Help Getting a divorce

2ndChance_1stMistake · 2022-12-26T23:31:55+00:00

Get a lawyer. File first/now. Get an emergency declaration placing the children in your custody.

In the filing.

You want “shared” custody with you as the custodial parent. As the custodial parent, you will be entitled to support from her.
Don’t sell the house. You want to keep that. Borrow against your half of the equity to buy her out.
Do not agree to alimony/maintenance; none, zero $0.00.

tegritypharm · 2022-12-26T23:47:29+00:00

Mine started with a plan to completely amicable, I thought we were going to one of those dream scenarios where it is civil for the kids. I found out in time she was playing hard ball right out of the gate to fuck me in any way she could. Get a lawyer, it will save your sanity down the road

drew_peacpck · 2022-12-26T22:49:45+00:00

If nothing else, pay for a consult with an attorney. Mine was an hour and a half for $100. Money well spent. YMMV

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2022-12-27T00:10:13+00:00

Lawyer !! Best you can afford . Trial by Combat ? You hire a Gladiator . Wife Screws You Over ? You get a professional lawyer . No - or Self Representation Leads to it massively Raining on Your Furniture

zippyweinstein · 2022-12-27T03:58:53+00:00

Every state has different laws on this, and you’re asking anonymous redditors to figure out child support in a 50/50.

If you’re going to do this right, get a lawyer to compute child support for you and give legal advice. Pay a little upfront because trying to change it later can be impossible. And know that what looks like agreement often becomes contested.

YellowPeril666 · 2022-12-27T00:01:09+00:00

Depends how much she is making too. WA is roughly 1500 for 1 child (I’m not sure how much 2 are), which is divided based on income. And, what I learned, is it’s an all or nothing type of deal. So, if you’re on the hook for, say, 1000 bucks, you’ll pay that whether you have 0% or 49%; likewise, you would get, say, 500 bucks if you have 51% or 100%. A 50/50 split for CS is tricky in WA. Usually, the high earner (in this example it would be you), would pay the full amount (eg 1000) unless you ask for a deviation.

OutlawsA15 · 2023-01-13T22:11:04+00:00

So we’ve decided to do through mediation. Have them do all the paperwork and we will sell house or have it on the market by March/April. Hopefully I don’t get screwed, oh well. We just had a conversation last night and joked about us having to live in apartments now.. oh well

SnooChipmunks8506 · 2022-12-26T22:41:24+00:00

Don’t tell her, but get a lawyer. It is worth the money. It will save you a lot of spousal support as the lawyer can protect you and the kids from her craziness.

This is a game women play. No lawyer and they convince you that $1200 alimony for life is ok. Then they take you to court for $2000 child support too.

An attorney can help you ensure everything is 50/50.

upvotersfortruth · 2022-12-27T02:59:23+00:00

If your house is a major asset, selling outside before the divorce is high risk if there’s significant equity. Similarly with debt.

Enriquez77 · 2022-12-27T04:42:17+00:00

There is a calculator on wa.gov that can help you estimate.

It is only an estimate, so be careful. Mine was about $280 off to my favor, but since she budgeted on the original number, we kept it with the estimate. (She would have asked for more spousal support if I hadn’t, and my kid turns 18 before her support runs out. So it was better this way.)

I’m going through the same thing, no lawyers, in Washington state and have managed to do it all ourselves. The court resources were our best friend. We filed a month or so ago and will be final on March 10.

DM if you have questions and I can share what I know.

Title	Help Getting a divorce
Author	OutlawsA15
Upvotes	8
Comments	11
Date	December 26, 2022 10:35 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/zvz01y/help_getting_a_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/help-getting-a-divorce.1145672 https://theredarchive.com/post/1145672

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