So my ex has dragged out the divorce for way longer than it should be. Primarily because she has a bunch of medical and mental issues, but refuses to go on disability. In any case she's been furious since the split that I have the 3 kids most of the time. Mainly because she couldn't then and still can't handle being in charge of herself let alone the kids for a full week. (her mom tells her when to take her meds, and do other things. as she constantly forgets, and doesn't make common sense decisions)

But going to why I'm here, since the split every chance she's had she hunts for anything that isn't up to her standards/code. ie okay she stopped by today to see on of the kids, 5 min stop. Within that time she argued with me about our sons bday and that I didn't want to do a 5+hour drive each way on his bday (he doesn't want to do it either, he thought the place was 10min away) And me nor the kids want to be in a small car for a 4 hour direct drive (with kids it's at least 5) with her. Therefore she says it's all my fault I'm not letting her give our son "a bday wish".... (fyi she's been setting pie in the sky things for awhile, and I'm not against it, just be reasonable. ie driveout one day do some sky siteseeing, hotel, and drive back. (FYI she has no money since she can't handle working and keeping a job)

She also spent time to say I'm destroying the house, everything is filthy. It isn't vacuumed 2 days ago, granted I do need to vacuum the steps. Which she then says are being destroyed, as their is a little play in the carpet, as it's been at least 11 years since the carpet was installed. It's normal wear, no tears or anything. Every time she comes near the property (which she refuses to sign over as it's another form of "control") and I do my best to make sure she rarely comes here. Aside from when she just shows up, which she knows pisses me off.

And yes the trip, and other things in different ways are I know both digs at that the way she sees it, I'm the one who should have left. And two she wants me to take her back, so she doesn't have to work, and that I will then have to deal with her and not her parents. Whom she hates to deal with, but doesn't have a choice, as she'd be living on the street.