Because if we do nothing but point out why feminists are shit it, we're not offering an alternative. So here we go.

I'm going to outline my view on consent and how it should work, it's going to disagree with the mainstream one so I expect there will be people bitching about it, but whatever. Feel free to post your own interpretations.

As a default, yes means yes is a good social practice, and a very poor legal one. Sex education should impress upon students the importance of consent from both parties and such, as a means of practicing safe sex.

Legally, innocent until guilty must remain, which involves proving a lack of consent or lack of ability to consent.

Hereafter comes my controversial statements.

As an agreement with sexual partners beyond the safe default, i'm fine with pretty much whatever standard of consent the two of you come to, even if this involves risks.

If I tell my girlfriend that, actually, she's welcome to use no means no as her standard with me, and actually, I'm not all that opposed to being woken up with sex acts, while knowing that this does, in fact, put me at risk in the future of being subjected to sex acts that I don't like, then that's my business. Yes, it might emerge that as a result of this, she will have sex with me at a time when I don't want it and have to tell her to stop. I don't care, and it certainly shouldn't be classed as rape.

The mainstream narrative of consent is prescriptive, and treats adults like they are too stupid and incapable to come to their own arrangements together. Not only that, it veers dangerously close to stifling sexual expression.

In their quest to be absolutist and give definitive and clear cut narratives about rape, campaigners on this issue have left out nuance and flexibility, when that is incredibly stupid.

It makes a farce of their narrative when so many people openly and both willingly deviate from their prescription.

TL;DR- Yes means yes is fine socially as a default, shit legally, and mutual agreements made deviating from the default should also be recognized as forms of consent.

Do you dis/agree? Do you have your own model? Will more questions follow this one? Just how fucked am I for disagreeing with the mainstream narrative?

Disclaimer: Follow legal standards at all times. Campaign for them to be changed if needs be.