This is my first post here. I’m sure many more will come. My wife and I have been in couples therapy for almost two years and things have only gotten worse. The main source of conflict in our relationship is obvious and all boils down to her unwillingness to treat her ADHD. She deflects and redirects everything to anything but her ADHD so it’s a nightmare. I’m fully planning my exit strategy but not ready to file. Probably in the Spring but the financial impact is too large to make a move without completely planning it out. Recently, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep. Happens often due to the stress of our marriage. I pulled out my iPad and started watching a movie to pass the time. My wife was talking in her sleep. Having a dream conversation with her bestie. She very clearly said to her bestie in this sleep conversation some things we had discussed in couples therapy. Specifically, something I had disclosed assuming therapy was a very private space. To me it was understood that therapy was a safe place to have hard conversations about our marriage and those conversations would not leave that space unless we discussed them further privately. The next day my wife and I were texting about our marriage. I told her I assume our therapy sessions are private. I consider them sacred and would never divulge what we discuss to anyone else. I’m completely open on those sessions expecting no one else will hear the details. She never responded. The next therapy session I brought it up. I said it made me suspicious that she didn’t reply. She first tried to gaslight me by saying it sounds paranoid to worry about that. Implying that that’s not the case and I’m only worried about it. As the conversation continued she said she does talk about our therapy sessions with her small friend group of four women. She defended it by saying that is her support group and she is entitled to discuss what happens in our therapy to get support from them. I was floored. Didn’t really know what to say. I calmly told her, and our therapist, that I feel betrayed. I wouldn’t have divulged all my feelings had I known it would become chum in the water for her and her echo chamber. Ok, I didn’t say that last sentence completely but I felt it. Our therapist said we needed to have a conversation to agree on what is private and what isn’t. How is it wrong to assume that what couples discuss in couples therapy is private? I’m so angry right now. If it wasn’t for our kids I would say screw the money I’ll lose and accelerate the process.