She had been seeing another man for an entire month before we even were about to divorce. They were texting and she was calling him daddy. Her eyes were colder than they used to be.

She wouldn't let me do nice things for her anymore. Her birthday came and she wouldn't let me celebrate with her.

She got flowers at work from her "sister". Wild flowers. Her favorite. The ones she told me always not to buy.

She was always smiling at her phone while I was oblivious. Going out to warm her car for her. Melting the ice off the windshield. Making her breakfast and coffee. Cleaning the house and doing whatever she needed me too. It just wasn't enough.

I blame myself. Sitting here in this house that isn't mine. Living off of family with no job now, and no car. Alone but surrounded. My little brother plays his games at the top of his lungs every night. I can get no rest. The shower her is awful unlike my old house. I don't even have a pair of socks other than the ones on my feet. Broken. Upset. Hurt.

I peered over her shoulder after talking to her one morning. She was in the bathroom. I thought "oh she's just talking to her sister"

And then I read the messages. She was calling him daddy, and he was telling her to get in the shower and get cleaned up for "daddy". Saying this to my wife. My best friend of 6 years.

Now, we had our own problems. For a long time we've had our issues but we always kept trying. We both broke each other's hearts but I had become a changed man, and she a changed woman. But we always had each other's backs.

2 years ago we were separated for 4 months. During that time she could visit me only so often. Maybe every other week. I lived in my grandma's garage, showering in a pan of water. Sleeping on the ground. It was rough. The reason we had separated wasn't us. Her family and I had gotten into it.

She was going to divorce me then, but we reconciled. Her sister had convinced her to leave me but she didn't.

I came back and we had a lot of good times but things never felt the same. She was always gone with her sister somewhere. I avoided her family like the plague; after they told me to "use a better rope" next time I tried to kill myself.

We never felt like we did before the separation. The more I think back on everything maybe I was in love with a ghost in my head than the person in front of me.

In the past 8 months I started a job and was working overnight at a factory. I started sleeping on the couch. We stopped having much sex. The couch thing was because I didn't want to wake her up.

Later it was because it was more comfortable than the bed. Even after I no longer worked nights.

All the places we'd been, things we'd done. Memories we made. Sacrifices we both made. And me spending 2 years trying to make up for all the mistakes I'd made.

We had decided to divorce days ago, but she had been cheating on me since December of last year at least. I found the dude one facebook and she had been liking his posts for a long time.

The kicker was that my job makes Saturday mandatory overtime sometimes and if you miss it, you're fired. I needed this job because I was trying to save before I got a divorce. Well, I told her that I might have to work this Saturday and she blew up. At the time I was unaware of the cheating. I thought she was going to stay with her sister. She said I was stupid and told me she fake orgasmed with me. Mean things.

Told me just lie to work, hitch hike or whatever, but SHE WAS TAKING HER CAR and that I couldn't guilt trip her or reason with her. I said okay. Her sister needed her, and I understood.

Sat there watching her get drunk and smiling at her phone. I suspected then that it wasn't just her work friend "Leanne" like she claimed.

Next morning I was getting ready for work and found out the truth. Immediately she was telling me to mind my own business. Telling me that Im breaking her boundaries. Telling me that we're getting divorced anyway.

I told her regardless, we're still married. When I asked how long she had been seeing this dude, she said 7 days. We had only been deciding a divorce for 3 at the time. Then she told me since the start of January. That's when she deleted all our old pics from her phone. Her sister thing on Saturday she admitted, was actually her spending the night with another man while I lay there sad and alone in the house.

My momma is gone too. Lost her 4 years ago to the day my wife announced she wanted a divorce. She really did all this the same month she knew I struggled with for the past four years.

Now, I know I could've stayed, but the whole making me risk my job that took me forever to get so she could sleep with another man was the final straw. I didn't want her help. I'd rather die alone and homeless.

I signed the papers yesterday and called my sister. I told my wife I forgave her and took what I needed and left. That was it. She'll be getting it good by the dude this Saturday and I'll be here without food, or a car, a job, or even a place to sleep. Sleeping in the house of my dead mom and no silver lining in sight.

I sit here thinking about just quitting if you know what I mean. All I did was love her, and now she's gone. 6 years thrown away for some guy she knew for a month.

She really was as cold as I felt she was all along.