A female over on /r/Relationships agrees to independent 50%/50% split financial equality in her marriage to a man, but is not liking it one little bit and thinks it's "unfair"

lostapwbm · 2016-06-07T18:10:09+00:00

When I said that I think that's what we should be doing, he told me that he "didn't finally get a decent paying job so I can take all of his money" and "if this is the case, he's going to just go back to not working and I can pay for everything."

I'm laughing at this, because this is such a flagrant dick move, but by the same token, women pull this stunt all the time when they do a "BRB, playing mommy" and they leave their job.

He also brought up that when he was unemployed, he paid his share and never did this to me.

Well, he has a fair point. Don't switch the game up because you are on the backside instead of the front.

What he didn't bring up, though, was that I offered to help/ cover him while he was unemployed, to which he responded, "I don't need your handouts."

Which is irrelevant because he accepted the 50/50 arrangement when he didn't have as much money as you. You offering to pay is not the same as you actually paying. FEELZ are not REALZ.

samsc2 · 2016-06-07T18:51:34+00:00

The comments in that thread are atrocious. Everyone's calling him a deadbeat or that he's abusive? Some even telling her to get a divorce. This is just amazingly sad shit and really drills it home to absolutely never get married.

redditorriot · 2016-06-07T17:09:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

tehDemonseye · 2016-06-07T17:50:22+00:00

Cringed pretty hard at "your windshield could shatter and cut you "...

They are made to break in small bits that do not cut.

Also, on topic, a difference of 10k a year isn't much. Maybe she's forgetting the higher taxes, and I guess higher responsibility that gets him this higher pay. Maybe he gets home 2 hours after her every day? Maybe he does a dangerous job, in which he puts his life on the line every day?

I don't mind paying for my gf's things. She doesn't work yet. But when she will work, we'll sure as hell split the costs. Especially on big purchases, rent, etc.

Flame_fanner · 2016-06-07T17:27:58+00:00

Tell her to get a better job.

RunawayGrain · 2016-06-07T19:53:54+00:00

Context is key here. You can't trust the narrator, in this case, not to present a slanted version of events. If it were a third party, it would be a lot less suspect.

After all of my bills are paid (basic utils, phone, car ins, student loans and medical) I have about $100 left over after each paycheck. That money is to save, use for lunch/ coffee, use for car repairs, clothing, fun things, everything that isn't a previously budgeted for bill. It isn't much and I'm struggling. I've cut out as many extra things as I can already.

Lunch/coffee/clothing ... so you cant take leftovers for lunch, skip coffee, and not buy new clothes for a while? I bet by cutting all that you could pay for the windshield in a month or so.

Il128 · 2016-06-07T19:57:00+00:00

Please use archive.is for links to reddit stuff and pretty much everything.

deez_nuts_730 · 2016-06-07T18:02:43+00:00

I can see both sides of this. if he makes more than why shouldn't he put more money into the rent or utilities? Equality is all well and good, but sometimes proportionality is the right answer. On the other hand it is money that he earned and he should be able to spend how he wants. This is a good illustration of how the earnings gap exists. She has a lower paying job and instead of getting a higher paying one, she just complains about it. And men are less likely to take handouts and will work to earn their money. It was good of her to offer help when he needed it; it is what she should have done. And in all fairness he should be willing to help her if she needs it, but there is nothing saying that he has to. They need to stop looking at this in terms of mine/yours and instead in terms of ours. When you get married, things become an "ours."

sillymod · 2016-06-07T20:00:37+00:00

You didn't post the cross link correctly. I have removed this.

Title	A female over on /r/Relationships agrees to independent 50%/50% split financial equality in her marriage to a man, but is not liking it one little bit and thinks it's "unfair"
Author	HiberniaSon
Upvotes	26
Comments	24
Date	June 7, 2016 5:08 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/4n02u7/a_female_over_on_rrelationships_agrees_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/a-female-over-on-rrelationships-agrees-to.947960 https://theredarchive.com/post/947960

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