"Bolded happened to me. I now have an arrest, but no conviction on my record. I'm sure that really helps with trying to get hired. My ex was coached WHILE ON THE STAND at family court to say she feared me.

I kid you not, she told the judge that "HE HAS ANGER ISSUES DUE TO BEING ABDUCTED BY SPACE ALIENS" and he STILL granted the restraining order, for allegedly pushing her down the stairs, in our one floor, not even a porch or entry steps house, on a day I was in Iraq.

Truth. Did not matter. Only her feelings.

The above. Read & Heed.

My ex was bonking my boss for TWO YEARS (I was in Iraq or deployed on a ship for 18 of those 24 months) and when she was caught, I got accused of domestic violence.

I paid over $12k to get the permanent restraining order dropped to 90 days, because under the Lautenberg act, I was considered a felon without a trial. No access to firearms, and was not allowed to fly, because at the time I flew armed helicopters for the Navy.

Protect your self. Protect what little assets you have.

This is how mine went down: Ex caught cheating, knew she was caught, but not confronted on a Monday. Tuesday morning, I am tackled, shackled and dragged to jail, IN FRONT OF MY SQUADRON by the Jacksonville Sherriff's Office. Tuesday night I am released to my XO's custody and confined to base. Wednesday morning I am allowed to go home for 15 minutes to grab what I absolutely need and then no longer allowed in my home. I still haven't gone to court. Go to use debit card for gas. No workie. Go to get cash out. Account empty. Go to use credit card for gas. Account cancelled. She cleaned me out AND turned off my credit cards while I was in jail / confined to base.

Friday, we finally go to court. I managed to get a lawyer on Thursday, who had to be paid by my father, since I had NO MONEY. Not even for food.

30 men went into a hearing. 29 of us left with restraining orders. I'd say MAYBE 10 were legit. The one who didn't, was only because the wife admitted to making it up in court.

Ordered to not go within 5 miles of my house, unless on the interstate. Ordered to continue to pay for the house, utilities, her car, etc. Ordered to give her $1000/mo until "Further order"

The Navy (read as my spineless CO) ordered me to pay her 75% or so of my take home pay, as part of a Military Protective Order. I was paying her $3600/mo with $4800 take home. At least bills paid on her behalf counted. I had $1200 to live on. My student loans were $900, and my truck payment was $250. I had $50/mo to live on.

I WAS HOMELESS. As a LT (O-3). I lived in my truck.

When I finally got to court for the divorce, the "Temporary Spousal Support" got reduced to $2000 a month, so I could eat again. I lived in a **** 1 bedroom, in a really sketchy part of town.

She magically became depressed/disabled. So yeah. Divorce court went swimmingly. Oh, I had to pay for her lawyer too, as I made more money before she became disabled.

I ended up paying $1500/mo for 4 years. And I got stuck with the $30k in credit card debt she ran up in the 6 months the divorce took to finalize. The restraining order prevented me from cutting off her "Financial access"

And I never cheated on her. I never even yelled at her. I put up with TWO trips to drug rehab for her (oxycodone addiction).

Protect yourself. The courts WILL NOT give you a fair shake. At best, you can hope for "not as tilted towards the woman".

Oh, and my lifetime POTENTIAL earning, as a pilot and engineer were both imputed by the court.

And she gets 12% of military retirement."

http://www.airlinepilotforums.com/hangar-talk/84091-help-my-marriage-5.html