Dating after

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-05-01T00:27:51+00:00

Dating is pretty much a numbers game. You will have to kiss lots of 'Sleeping beautys' to find one that wakes up and if you do, take your time (years) to vet them. If you are older like me, then no need to get married ever again so just go have fun and don't take it too seriously.

I think you can start when you separate but I would be hesitant to date around if you are still cohabitating for obvious reasons.

jarnock · 2026-04-30T16:52:27+00:00

I started once we decided to separate; the marriage had been on the rocks for a while and we had reconciled once already. Everyone here says to wait a year but I felt like I had already been in the stages of divorce for over a year.

I was still sad about getting divorced but it helped me to heal. It was nice to be treated nice again by women and wanted/admired. I say start now, you’ve literally got nothing to lose!

LoveCrispApples · 2026-04-30T16:17:14+00:00

In June 2024, after 16 mostly great years, my ex, (43F) immediately monkey-branched to her pear shaped, serial cheater, combed-over co-worker, (59M.) It was her nefarious plan all along and because of her desire to FastTrack, the divorce only took 131 days and was ruled highly in my favor. They are still together today and I don't care anymore. It was built on lies and deceit, so how good is it really?

For me, it took 8 months of anguish, loneliness, and learning how to eat without vomiting, sleep for more than 2 hours without nightmares, and transform from a man consumed with hate and prone to dreadful panic attacks to one who finally started to get his feet beneath him and take responsibility for his own future.

My first taste of intimacy came out of nowhere with a long time family friend who was 5 years widowed. On Valentine's Day, no less and I was good friends with her late husband. Both of us just feeling needed and desired was a breath of fresh air but I knew I wasn't ready for anything serious and thus, the LDR didn't work. She got clingy and wanted more than I could safely give so after 4 months, I ended it. She didn't take it well.

Not long after, I dated a very fit and pretty woman and had tons of summer fun. I mean, clothes all over the kitchen floor fun. Fine dining, new places, great wine and conversation at her seaside cottage, 4 minutes from my office...c'mon! Mingled with esteemed dignitaries who aligned with my political leniency...I was then 52 and getting better- but she was still older, wiser, and knew I wasn't quite where I should be and after just 6 weeks, she called it off. I thanked her for being a kind soul and wished her and her family well. Though sad, I walked away confidently.

Next month will be 2 years since separation day and I'm currently seeing the AP's ex-wife. It's been an interesting and insanely hot 10 months. Am I 100% healed? No. She isn't either, but we're further along than we've ever been and enjoy each other's company quite a bit. She gets along with my daughter wonderfully and was a first introduction (at my daughter's request) one full year after finalization.

Everyone is different and follows their own path. The once love of my life decided to be a filthy skank on Day One. I needed that first year to get my head screwed on right and stop the bleeding. After some brutal darkness and volumes of literary self help, popping my cork didn't hurt.

Knowing your worth and protecting your peace is critical. Optimally, it should be done alone but with proper boundaries, standards and mutual patience it can be done with others in your realm, even whilst navigating often turbulent but romantic seas.

LaCathedrale · 2026-04-30T14:37:28+00:00

Ex didn't tell me when she started dating, but she was already sleeping with someone (and still is) 2 weeks after moving out. Divorce won't be finalised for another month or so.

It's very common for both sexes to rebound into dating/relationships but women have the upper hand when it comes to playing the game. How to get a date as a woman: be female. That's it. When you're craving validation, a warm body, etc. and you can turn the tap on and get that - it's an easy choice.

Theoretically the harder and better choice is to reflect on your relationship, learn to be alone again, establish what you want going forward and THEN date - but it's cold comfort when you see your ex screwing around.

Guru_of_Glaze · 2026-04-30T14:11:16+00:00

For me, I started dating about 2 months after the separation. My ex made it clear she did not love me and there was no path to reconciliation. I'm a good person who deserves affection and connection, so I didn't see much point in delaying it once I felt ready to date. It worked out well--after being on the apps for a few months, I met my current partner. Couldn't be happier with where things are now.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-04-30T12:50:43+00:00

I don't know about mine, but I would say when it's done let it be done. Let her date and try not to care. I don't see any way in which it could benefit you to know this information.

Title	Dating after
Author	flyingSquirrel-0
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	April 30, 2026 4:10 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1szlf94/dating_after/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dating-after.1579277 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579277

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