How did you make it work?

EcstaticGoose3128 · 2025-05-05T18:11:37+00:00

Having to work 2 jobs to afford everything right now unfortunately. Just track all expenses and eliminate any waste. Use any time you used to plan for entertainment like tv, video games, at the gym or running instead.

Reflog1791 · 2025-05-05T07:50:30+00:00

Balance the budget. Study your cash flows. Years 1 and 2 were tight financially. Then you wake up one day with no student loans, no credit card payment, no car payment, and a couple pay increases.

The important things I did were all about improving future cash flows. Don’t feel bad for spending money just take control of your cash flows.

Getting buff and updating your wardrobe (just a few high quality items) is worth a raise or promotion at nearly every workplace in America.

Good luck. Solving these problems breeds resilience which is priceless!

theChad-2303 · 2025-05-04T22:33:01+00:00

While my situation is in its infancy, it’s been an astronomical financial burden on me. I’ve been fortunate enough to have family help me with my legal fees. But I’m considering filing bankruptcy at the end of this. Particularly one major mistake I made was renting a condo suited for myself and my children BEFORE my DV hearing was over. As per my previous post, I do NOT have overnights yet. But I guess the money I’m spending on rent and surviving on is worth it because I’d probably have to pay her more if I was still living with my parents. I have no issue paying child support (if it’s actually going to them) I have 3 years of spousal support. Am I happier being away from my STBXW and in-laws? 1000% yes, but I’m fighting for my life to see my children. That is what hurts the most for me. I have 10 weeks of monitored visits then I’m free.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-05-04T15:52:54+00:00

My kids are older - 13, 17, 19 - so I don't sugar coat anything for them. I don't go into details but I let them know what's happening. Focus on quality time with them while also making sure they can flourish as individuals.

I'm actually making more money now even though I pay $2k in alimony. I'm not funding here weekly Target shopping sprees and all the other BS. All home utilities are down. Not wasting hundreds of dollars a week at the grocery store on garbage food.

Crazy the difference.

Paddle_Pedal_Puddle · 2025-05-04T11:28:46+00:00

I make a solid living, but even so, it’s going to be really, really tight this first year. Alimony plus child support will eat up 40% of my net income. Not having to pay for a lot of unnecessary crap now makes it worth it.

Even though finances are tight, I made the decision to buy a house that I can make into a new home for me and the kids and build a life around. They are excited and I think it’s helping to keep them grounded and feeling secure. Me and them are a team and building a new life together.

The fact that my STBX is a lying cheater made it a LOT easier to move on. I’m already happier and my divorce isn’t even final yet.

Important-Possible-3 · 2025-05-04T08:19:04+00:00

I was lucky enough to recover quickly from debt due to large bonuses I received after divorce. I make more than I ever have (after serving) and my ex wife only gets a very small piece a month so minimal that the court is pending to wave downward deviation to $0. Disgusting infidelity cases like mine made it extremely easy to move on and have a better quality of life while maintaining finances as well as me not needing to buy all the excess shit in the house that never got used or never needed, subscriptions, excess grocery shopping etc

deweys · 2025-05-04T03:50:40+00:00

I work in a lucrative career and had/have enough income to maintain two households. Not comfortably, and my financial quality of life was greatly reduced.

I did as much as I could with them from adventures to the park, movies, zoos, boat trips. I embraced the newly found autonomy of planning outings. The ex handled those things, the schedule was fully packed, and I had no chance of being anything other than the wallet and NPC along for the trip.

Happier? Yes, my happiness has improved greatly. I enjoy my freedom and my escape from the ever present eye of disapproval that controlled my life.

Title	How did you make it work?
Author	TA-acctnumber
Upvotes	8
Comments	10
Date	May 4, 2025 12:03 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ke6ucn/how_did_you_make_it_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-did-you-make-it-work.1551344 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551344

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