16 years together, intimacy has been an ongoing issue since we had kids. 2 years of marriage counselling which I initiated and where for the most part I did the majority of the work outside of session.

She's a fearful avoidant attachment with a long list of issues shes always avoided.

Decided to do an in-house cohabitation trial separation - was a really shty limbo. 1.5 weeks ago I decided to call it because we had only disconnected more because she didnt do the work and she agreed. We havent told the kids yet and we're going to wait until after Xmas.

On Sat night, I went out with a couple friends on Sunday, my STBXW said I need to be honest and tell you something...

She downloaded Tinder on Saturday night and my daughter caught her red handed on tinder when she went on her phone to find a picture she took earlier in the day and Tinder was still open.

My daughter is devastated and thinks mums cheating on dad..

I am devastated because shes been avoiding emotional, physical and sexual intimacy for 13 fkn years and it only took her a bit over a week to download tinder and we haven't even told the kids yet.

Here I am, completely depraved of intimacy trying my best to be as respectful as possible..

Feeling absolutely humiliated, angry, hurt and a tinderbox of other emotions.