So, my divorce was final last Thursday. This whole process lasted a little over 1 1/2 years. Through this entire beatdown I have been depressed, fearful and angry. And the day the divorce was final a wept like a baby thinking of the very long history we have had together.

Then, one day this week it clicked with me. I have become less than a man in my older age and I also realized I didn't like who I have become so how could I expect anything different from anyone else.

I had become timid and unwilling to take any chances. Status quo had become what I wanted and I didn't even realize it. Well today I have decided to find the man I used to be. The man that wasn't afraid to try new things or take a chance. I have decided to kick the fearful, pathetic man to the curb and bring the old me back. So now I am on this journey to find the old me. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself, for wishing that I would die and and just getting by day by day.

This is going to be a process fellas and I don't look for it to happen over night and I am sure I will stumble.

I miss the old me and I want him back. I realize this will have to be an intentional decision I have to make every day. It starts with eating better, lifting again to become stronger and taking on new challenges.

I can't pinpoint when I lost myself, but now that I realize it happened I have decided to do something about it.

To everyone going through this miserable process I wish nothing but the best for you. Don't give up and take steps to move forward. If I can do this at 54 you can too.