It’s done

MartyMcFly7 · 2023-09-21T17:47:29+00:00

I'm about the same age and we were together for about 30 years. It's a weird feeling, having spent the majority of your life with someone who is now your ex.

My ex was pretty cruel towards the end, so I suppose that made it easier to part ways. She'd fallen out of love and it was obvious.

I met someone else soon afterwards and have been with them ever since. In many ways, she is a much better fit for me.

While I respect your willingness to honor your commitments, it's no fun being stuck in a relationship with someone who is there purely out of obligation. Life is better when you're with someone who actually appreciates you, enjoys your company, and WANTS to be with you.

My mother, who was a Christian, held out for my father to come back after they were divorced (believing she was led to do so). She waited and prayed while he got married, divorced, remarried, and divorced again. Finally, after 16 years of waiting and praying, he actually came back! They fell in love once again, got remarried, and everything was wonderful... for about a year. Then she remembered why they'd gotten divorced in the first place, and they got divorced again. Sometimes two people just aren't a great fit, no matter how much they want it to work. Take my advice: don't waste your life waiting for someone who doesn't want you. Find someone else who does.

Similar-Guitar-6 · 2023-09-21T17:38:57+00:00

Be good to yourself, bro. You're doing the honorable thing. She made her choice, and you're bowing out gracefully.

This amazing sub has helped tremendously. Keep coming back for strength 💪. Best to you.

tdwriter2003 · 2023-09-21T18:53:37+00:00

Control what you can control. It's not up to us to understand a woman's reason. Even if we had an explanation probably would not make any difference. Don't try to seek out her reasoning It will drive you crazy. It's a hard lesson to learn but Doesn't matter if you were good and treated her like a Queen your actions don't matter. That was a hard part for me how could this be happening to me if I was a good man. You'll find peace once you realize it doesn't matter what you do. When it's all up to your partner. It's cliche but give it time. Getting to summer teens and as time goes by it will get easier.

Basic_Advance7627 · 2023-09-21T18:50:05+00:00

I understand exactly your convictions as a Christian concerning divorce and remarriage. It’s a tough situation. I’m 51 and my wife left after 27 years but she was cheating. I found someone else, but it’s not the same. Now I’m stuck. DM me if you need a friend.

To_Shrug · 2023-09-21T18:06:19+00:00

Brother, I'm sorry you're going through this! (i've been saying that a lot recently)

It's time to make her the villain in your story. You say she is a Christian? Did she have biblical grounds to divorce you? I'm going to go out on a limb and say she didn't.

Lets keep going, what kind of God fearing woman breaks up a marriage (with vows to God) without even trying to seek a resolution?

You are as released from her as you can be in this life. I know its hard to let her go, but you have two choices.

1.) You wallow in self-pity for the rest of your life and waste away.
2.) You move forward, put this awful situation behind you and build a new life.

It's time to workout, eat well, get sleep and figure out what you want (that's the hardest part). I know this is fresh for you so take some time.

It's great you found this sub, many of us know how hard your situation is and are happy to help.

Read this sub often, it can be very cathartic. You got this!

CB33isGMC · 2023-09-22T04:34:31+00:00

Yeah man. I thought I was gangsta until I saw that divorce decree signed and stamped by the judge.

I cried like a big baby.

Something about the finality got to me.

Even though I literally hated my ex, I think I’d secretly held out hope that things could turn around. I had lied to myself about that and I felt ashamed.

gu010206 · 2023-09-21T19:11:49+00:00

Unfortunately modern church had made marriage and family the main center of our faith and identity in my case everything went south when I realized that the only person I needed to affirm me was God and only God, the Word says that you should have no other gods but when we get marry we make our wife our god and when that god walks away it devastates us, we need to rethink what is to be a follower of the true God and be ready to leave everything for Him, even a woman.....I hope you find peace in God and a great life walking in His steps.

mcw33 · 2023-09-21T20:07:16+00:00

Totally understand the emotional side of it all, you gave her most of your life and now it’s all for nothing.

Keep strong, focus on the future, keep an open mind and try do things to make you happy even if you feel down in the slumps. Be alone, spend time with friends or just going out and waking.

You’ll feel better in time and who knows what the future will bring.

berzerker5000 · 2023-09-22T17:43:04+00:00

Why do so many Christian women seek divorce? I feel like it’s a giant club and have even seen these “professionals” tout Bible verses to justify divorce. It’s pathetic and sad these “godly” women who really are just selfish bitches. My stbx is in the club now.

beachndesert · 2023-09-22T20:25:22+00:00

I was married 34 years and found out my wife was cheating. Officially divorced now as of 2 months ago. Lost over 20 pounds and now dating several women. Live in a 55 and older community with golf, live music with dancing, tons of activities. Throwing a Divorce party at our Club House with a live band soon. Living the dream.

playerknowmore · 2023-09-21T21:16:44+00:00

Don't count out another man. Women normally will never express that they did something wrong. My friend didn't find out his wife was having an affair until three years after divorce. He blamed himself so much that he tried to give her everything. The judge had to save him from himself. He wasn't listening to his lawyer.

Crazy thing was that she tried to come back after he was thriving again. He was through with her by then. He later found out that his friend she cheated got another woman pregnant.

Dakeddit · 2023-09-21T18:50:33+00:00

My Christian ex has been divorced twice. She made me more atheist due to her hypocrisy. Hopefully her next victim reaches out to me before it's too late for them too.

BlessedAF-FR · 2023-09-22T11:29:17+00:00

“Sorry for the wall of text. I’ve been dictating this on my phone as I’m driving down the road.”

🤦‍♂️

Key_Preference_4594 · 2023-09-21T23:39:29+00:00

As a guy always protect yourself. I never know why guys leave themselves exposed when they have more than $100k. You’re lucky you got the house

creepsteak750 · 2023-09-22T00:56:45+00:00

Damn. Stay strong.

Classic_Dill · 2023-09-22T14:12:09+00:00

Please seek out a Psychiatrist, not a therapist a Psychiatrist.

It helps a lot!!!

dnbndnb · 2023-09-22T19:03:54+00:00

I spent the same amount of time with my now ex-. Mine was a liar, a cheater, insecure, emotionally destructive, selfish and not very giving. It was a rough first 6-9 months after we split finding my feet planted. Now about 2.25 years later if/when I think of her the first thought I have is “man was she selfish & stupid”. You’ll get thru this like other things in life, and with some distance behind you see her more for whom she really was, not who you idolized her to be.

Title	It’s done
Author	computergeek89
Upvotes	66
Comments	33
Date	September 21, 2023 5:22 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/16olksc/its_done/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/its-done.1232541 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232541

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