I find this subject sort of couples with TRP. Many lash out against TRP and especially PUA for being "manipulative". As if trying to understand situations and manipulating them in your favor is somehow morally wrong. Isn't this something people constantly do? If you are at an interview, aren't you trying to do your best? Aren't you trying to remind yourself to smile, speak clearly, use relevant acumen, and brag about your accomplishments? This is a degree of manipulation, you're trying to modify the situation to give the HR rep the best view of yourself, even though you may not be the best self in the moment.

The oldest "manipulation" I can remember was being a kid at a baseball game right near the dugout talking to the players occasionally. I remember I kept intentionally talking about how happy I would be if I got a ball from the game, but made sure to say it to my friend, but also made sure to say it within earshot of a certain player. I was hoping he'd 'overhear' me and give me a ball. At the end of the game, he called the pitcher over, specifically pointed me out, and they gave me the last ball thrown in the game. I manipulated the situation properly and got the ball I wanted.

Was I morally wrong for doing this? I mean, I wasn't the only boy in those bleachers that wanted a baseball. If I wanted to get what I wanted, I had to get creative to compete with the other boys. And I did, I did so by framing the situation that it made me the only kid that stood out who could offer a philanthropic reward. I made myself, not just a random winner of a baseball soon to be forgotten, instead, I made myself out as a rewarding experience. They now knew about me and how much I wanted that ball. They believed when they gave me the ball, it wasn't just a random kid who's appreciation would be random, instead it would certainly be high and I would be in return really grateful.

It doesn't end there either. If anyone has ever done sales and is good at it, knows exactly what I'm talking about it. A good salesperson dictates the emotional frame of the encounter. A sales person doesn't just go in and talk about the product. Instead, they manipulate the interaction as much as they can to bring the interaction to the level that will help close the deal. It can range from wearing nice clothes, which tells the client that you are successful which subsequently tells him that many others are buying this product, to using passionate and emotional anchor words, which gets the custom excited about the discussion.

These are all forms of manipulation. Those that manipulate get ahead. Those that don't manipulate are lying to themselves. Now I'm not advocating a sociopathic level of corrosive manipulation -- or a raping and pillaging approach -- but to deny people aren't constantly manipulating are out of touch with reality. I'm not saying that people are all constantly playing a game of chest on hard mode, where every smile and interaction serves a greater long term purpose, but there is a game of chess going on, that's for sure. This is a game of natural selection, you're the product of natural selection, and this is how the game is played, and always will be. You need to do what gets you ahead.