I am not able to cope for some reason lately. 42m, divorced a year, separated for 2.5. I don't love her or miss her, but I am so angry at her, I am so angry that she did this, I am so angry she might be with someone else now. I am so angry and because of her I now simply cannot trust women. My good friend who's been through this was so right. He said that the most decent, sweet, and loving women can absolutely destroy you. She did and I am. No kids, but a ton of pain. I was doing just fine. Trying to get in shape, eating healthy, gym, hiking, taking care of my soul and just loving myself, but I can't let go of the anger and I can't put an end to this irrational resentment towards all women. I seriously do not trust any woman right now besides mom, grandma, and sister. They are different type of women and I simply don't meet these type of women in LA. I was born in Central Asia (white guy), very cultured, not stupid, good career, witty, intelligent, can hold a conversation on almost any subject, a gentleman, and good looking from what I have been told by many. But I simply cannot make myself date Western women these days. After a few dates and almost having to stick two fingers in my throat to puke, I realized that I just can't date these women. There is something seriously wrong with them. I've had much better luck dating non-American women and I now finally have some sense of reality where I understand that not all women are that bad. Anyway, I am just lost because I have so much anger from the past and I just want to heal. I want to move on, but I can't. I am absolutely alone. All my friends are married with kids and all these other people who I thought were friends are actually random douchebags. I value my friends and I am generally very grateful, but I am absofuckinglutely alone and I am having a hard time coping. I am literally afraid of losing my mind because the loneliness deafening. I am not afraid to die. I am afraid to continue living like this. If not for my dog, who is my everything, I wouldn't be here most likely. I am not a religious person and don't believe in any type of clairvoyance nonsense, but I wish someone could tell me that things will be better down the road. I can't take this anymore. I am really afraid my mind will snap. I've already barked any various women, who were just being total bitches, but I should have kept my cool. I am not violent towards people, I am just tired of being this. =\

Sorry about the rant.

TLDR: Can't get over my divorce and my ex walking out, and it's causing me to be irrationally angry at all women. I don't believe women at all anymore, but I also don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. I am tired of the pain