After 5 years of being single after my divorce I have a new GF. I told her I would never marry her legally. We can have the ceremony, make the promises have the honeymoon, etc. But, I won't sign the contract.

AvgGuy101 · 2015-08-24T15:13:45+00:00

I understand how you feel about marriage (been there, done that) but you should probably check on the common law marriage laws in your area before you decide to live together and especially before you commit to have some sort of ceremony. I would hate to see you get blindsided by some slick lawyer in case things go wrong in a few years.

Jesus_marley · 2015-08-24T15:34:26+00:00

Don't come to Canada. Under Canadian law if you live with your girlfriend for 2 years you are considered to be default common law. At that point it doesn't matter if you "sign the contract" or not.

RedditorJemi · 2015-08-24T15:07:36+00:00

Just keep in mind, even if you get married without a marriage licence, you will still be in a common law marriage, and the state treats that just like any other marriage. She'll still have a gun to your head.

carchamp1 · 2015-08-24T20:31:14+00:00

"... I don't know why anyone would go through it again."

Because social convention says that marriage has a people problem. When a man (usually) gets his ass handed to him in divorce, there will be plenty of people out there saying he picked wrong and he got what he deserved. So, it's no wonder when innocent victim after innocent victim searches HIS sole for what HE got wrong and try to right it with the next wife.

Of course, the exact opposite is true - people have a marriage problem. It's really the most vile of institutions and should be abolished altogether.

ThePigmanAgain · 2015-08-24T21:20:56+00:00

Seems like a smart move, but you really have to check the law in your jurisdiction. Plenty of guys have found themselves paying forms of alimony to women they simply lived with. In fact, one guy in Australia had to pay it to a woman he'd been fucking behind his wife's back for a couple of decades.

She's divorced, too, I don't know why anyone would go through it again.

Divorce is not the same for women as for men. For one thing, it would be unusual for your girlfriend to be paying some bloke alimony.

2015-08-24T18:30:13+00:00

You have learned well.

das_masterful · 2015-08-24T14:02:57+00:00

Get a vasectomy, or at least investigate Vasalgel. You'll thank me if she decides to change her mind, or you for that matter.

Be upfront with her. Life is too short for you not to be. If she accepts you, then great. If not, no sweat - you've not invested a lot of time etc into the relationship yet.

But please be clear to her what motivates you to say those things and act the way you do. People can really get caught up with hearing the words and not listening to the message.

2015-08-24T23:29:21+00:00

I'm not sure you are as safe as you think you are.

xNOM · 2015-08-24T21:06:20+00:00

Another suggestion: keep all assets and debt as separate as possible

Sir_Shitlord_focker · 2015-08-25T10:00:54+00:00

Idiot it's the same from the legal point of view you'll have a common law marriage.

eaton80 · 2015-08-24T15:35:27+00:00

Dude it's pretty bad if you are already talking ceremonies. She will eventually wear you down. Maybe time to listen to a few episodes of the Tom Leykis radio show? (Google him).

SCROTAL-SACK · 2015-08-24T17:05:19+00:00

Why have the ceremony? It's a stupid event for self-indulgence and ego stroking. I've told mine she'll neither get kids, nor marriage from me.. ever. And she's free to leave if she doesn't like that.

Marriage is a joke. Just make sure you're not in a common-law state for the love of god.

LilyBentley · 2015-08-24T17:48:11+00:00

Cowriting a contract wasn't an option?

bumbuff · 2015-08-25T03:05:33+00:00

Common law is a thing.

2015-08-24T16:47:38+00:00

I don't get it. Do you want congratulations or something? Do you think you're some special snowflake?

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