Getting sex by saying ‘If you don’t have sex with me I will find someone who will’ = rape or sexual assault?

mochacola · 2016-12-04T03:37:45+00:00

"I’m not sure I can be with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with me.” ... is coercion and hence, rape?

Doesn't feminist movement tell men to talk openly about their feelz? This is how guys feel!

IronJohnMRA · 2016-12-03T23:45:24+00:00

Of course not. They still had a choice to have sex. It might have been a lousy or desperate maneuver, but the decision to engage in intercourse was still made by another person.

AppaBearSoup · 2016-12-04T11:17:24+00:00

Simple way to determine: threaten something illegal would need coercion and thus sexual assault/rape. Threatening something legal is not, though it is likely a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

If someone threatens to breakup if their SO doesn't have sex, there is nothing wrong (other than their relationship having problems). If they threaten to beat up the other person, that would be coercion and thus invalidate any consent given.

Tmomp · 2016-12-04T03:00:24+00:00

If it is, many women have raped and sexually assaulted me.

Mens-Advocate · 2016-12-03T23:50:53+00:00

Best comment, by /u/MagicTampon, inverts the argument:
https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/5g0jda/volokh_vs_rape_by_threat_to_find_another_partner/daouwb9/

omegaphallic · 2016-12-04T14:40:10+00:00

No, people have a right to break up with people if they feel like their needs are not being met.

2016-12-04T15:26:28+00:00

And yet, the vast majority of women would tell their bestie to saddle up and ride off into the sunset if their bestie told them her relationship was bed dead and she hadn't had sex in months. At the very least, they'd tell her it was a make or break issue and to get a commitment from him to work on it.

My wife left her husband of 17 years because they hadn't had sex in two years and she wasn't ready for that part of her life to end (her words). Notice the change in language ...

xNOM · 2016-12-03T23:44:52+00:00

LOL that's the plot of every good French movie about teenagers, ever.

thrway_1000 · 2016-12-04T00:11:37+00:00

https://archive.is/GacvO

equiposeur · 2016-12-04T16:58:03+00:00

Men can't have expectations about their relationships. Take what you get and be grateful, worm!

wes0789 · 2016-12-04T18:45:34+00:00

I want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with me. I use whatever power I have over this person to get them to consent to sex with me. I threaten this person with the emotional trauma of getting dumped, so they "choose" to have sex with me to avoid the consequences of refusal. Yes, consent was given. But it was coerced. I gave that person a choice of consenting or suffering consequences. Whether those consequences be gtfo, or I'm going to blackmail them, or I'm going to pull the trigger on the gun I'm pointing at them, the person is only given the illusion of choice. So yes, there was "consent," but not really. If you ever find yourself about to say this to somebody, don't. Instead, just end the relationship on grounds of sexual incompatibility. Don't threaten it. Do it. Give yourself the ultimatum. Say to yourself "I will either put up with being denied sex, or I will leave the relationship." Be empowered. Don't be a dick.

Title	Getting sex by saying ‘If you don’t have sex with me I will find someone who will’ = rape or sexual assault?
Author	future_value
Upvotes	32
Comments	15
Date	December 3, 2016 8:02 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/5gbeu9/getting_sex_by_saying_if_you_dont_have_sex_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/getting-sex-by-saying-if-you-dont-have-sex-with-me.936452 https://theredarchive.com/post/936452

Comments