When males grow up, society tells them that being a gentlemen and having a interesting personality will eventually earn you a relationship with a female who will be drawn to you because of said personality.

This strategy works, if you are good looking. Males who are good looking will enjoy female attention and believe that the strategy will work for everyone. Meanwhile a different results happens with an unattractive male.

The ugly male will think that he has to be patient. He believes that by using clever jokes, spending time with his female friend, and showing respect for her will cause the female to eventually build up an attraction for him.

Of course the ugly male wants sex. But what he really wants is a relationship based on mutual attraction, in which sex is simply one of many benefits.

However, the ugly male is shown a completely different response. The female is not interested in his advances and only sees him as a friend. The male is confused? Did society lie to me? Is this female different from the rest? Usually, the male will respectfully decline. However, he now notices that the female is no longer interested in the friendship anymore, as she grows distant. The friendship ends and they never speak again. Eventually the male finds a new girl to hang out with.

After many rejections, the ugly male will realize something. The strategy society told him to use is not working. He will look around him at his peers in school and see what they did. His handsome tall and sexually active peers display a behavior different from his. They aren't gentlemen, they are cocky and display a nonchalant behavior when with their female friends. Of course there may be some handsome peers who are respectful, but the ugly male notices they are the minority. He chooses to copy the cocky bad boy behavior of his better looking friends.

When he attempts this new behavior, he is met with disdain and humiliation. The female will reject him immediately, and will show anger towards him. He is then taunted by his peers for being unsuccessful with females. Behind his back, they will mock his appearance.

The ugly male grows isolated and sad. He looks everywhere for advice and help on how to get a relationship. However, everyone is telling him it's his fault. People on the internet say those females were sour grapes, yet whenever he tried again, the result is the same. No matter what method he uses, he always faces rejection.

After trying to work out, dress nice, and work on his personality further, he realizes nothing is working. He becomes desperate. But amid his failure, he becomes angry. Upon being rejected, he lashes out on the female with rage. He doesn't really mean what he says, but his hatred of himself drove him to vent out in a mindless rant. The female will accuse the ugly male of having a bad personality, and maybe will screenshot what he says and post it on Reddit.

This is how incels are made.

We weren't born this way, we just know how things really work in the world. Appearance is the only thing that matters. Anyone can have a good personality, humans are social animals.

But not everyone can have a nice jawline, a tall stature, and hunter eyes.

Also, marriages with an unattractive male and a female aren't relationships. They are merely transactions, the female is not sexually attracted to the male. She is only doing so out of security and financial stability. Chances are, she is also over 30 and can no longer sustain her old lifestyle of chasing good looking males who treat her like shit.