Divorce with debt?

SpacemanLost · 2020-04-07T13:50:50+00:00

How do we divorce with a pile of debt.

You could represent yourselves, but that's super risky and can't be recommended. Some lawyers will make accommodations or payment plans - you need to ask.

In terms of splitting the responsibility for the debt you've accumulated in a divorce, that's part of the divorce process to be worked out between the parties and the judge.

But there is a HUGE fatal flaw with that. The people you owe money to - the bank, the 401K administrator, the credit card companies - they are not party to the divorce and are not bound by the decisions of the court. If you or your STBX choose to ignore the debt assigned to you, the lender will come after whomever signed the contract. You can complain to the court "My ex is not paying on the debt they were assigned, and now they are harassing me" and other than maybe getting a stern talking to, there usually isn't much in the way of remedy.

In the case of mortgages, and assignment of the house, often there are orders in the decree to sell the house (good luck during lockdown) or for one party to refinance the loan, which is the only way to take someone else off the original loan. But the lender is under zero obligation to do it in the event you don't meet underwriting (or they just don't feel like it). And who owes on a mortgage is completely separate from who is on the title of the property. A "quit claim" deed is used to change that.

stressnaught · 2020-04-07T16:39:40+00:00

Going through this right now. Ex made 3x my salary, when she left she hasn't put a dime toward mortgage or community debt. Been in court 40 MONTHS now. My 3rd lawyer., She's representing herself. She wants half of the shit including my retirement, and wants me to assume part of her school loans.

Midway through the process she got canned for being a drunk and has been on unemployment/disability for the past year or so, and is now after me for child support. I eventually paid off all the debt on my own to keep the goddamn collectors of my back, I'm also fighting cancer btw. Being on disability also suspends her school loans, so shes milking that.

Numerous times the court ordered her to exchange financials and she refuses to. 4 times the court requested and she never produces, but no penalty from the court is ever enforced.

She also rents a house 800 more than my mortgage, has 2 nice car payments and wears fashion labels. I drive a shitbox and shop at target, and have the 2 teenage kids 75 percent of the time.

Some how she is getting away with this and I feel helpless. My lawyer says even with a court judgement there's little chance I will ever see a dime from her in the debts.

My best advice to you and everyone reading this,: LAWYER UP ASAP. My experience with an amicable process is laughable. I thought I couldn't afford one on my shitty salary and debt but there are lawyers that can give you direction for an hourly fee without having to retain them. It's still a lot but you will know what NOT to do.

I did learn that if you don't answer your calls from debt collector, no one dies. $18k in credit debt and I only got sued for 1400 of it, which I was able to negotiate down to 900 before trial. In fact, I was able to negotiate all of it down to about 7k. Your credit is going to be shit no matter what you do so save your money and try to negotiate it down.

MNCPA · 2020-04-07T16:24:49+00:00

All assets + all liabilities = total net assets

Total Net Assets / 2 = Your share

Negative net assets just means you will receive half of the debt.

Child support for most states is not based on what you can afford, but rather the online state child support calculators which are generally based on gross income.

Fin4llyBre4thing · 2020-04-07T16:37:32+00:00

I went through this with my ex. Had a house with a mortgage, vehicle loans and ~20k in debt so a similar situation. All assets and debts are 50/50. Start documenting how much you are spending to maintain the house and all related bills. The clock starts when someone files. By documenting how much I was spending on her, it worked out to be ~10k in bills that I was able to take a credit for that on the assets. I was able to keep the house because she could not afford the payments and related utilities on her zero income. It was also a net zero where it was worth what I owed on the mortgage. (She wanted 2/3 of my take home pay and that still would not have been enough to pay it ). I used my 401k to get a loan to pay for my lawyer. It only had 5k, but 2.5 k was enought to start. Just track what you do and disclose it. She got to keep the SUV and I got my truck. She got to keep more stuff from the house but that's not worth the lawyer fees to try and claw back 500 bucks worth of stuff. She later wrecked her car and wanted me to pay for a new one and PROMISED she would get it refinanced. Do not trust her on that. I told her, "No." She threatend she would have her lawyer take my truck. If your name is on it, then it's your debt. Get a support system going. Get counsel from friends you trust. Try to manuever your best outcome out of this bad situation.

NO_PRND · 2020-04-07T21:51:20+00:00

Bankruptcy but only after the divorce is finalized. I would consult a bankruptcy attorney

wolpak · 2020-04-07T14:24:29+00:00

How much debt and is it worth looking to declare bankruptcy over?

Title	Divorce with debt?
Author	throwra9on
Upvotes	7
Comments	10
Date	April 7, 2020 1:12 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/fwka0x/divorce_with_debt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce-with-debt.818362 https://theredarchive.com/post/818362

Comments