaries. If she crosses them, she's gone. Don't try to impose rules and regulations. Just make sure you are always willing to walk away.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-06-06T13:55:11+00:00

"Some time after she asks what's wrong and I mention him and say it's inappropriate to put herself in such a position that showed disrespect and plausible deniability and then she sends me these texts:"

Moron, why would you bother tell her you're on to her game? Never voice things like that. You told her about plausible deniability and disrespect? It shows you're weak. She's gonna fucking trick you. That's like a gazelle refusing to come drink water by the river because the lion is drinking there right now. So the lion goes "To come get some water it's fresh", and the gazelle replies "No way, you're a very dangerous lion, you know I can't trust you, you'll claw me and kill me!". "Whaaaat? Nah I won't, you can trust me I swear. Now come drink some of this fresh water" says the lion. And then gazelle goes "okay, I'm gonna trust you. Remember you said you're not gonna eat me!". And as soon as the gazelle gets to the water, the lion pounces and plunges his fangs right in the gazelle's neck, and that's food for the day. Dont be that dumbass gazelle.

A smart dude would've nexted her. Keeping in contact with old fuck buddies, to the point where she can summon him at dann near any moment? Fuck that. You've already shown her you're a little birch with your reaction. By trying to discuss her transgression, you fell into her frame.

Eject now, downgrade to plate and start seeing other girls.

MrTheFalcon · 2017-06-06T21:47:19+00:00

I feel for you man. She's pretty much forcing you to move on. If you stay, you lose frame. I think you're handling it perfectly.

Take everything she said in text, and change it to the affirmative. That is exactly what is happening here. Example...

I would put myself in the position for it to just happen I have romantic feelings or attraction for my male friends. Whether or not you are uncomfortable with something I want to know because I did see a problem with it, because I am not so in love with you that I know something is capable of "just happening" but if it really is a problem then of course I want to bother you and will hangout with people you don't want me to.

She may as well say that she's definitely cheating on you at some point in the future. Being open, but covert gives her plausible deniability, so that when something does "just happen", her female solipsism can rationalize that not only is she still a good person, but she's also the victim.

yourredneckfriend · 2017-06-06T22:39:58+00:00

I heard the exact same things from a plate I let get too close. She was banging another dude the whole time. Not only that, but she was using the exact same lines on him! Never underestimate the ability of a woman to deceive. I will never do so again.

bobtheseal · 2017-06-07T11:24:04+00:00

Also she will drip feed you the truth - Day 1: Oh he came over and helped me move furniture. Day2: Oh he came over and helped me move furniture and I tripped on something and fell on to him. Nothing else happened. Day3: Oh he came over and helped me move furniture and I tripped on something and fell on to him and his willy fell out of his shorts Nothing else happened, Honest. Day4: Oh he came over and helped me move furniture and I tripped on something and fell on to him and his willy fell out of his shorts and flopped on my face then I was sucking it accidentally: Nothing else happened, Honest.

You get the idea how this ends. But seriously, You will probably stay with her or not but at least you are a little wiser. Good luck OP

Reformed65 · 2017-06-06T10:44:38+00:00

Why can't you do it? Are you a weakling?

Title	LTR wanted to invite a male friend over to help her move stuff around the house.
Author	asktrp_throw3
Upvotes	4
Comments	43
Date	June 6, 2017 10:41 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6fkyyl/ltr_wanted_to_invite_a_male_friend_over_to_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-wanted-to-invite-a-male-friend-over-to-help.92183 https://theredarchive.com/post/92183

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