Am I still grieving?

fffrdcrrf · 2024-11-04T12:17:40+00:00

I get what your saying, I experience triggers that throw me into a emotional roller coaster. Lately I’ve been feeling almost angry at the situation, like what a joke that I took seriously when she didn’t. All i can say that I think applies to both of us (because we’re similar age and both have interests in marrying again) is that my values, interests, mentality, and even morals are different than when I met her at 25: tbh I was probably influenced highly by her looks and trying to get laid (she was almost too easy) and that turned into a relationship/marriage and I swear to god I will never get into a relationship again just because I want to get laid. I would rather be alone forever than be with someone who isn’t as serious as I am and doesn’t share similar values and brings nothing to the table besides being pretty (not that attraction is a bad thing). I recognize now that I got off easy and as bad as it was with her leaving it could have been way worse: theres some crazy women out there that drive men to the point of suicide take the lessons learned and I suggest you give what you want in the next relationship a decent amount of thought if you haven’t already and don’t settle for less. I wish you all the luck in the world.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-11-04T03:52:07+00:00

There's always the risk that something can yank those feelings out again. They just get fewer and fewer over time. I totally get this one - out of the blue - just ride it out, nothing else to be done - except maybe think some about what role you will allow these people to play in your life and maybe expect more request, which you'll now be emotionally prepared for ... the hard way.

crager34 · 2024-11-04T01:25:32+00:00

Her brother didn't add you. You accepted the request. You want to move on? Stop doing stuff like that and move on.

Yeah...it does still hurt.

TheWormTurns22 · 2024-11-04T01:09:47+00:00

You are likely soon to get a lot of posts congradulating you on getting past this at a mere 31, and not in your 50s or 60s when all your best years are behind you. You have your best years ahead of you, that should count for something. You should also consider, since your marriage so brief, and since she left you for the opposite side, did she REALLY ever love you? are you able to look back and see all the hints and signs that no, she never cared about you at all. Not even know your story, and I strongly suspect this from your short paragraph. If she never loved you at all, that's really her fault, isn't it? Nothing that you did except be deceived.

Title	Am I still grieving?
Author	brettholz15
Upvotes	19
Comments	16
Date	November 4, 2024 12:34 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1gj1uq2/am_i_still_grieving/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/am-i-still-grieving.1534566 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534566

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