I've been browsing and commenting on here for a while, but now I'm ready to share my story.

My (58m) wife (54f) and I separated at this time last year after being married for 17 years. We'd lived together that last year as basically roommates before that. We have two kids (17s & 16d) that split time between us. We were renting the house we were living in, so we didn't have to worry about splitting any equity in that. She kept her car, I kept mine. We divided up everything else when we both moved. Her idea was for us to get an apartment in the same complex so it would make the transition easier for the kids. Even though I'm not a fan of apartment living, I agreed. There's no way I can afford to buy a decent house right now with the ridiculous prices and interest rates anyway.

So our current situation is we live in the same apartment building. She's on the third floor on one end of the building, I'm on the first floor on the opposite end. We're literally about 75 yards apart. This makes it super-easy for the kids to spend time with both of us. The current arrangement is my son stays with me almost every night and my daughter spends the night with her mom Sunday-Thursday, then Friday and Saturday night with me. I get her off the bus every day after school. She usually stays until just after dinner, then my son takes her upstairs to mom's and he'll usually spend a little time talking to her. One important detail is that my daughter has Down syndrome and can't be left alone at home. She'll be living with one of us for probably for at least a decade, if not the rest of our lives.

As far as separations go, ours has been very amicable. There have been no disagreements about finances. We each have our own account. I make slightly more than she does (about $15k), but she doesn't ask for money. She doesn't want anything from my pension or 401k, I don't want any of hers. We don't have any type of official custody arrangement. We agreed to allow my son to choose where he wants to stay, and our daughter's situation is ideal because she sees both of us each day. Our plan going forward is to use a mediator and not have to deal with attorneys and all the added expense. We don't have a bunch of assets to split, so I can't justify paying a lawyer thousands of dollars to fight over a few years worth of pension.

There's a part of me that worries about what could happen if something changes in her attitude. She has gotten upset a couple of times because she doesn't think our son spends enough time with her. I encourage him to communicate with her and to go spend time with her. I never say anything bad about his mother to him. He just chooses to spend most of his time with me. He used to be closer to her when he was younger, but as he's gotten older, we've become a lot closer. I think it's pretty natural that a 17 year old boy wants to spend time with his dad. At any rate, he'll be 18 very soon and legally an adult, so I don't worry about custody with him.

So has anyone had a situation similar to this? Either with using a mediator or with a child with a disability? I'm in a no fault state as far as divorce, so the reasons are irrelevant. There's no history of DV or abuse. There's no protection orders for either of us. We're both just ready to dissolve the legal contract and move on.