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The proper response

JoyfulCelebration

February 18, 2022

469 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	The proper response
Author	JoyfulCelebration
Upvotes	469
Comments	119
Date	February 18, 2022 6:52 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/AntiFeminists
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/antifeminists/comments/svpe8f/the_proper_response/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/AntiFeminists/the-proper-response.1102599 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102599

Comments

[–]iconoclast2021 37 points38 points39 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

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[–]idiotbusyfor40sec 90 points91 points92 points 4 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link

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[–]SlavNotDead 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RuskinBondFan 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

Patriarchy is more favourable to women.

Patriarchy makes sure each gender gets to do what it's better at. Men get to work hard all day (yay :( ) and women get to be stay at home wives and raise children. The biggest trick feminists have pulled is convincing women that having a career is more important and fulfilling than raising your children. That's a digression. It's good for the family and the children. Raising children correctly is hard, managing house alongside increases difficulty. The work is very valuable.

Women hold a lot of soft power in patriarchy. Mothers, sisters, daughters, wives. Men are wired to cater to them. On a funny note, most of the harrasment I hear of women is woman on woman and if a man is involved, he's just a proxy so that woman doesn't look bad.

When I hear about how married life is hard for a newly wed woman (joint family), mostly it turns out either her sister in law or mother in law is the reason and the husband is a proxy and a pussy to stand up for her wife. Or if someone's old parents are being mistreated, it's the wife doing and the husband is a proxy and a pussy. The funny thing is, this doesn't stop between generations. Wives who were treated poorly by sister in laws and mother in law, would happily pass this to the next generation of brides and raise their children to support this behaviour when mommy does it but shield her when granny does it to momma.

This soft power, it's very addictive to women and patriarchy gives them a lot of it.

[–]idiotbusyfor40sec 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]RuskinBondFan 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

It is if you want to raise your kids correctly. Do you want to outsource your kids to be raised by poorly paid workers in daycare or schools ? Do you want them to come home and go to iPad and let internet be their parent ? I would rather not have kids than to do that.

Raising kids isn't a hobby that you can do after work. It requires serious commitment from 2 parents. And yes, single parent households are worse. So, yes 2 parents. One needs to be at home and watch the child, make sure they're not learning bad behavior and one needs to go out and make money. Theoretically, stay at home dad is possible. But no woman wants to marry a man that stays at home. The only way you can do it good enough, not even talking about excellent job, is usually stay at home mommy. Because that's what works out.

You can be a "power couple", and you can also live on a diet of McDonalds and coke. I'd rather be dead than being a child of such couple. Preferences.

[–]idiotbusyfor40sec 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]RuskinBondFan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

Kids are going to school either way, unless you homeschool them

Yes, but they're getting back home too. Do you want internet to raise them on iPad ?

“No woman” is a pretty big generalization.

It's pretty good generalisation. And you know it. Everyone knows it. No girls want to be married to a guy who stays at home. Almost all women won't marry a guy who earns less than her. And most women would want that the man must earn more than her.

It's such a good generalisation that you'd need to give me exceptions. Exceptions prove the rule.

Also I don’t see men lining up to be nurses, elementary school teachers, and social workers, so it’s pretty fair to say we need working women

Elementary school teachers are underpaid. I think everyone agrees on that. And if there's no future, is it more valuable choice to do that.

Is it not the general consensus that nurses are even though paid well, have no life outside work ? Concept of work life balance doesn't exist there and growth isn't that big again. Is it more valuable for a woman to do that instead of focusing on her own child ?

Social worker isn't a real job. Most of it is just pointless positions.

If a woman values careers in fields that have low pay and poor work life balance more than emotional well-being of her children, should she even have children ? Is it fair to the children ?

[–]idiotbusyfor40sec 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]RuskinBondFan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

You’re definitely an incel.

Ad hominem.

I know families with working moms and stay at home dads

Good, now take a piece of paper, on one side write this one, on another write the one where the husband is working and earns atleast the same amount as wife. And see how many fall in which category. I maybe an incel, but numbers aren't.

Yes most of social worker positions are joke and pointless. Are there good social workers that are dedicated to their work ? Yes.

Also how is social work pointless? You want kids to be abused?

Not the only thing they do.

Also most nurses literally have husbands and children so what’s this thing about “no life?”

For the first 4 years of its life, kid has to be taken care of with high dedication. A parent has to look after everything, is the kid eating right, sleeping right, socializing right, isn't getting bullied or isn't bullying someone, playing enough, behaves well. Do you suggest, a nurse after her hectic schedule can do that job ? Or her husband who earns same or more can do it ? They'd be exhausted as hell.

And it doesn't end there. It just continues, until the kid is teenager. A kid needs a lot of attention. Kids don't understand what's going around, they don't understand their own feelings, anger, frustration, disappointment, boredom. An adult has to supervise them and explain to them what they feel in a way that the kids can understand. This takes a lot of patience.

2 working adults can't do this effectively. People are limited, by time and energy they have. Unless they want to sacrifice quality of life for the kid.

And that's for one kid. If you want kids, you'll have to handle all kids at different stages.

I don't think that all women should have no jobs or any thing like that. But, if you're going to have kids, then understand the burden of responsibility that you'll have. You'll have to make a lot of sacrifices.

It means that you can't have a career and kids and husband without losing quality of life somewhere.

And usually the kids suffer. Raised in daycare and public schools, by people full of resentment because the money isn't good and handling numbers that can't be handled well.

If this would have worked so well, why are people depressed, anxious, dysfunctional and can't be adults properly. Why is mental illness so widespread today in one form or another.

People are limited and if you want to take responsibility as big as having a child, which is going to have a big consequence on both the child's life and society, prioritize the child. It's way more empowering than any career anyone can ever hold. A good mother has more respect than God.

[–]linniesss 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[+]bellpepperblues -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]RuskinBondFan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You honestly underestimate the capacity of humans if you think that a women can’t be a mother and a working woman with a demanding position

I don't say that.

Raising children correctly is very hard. You can do a shit job easily.

When you have raising kids and a demanding career you can't do both of them in a way that you could do only one of them.

If you seriously think, that you can juggle career with raising kids, you are underestimating how much attention and efforts kids need.

Ofcourse you can do it both. But, there would be a quality of life degradation. And usually kids get that. They grow up anxious, depressed, socially awkward. Why is anxiety on rise, why is depression on rise ?

I would still stand by it, if you want to be career woman, either don't have kids or be with someone who is ready to be a house husband. A dedicated parent is very important for kids. Unless you want them to grow hateful to life and you

most women hold purpose in their job

Most jobs are corporate slavery. Nobody likes them. They like the money they get. They have a life and bills to pay.

in their passions.

Fair enough

[+]bellpepperblues -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]RuskinBondFan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You’re not going to do everything right by being hyper present either.

Yes. It's not about the perfect job. You can do a good enough, even excellent job. Flaws will always be there.

Kids go to school and parents go to work for the same duration and often the same portion of the day

Yes. And kids need you more after a day of school. Do you really think, underpaid teachers with a class size of atleast 30 kids is going to be able to attend and focus on a single kid ? That's why a kid needs parent even more after school. Most people won't be able to focus on their own kid after a day at work. Work that pays money is usually very demanding.

It's not even a feminist debate. If someone can make it work with a househusband then it's great for them. It's about the responsibility that comes with a kid. Raising kids in a way that doesn't leave them lacking in an emotional manner is a hard job that requires atleast a decade of commitment from parents, for each child. You can do a little autopilot after the kid is almost teenager because kids become pretty smart then.

It's not about man or woman. If anyone makes a decision about having kids, then they need to understand the responsibility. Your bad job would screw up multiple lives. Every decision you make as a parent, if you're not considering your kid's best interests ahead of your own interests, you're setting yourself up for failure. And your kid would grow up to resent you and the life itself.

[–]Critical-Effective92 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[+]Trumphassmallhands5 -51 points-50 points-49 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

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Yet most people talking about this are privileged people from West or from Europe, where is this no more. Most people will never be CEO, never own a firm, never will have this kind of "patriarchal" power.

It is just delusional, made up. I am the victim and always will be, because I believe in that. I am loser, but hey, just say it is society, even more, let us say that we live in "postmodernism".

Fuck nowadays most people from Business uni are ladies, most of them are in education, most of people who actually are those "leaders" meaning in upbringing, handling money and so on are women, not men. Those big ass men are "leaders", not those who actually DO IT. - if you wanna be that power hungry animal, just make a firm, make a business. But that is hard and it does not work, because, like I said, you are delusional and your customers are small minority of people who you are trying to sell your product.

Feminists always moan about this, when most of them have meaningless papers and doing work for non-profit. If they wanna change it, they should change themselves and do something. BUT, you know so called patriarchy made a made up power wall and they can not, so they still take that sociology or literature uni and do nothing.

Everyone struggles, everyone has to overcome those things. You are not a boss, just because you are man, you are not making big bucks, because you are man.

Fuck I was treated horribly at some point in my life. Where are those "buddies" and "boys clubs" at work?

[+]Trumphassmallhands5 -13 points-12 points-11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't believe patriarchy is a big problem anymore but I do believe both women, men and certain races are discriminated against in certain areas because of those traditional patriarchal constructs. (Ex: women have the advantage with custody and alimony because of the misguided belief that men need to provide and women are better parents.)

I believe the country was built as a racist patriarchy and there are still leftover gender issues because of it even if it subconsciously done. There have been studies done that show different races and genders are treated certain ways even if the person believes they're not sexist or racist.

Women get longer prison sentences when it breaks stereotypical gender roles. When a woman kills her partner, robs or assaults there's more jail time than man but overall men get more jail time because of other areas where women get a slap on the wrist. White women get the least amount of jail time overall followed by minority women, white men and then black men get 20 percent more jail time for the same crime and criminal history than white men so the patriarchal constructs and racial constructs still apply in the US in many ways but they're just not very obvious or clear.

I don't believe it's as bad as people make it out to be though. I don't believe all men are bad or they're out to get women or vice versa but I believe we're brought up in a society that is still impacted by it even if we don't see it. I don't believe we are a patriarchy today but we still have remnants of one.

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