Hi all -- Long story short, married 24 years. Four kids. Two in college, two in high school. Wife told me just over a month ago she wants a divorce. Blindsided and still reeling. Back in the fall, because things were heading south financially at my old job, I accepted a (great) new job that unfortunately requires me to work three days a week across the state and then travel back home each weekend. Thought I was doing this for the family -- the job pays all the bills, the kids' college tuitions, health care, etc. My wife was laid off from her job two years ago and never got back into something real and steady. She works essentially two part time jobs. In the meantime, because she has the time/flexibility, she has thrown herself into her gym and goes every day. Has gotten herself into the best shape of her life. I can tell it has annoyed her that I can't do the same, but, again -- I'm traveling two days out of the week and working to pay the bills on the others. Anyway, she tells me she wants to split, we have had numerous conversations since. Tune keeps changing, "you're not taking care of yourself, I don't know who you are anymore, etc." OK? I found out since that she told the kids before she told me -- heartbreaking and I am thinking pretty much unforgivable. She got to set the narrative before I even knew. And this is someone I've been with for 30 years. So now I am stuck in this situation where when I go "home," it doesn't feel like home, it hurts to be around her, and things are awkward with the younger two kids. But I also don't want to be alone out here in this other city in an apartment that was supposed to be nothing more than a crash pad. So it's been hard. Oh, and I should mention she did this right before a big 50th birthday part she had planned for me out here in my 'new' city -- her and the kids and my friends/family are coming out and now something I was looking forward to is something I just need to survive. Our 25th was this summer. Our oldest's college graduation is in May. All of it feels so meanspirited and, frankly, convenient for her. I've been wallowing in misery but today I felt like I had a minor breakthrough -- I realize that after this weekend, and except for family events, I don't want to see her, I don't want to talk to her. It's over, and it sucks, but the longer I remain connected it will only make it worse. Everyone who has been through this keeps telling me that it will only get worse before it gets better, but just having that feeling today where I just realized I don't want to see her felt great. This all sucks. Thanks for listening.